Julie Kemp Pick
The other day I was watching a classic Leave It To Beaver episode. After Beaver took an IQ test, his parents were notified that he scored the highest in the class. His teacher suggested that he enroll in a special elementary school for gifted children. During the interview young Theodore (Beaver) was asked what he'd like to be when he grows up. He thought for a moment and answered, " I'd like to be a garbage man. You don't have to wash your hands all the time, and nobody cares about how you smell."
Growing up my brother and I loved watching reruns of Leave It To Beaver. I tried to get my boys to appreciate the series, but it took a while for them to get used to viewing episodes filmed in black-and-white.
The series ran from 1957-1963, ending the year that Beaver was about to enter high school, while his older brother Wally was graduating. I wish we could go back to those innocent days set in the fictional town of Mayfield, but of course today things would have to be slightly different.
Saturdays in the Cleaver household were all about playing outside, helping with the chores, and sharing a lovely family lunch with Ward, June, Wally and The Beaver. Sometimes they would set off on a picnic, but they always spent quality time together and June was never seen without her pearl necklace. This scene takes place in front of the Cleaver's garage.
Ward: Boys, let's clean out the garage and after lunch we'll throw the ball around.
Wally: Gee Dad I sorta had plans with the guys today.
Beaver: Can I come too Wally?
In walks Eddie Haskell, Lumpy Rutherford and a new character who has a lot more stubble than Wally's other high school friends. He is sporting tattoos down his arms in place of shirt sleeves.
Wally: Uh Dad, this is our new friend The Situation. He just moved here from New Jersey.
Ward: (shaking hands) Nice to meet you. What do you fellas have planned for today?
Ward: Is that some new soda shop?
Situation: Gym, tan, laundry.
Ward: Oh well I see that you already have a nice tan. Don't worry about the laundry part though, Mrs. Cleaver will be happy to do it for you. As a matter of fact, she's been spending a lot of time humming in front of the washing machine lately. She'd love to meet you. Oh June!
June enters flushed and out of breath looking perfectly lovely in a summer dress and pearls.
Eddie: Hello Mrs. Cleaver! Did you just come from the dentist? Your teeth are as white as your dress!
June: (while rolling her eyes) Thanks Eddie.
Situation: Why didn't anyone tell me Wally's mother is a MILF?
Lumpy: I told you that Mr. Cleaver is a DILF!
June: Would you boys like to stay for lunch?
Beaver: No we're going to lift and look for hoes. Right Wally?
Ward: Well I won't hear of it! You fellas aren't doing anything on an empty stomach! You can all go after lunch.
As they're all walking into the dining room, June grabs The Situation's arm and whispers in his ear, "Do you know where I could score some Xanax?" The Situation smiles.
Then The Beaver asks, "Hey Wally, where's Lumpy?"
Cut to Lumpy trying on June's shoes in her closet.