Host: Welcome to The Blame Game where children blame their parents for everything that's gone wrong in their lives and vice versa! Let's get started by introducing the Weasel family. Curt Weasel is a student at Cal State, and he's here with his parents. What are you studying, Curt?
Curt Weasel: Human behavior, social habits, movement and motion...
Host: So you're a psych major?
Mrs. Weasel: Not quite. He's been living on campus for two years trying to find himself. Though he's been accepted by the university, Curt hasn't officially accepted them. He's decided to live on campus for a probationary period until he's made his decision.
Host: So Curt has all of the benefits of college without actually being a student. Does he work to help cover his expenses?
Mr. Weasel: Does Curt work? No, finding himself is a full-time occupation. I, on the other hand work two jobs, and his mother runs a cathouse.
Host: Do you enjoy taking care of cats, Mrs. Weasel?
Mrs. Weasel: Well, the big tippers aren't so bad, but some of them are a literal pain in the butt.
Mr. Weasel: I thought you had that looked at?
Host: Considering the sacrifices your parents have made for you, what do you blame them for?
Curt: Just look at them. Mom's losing her teeth, and Dad wears socks with sandals. I can't be seen with them in public. They're an embarrassment.
Host: And Mr. and Mrs. Weasel, what do you blame Curt for?
Mrs. Weasel: He's such a sweet boy, but we do wish he'd call or write more often.
Host: Let's have the audience decide who is more to blame.
They tabulate the votes from the audience. Buzzers are beeping and lights are flashing. After a brief commercial break, the winner is announced.
Host: Well, the audience has made their decision. It was a very close race, but Curt is the winner! Let's find out what Curt has won.
The audience is simultaneously applauding, while cheering Curt's name.
Off-stage Announcer: Curt has won an all-expense-paid trip to a luxury resort in Maui where he'll have fun in the sun by day, and enjoy fine dining and entertainment by night.
Host: Curt, normally we provide a trip for two, but in this case you're entitled to bring two guests with you on this once in a lifetime adventure!
Mr. and Mrs. Weasel smile as they hold Curt close.
Curt: That's great! I could really use the time off. I think I'll bring these two hot girls I met backstage with me. Come on out ladies!
Two bimbos come out from behind the curtain. Curt places an arm around each girl, and exits the stage. Curt's parents and the host are left standing with their mouths wide open.
Cue The Blame Game theme music.