The other day I was going through the typical assortment of bills, and catalogues when a certain letter caught my eye. It was bright yellow with the headline, NEED DAILY CASH - HERE IT IS “GUARANTEED”!!! Well I was saving up for a new robe, so I read further. The next sentence explained that I could earn over 2 million dollars within 6 to 18 months if I followed 3 easy steps starting with a $25 membership fee. I turned the flyer around to see if there was a giant GOTCHA written on it, but found the heading, "This new program is SCAM FREE!!!" instead.
I was taught to be weary of the single exclamation point. However, triple exclamation points always cancel out the single one, factoring in a double negative which becomes a positive, so it must be true. The first step to becoming a millionaire is to send $5 to five members on the list. They include men and women from
Pennsylvania to . I'm still waiting to find out if they accepted my friendship requests on Facebook. They're probably busy running back and forth from the bank everyday. Tennessee
After I send the first five checks in, I'm supposed to invite 5 new members, who each invite 5 new members and so on. In the meantime, I’ll be receiving “tons of $5 CASH from each new member” under me.
There are two more levels before I'm on the road to luxury. I just have to increase my cash payments to $50 for 5 members at level 2, and by the time I reach level 3 my payments will jump to $500 each. Because I’ll also be receiving money, I’ll only have to invest the original $25 plus a $15 monitoring fee. This amazing program will enable me to turn $40 into $2,167,275 within 6-18 months.
I wanted to call the head of marketing to thank him in advance for this “revolutionary new plan,” but I couldn’t reach him. Come to think of it, he never even mentioned his name. Suddenly, I have an overwhelming urge to watch reruns of the $100,000 Pyramid on the Game Show Network.