Wednesday, August 20, 2014

The Trouble With Lying About Your Age


                                                                             
I'm (on the right) with my adorable sorority sisters in 1981. l'll never tell which one was my partner in crime.

I've always done it. From an early age, my parents even encouraged it. One year, they had my older brother pretend to be nine when he was twelve in order to get into a drive-in movie for free. My dad quizzed him several times to make sure he could smoothly rattle off his fake date of birth, so that our parents would only be charged for two tickets instead of three. I could rest easy, as I was really nine, and in the clear. My brother worked well under pressure, and passed with flying colors during the practice drills. When my dad pulled up to the front of the line, the cashier asked him our ages. Before my brother could speak, my dad anxiously blurted out, "He's twelve and she's nine." They never asked my brother to lie again, but I was a different story.

As I grew, the lies grew with me. When I was fifteen, I passed for eighteen at my brother's college campus. The drinking laws were very lax in the 70's, so I just had to say the fake date and year I was born in before I transformed into an instant coed.

Things became more difficult during my college years. The drinking age changed from nineteen to twenty-one, and if you were caught with a fake ID, it was immediately confiscated. Fortunately, my tall, blond sorority sister came to the rescue with a copy of her driver's license.

It's true how everything comes around full circle. Now I fib about my age at the movies in order to get a senior discount. Some of my friends have caught me in the act, and hide while I purchase our tickets. It wouldn't be so bad if they weren't the same age, and older.

As for my lovely, kind and considerate older sorority sister, today she has a bionic hip, and still looks great in a bikini. Though at fifty-four she is a year older, she could pass for ten years younger. You would think I'd learned my lesson, but once a liar always a liar.

At a recent college graduation party for a family friend,  I decided to join in conversation with a group of women whom I'd never met. Introductions were made, and the topic of age came up. One woman said she was forty-five, another fifty-four, and then it was my turn. As they waited for my response to this silly question, I thought it only appropriate to respond with a silly answer. I concentrated on keeping a straight face when I told them I was seventy-two. Without missing a beat, the younger woman replied in all seriousness, "Well, you must have stayed out of the sun then."



32 comments:

  1. I lied to get into a club once...or tried to. They weren't checking IDs for most of the people, but I guess I had guilty eyes and I got busted. Didn't get to go into the club that night :)

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  2. I don't remember ever lying about my age. My mother did all the time until she got to an age where she was proud of how she looked for her age. She was thrilled to bits to tell a nurse how old she was and cause the nurse to do a double take.

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  3. When we are young, we want to be thought of as older so we can get away with more. Fifteen years later we minus the years we lied about in our youth. People seldom ask how old I am now but they do ask how many years I have been married as that is more polite. I just answer "104". They understand.

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  4. Funny! Yeah, the sun will age you.
    I don't think I've ever lied about my age. Although I could tell people now that I'm in my thirties and they would believe me.

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  5. LOL! That's awesome. Oh my... Whew! A woman will lie about her age, but she never ages herself further, right? Why would anyone do that? Awesome.

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  6. funny. We joke that when I show up, it blows my Dad's age. My sister is 10 years younger than me, my brother 5 years younger. I'm the OLD one. Frankly I'm ready for the senior discount. ha!

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  7. LOL! I almost choked on my bagel. Great answer!

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  8. Marriage does tend to age you doesn't it lol?

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  9. And that will school ya!

    I was really glad I wasn't eating or drinking anything when I got to the end of this one!!!

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  10. Keeping out of the sun leads to Vitamin D deficiency. My advice is to wear a wide-rimmed hat and walk about bare legged. No one ever died from wearing hot pants and your brown legs will look 20 years younger than you are.

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  11. Keith - They probably were more lenient with the ladies back then. Sorry they didn't let you in the club.

    Jo - My mom also lied about her age. I'll never forget the day my brother figured out she wasn't really 29!

    Arleen - You look pretty good for being married 104 years!

    Alex - Then you definitely should share your picture with all of your fans!

    Crystal - Some people will stoop to any level to feel better about themselves. Glad I don't know anyone like that!

    Joanne - Some places give senior discounts to 50+ AARP members, so you should take advantage of those offers. Your dad is very lucky to have you, and I'm sure you've always been a huge help to him!

    Carol - It struck me funny too! Thanks Carol!

    Delores - It definitely does, Delores! Ha ha!

    Robin - It is best to read my blog on an empty stomach, just in case!

    Gorilla - Great suggestions, though I could die from embarrassment wearing hot pants!

    Julie

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  12. I've got to that age when someone will offer you a seat on a bus and say "There you are Gran, take the weight off your feet."
    Great post.
    Yvonne.

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  13. I haven't yet tried to fib myself older. That's hilarious!

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  14. Yvonne - It's nice when people offer you a seat on the bus. Kindness and respect go a long way! Thanks Yvonne!

    Laurel - It seemed like a good idea at the time. At least I got a story out of it! Thanks Laurel!

    Julie

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  15. HA! Yeah, that ol' sun will do it to ya every time. I think it would have been entirely justifiable if you'd "accidentally" spilled something on that younger gal. And you probably could have gotten away with it, too, seeing as how you're at such an advanced age...

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    1. Susan - Fun idea, but there were too many witnesses around. Maybe I'll just be the bigger person by having several pizzas delivered to her house instead!

      Julie

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  16. Julie, if you are not photo shopping your photos, there is no way you would pass for a senior. I know how old you are, as we went to high school together. No way you could pass for 65, sorry. Great story though.

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  17. Julie, you look like a young Farrah Fawcette in that picture - no lie.
    It's nice that your Dad's conscious got to him. Not true of mine. He saved many dollars by lying about my age. I finally spoke up and said that I didn't want him to keep doing that; it was dishonest! He likely got angry but stopped. What could he do, when they were -in theory- raising an honest bunch of kids? Nowadays, I'm inclined to lie. I mostly let hair dye do it for me, by hiding the gray and appearing younger.

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  18. Rhonda - You're right I didn't pass for 65. I passed for 72! Thanks Rhonda!

    Robyn - It must have been very confusing to be put in that position as a child. Glad you stood up for yourself! Yes, I had the Farrah hairdo! Speaking of hair, coloring it is not a lie. It's a form of self preservation, and we all do it! Thanks Robyn!

    Julie

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  19. If you look at it as age is just a number, you can say you are whatever age you want to be. : )

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    1. Susanne - Wonderful words to live by! If everyone felt that way, we'd be a lot better off.

      Julie

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  20. Hi Julie - I know I look younger than I am and always have done .. but only once have had to wrangle about my age ... when I was driving my sports car and the police didn't think I was old enough .. by then I was 20 - three years into driving ... they even sent someone to my mother's house - to get confirmation! Ah well ... the bionic hip need might be kicking in!

    I might take up Susanne's idea ...

    Cheers Hilary

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  21. I just turned 55 in June this year. Some places consider that age as being "senior." I definitely don't feel like a senior, but hey, if someone wants to give me a discount price based on that, who am I to complain. :D

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  22. Someone pointed out as you get older, you should actually say you're OLDER than you are, for the reason you seem to have discovered. If I say I'm 29, people will think, "Whoa. You look horrible for your age!" If I say I'm 60, they'll say, "No way! You look awesome!" Both examples are extreme, but so was yours! I did have a friend who would use the self-service machine at the movie theater and buy either the children's or senior citizens' ticket. If you use your credit card, you never even have to convince the person behind the counter of your age. She got away with it for two years before an usher finally noticed and all he said was, "You must have bought the wrong ticket. Go to customer service and they'll switch it out for you." I wouldn't do it because I believe that stuff bites you in the butt, but movie theaters need to be aware of this and ushers need to look at those tickets!

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  23. Hilary - I hope your hip is okay! It's nice that you've always looked young for your age, and still do! Yes, Susanne definitely has the right idea!

    Daisy - It's hard to turn down a discount when every little bit of savings helps!

    Stephanie - Oh the lengths we go to for a compliment! At least it worked for you! It's amazing how long your friend got away with it! My movie theater interactions were always done face-to-face, and I usually had at least one senior with me.

    Julie

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  24. I stuck on a certain age and keep to it for a few years. I laughed out reading this post.

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  25. Nas - I'm sure you picked a nice number to hold onto! I had a friend for years who fibbed to me about her age. I finally found out the truth when I took her to the doctor! Thanks. Nas!

    Julie

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  26. how funny! Age is funny thing for women. I wish we could not be so hung up on it, as we age. I've decided to stop dying my hair and accept my age. I'm writing about it on my blog, if you're interested.(series is called 15 Shades of Gray.) We keep buying into society's lie that we have to maintain youth. Men don't do that. It's been quite a journey.

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    1. Mare - I'll have to check-out your series! You look great to me regardless of your hair color! And there are plenty of men who cover up their gray too. Thanks Mare!

      Julie

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  27. "...but once a liar always a liar." LOL
    Too funny.
    I like the pic, Julie, especially the hair. I can remember, we all wanted that early-80's Farah-Fawcett style. Well, I permed mine to get that effect. Didn't last long though.
    I still colour my hair and I go for the vibrant auburn tones. Not sure if I'll stop any time soon. We'll see.

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  28. I lie about my age.
    But, they STILL don't ask to see my ID at the Beer Tent.
    Crap.

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  29. Michelle - I also had a perm after college. Though it didn't look quite right with a mullet. I don't know what I was thinking! "Vibrant auburn tones" sound very pretty. My mom always wanted me to be a redhead. Thanks Michelle!

    Al - I'd find another beer tent then! The nerve of those people!

    Julie

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