Thursday, September 13, 2012

Musical Chairs At The Doctor's Office


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Last week I decided to go to the doctor when I had trouble sleeping from flu-like symptoms. My doctor was booked solid, so the receptionist got me in to see another partner in the group. There were four partners in total, and the large waiting room was beginning to fill up when I arrived.

I checked in, grabbed a magazine, and found an aisle seat facing the exit door. Shortly after, a woman with a friendly disposition sat in the middle seat next to me. There was an open seat at the end of the row, but for some reason she decided she liked this one better. I was honored that she chose to sit next to me when there were clearly a few other options available, but I played it cool pretending to peruse my generic magazine from 2007.

Suddenly, I was transported back to my first day in high school; circling around the cafeteria, not knowing which table to plant my lunch tray on. Those moments were more stressful than all of my classes put together. Some days were easier just sneaking a bag of M&M's in between the pages of a fashion magazine in the library. Those healthy eating habits probably led to my frequent doctor visits.

The waiting room was still filling up, when I felt a cough coming on.  I coughed on my left shoulder, away from my seat companion in the direction of the front desk. The desk served as a shield, so the receptionists were also protected. When my cough continued to get worse, I went over to the drinking fountain in the hallway. My seat companion was still there upon my return.

The room started emptying out, and my coughing ritual started all over again. Only this time, I decided to take action by moving across the room to spare my neighbor. In between coughs I sputtered, " I don't want to get you sick," and she flashed me an empathetic smile.

The whole time I was wondering why they didn't try to put me in quarantine earlier.  I was clearly creating a disturbance, and for all they knew I could've had whopping cough or TB. This led me to come up with a new health care plan for large practices.

The waiting rooms should be divided up according to the severity of the illness. For example, I would've been seated in the Coughing, Sneezing, and Fever Section. While my seemingly healthy neighbor would've been directed to the Good Citizen Yearly Exam Lounge. Other sections may include: Tummy Trouble (near an open window of course), Trashy Rashes and What-Nots, and the always popular I Feel Fine But My Wife Made Me Come Anyway Section.

Each section would be roped off.  Although partitions may prove to be more practical. Especially  in the case where a patient is left dangling too long on the rope in between the Everything Hurts Just Shoot Me Corner, and the Hypochondriac Hutch. This may lead to a future visit to Trashy Rashes and What-Nots.

31 comments:

  1. I would never admit to the public that I had had a trashy rash or what not; I would fake a cough instead.

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  2. Those divisions are hilarious! Bet the 'wife made me come' section would fill up fast.

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  3. The 'wife made me come' section should be in another room entirely since those folks are usually on deaths door before they finally give in and show up. Gloves and gowns all around.

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  4. Hope your better. The divisions should use plexiglass to keep the airborne germs at bay and group peeps according to symptoms. Sounds a little creepy.

    Hugs and chocolate,
    Shelly

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  5. Alex is right my husband would always be in the "my wife made me come" section too. Many children's doctors have "well child" and " sick child" sections- smart thing. I like your names better :) Hope your feeling better...

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  6. Hi, Julie. Hope you are feeling better real soon! I like your new health care plan idea. :)

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  7. Those people with the trashy rashes should be made to stand. I don't think we want their backsides on the chairs everyone sits on. Ha!

    At our urgent care they make people with flu like symptoms wear a face mask. It really is disturbing to go to a doctor's office and find yourself sitting next to someone who's too ill to be out of bed. You feel so bad for them...and then worry you'll be next.

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  8. Arleen - Something tells me that it would not attract many willing participants! Better to fool them!

    Alex - What is it with men and doctors? Thanks Alex!

    Delores - Great point Delores! Hope your hubby is feeling better, and you're okay too.

    Shelly - I'm much better now thanks. The plexiglass would help against germs, and it would create kind of a 'creepy' effect.'

    Jen - It's amazing how stubborn men can be, but I also know a few women who refuse to go to the doctor. I'm lucky that my cough only lasted about a week. Thanks Jen!

    Thanks Susanne, and I'm doing fine!


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  9. Feel better Julie! I have spent quite a bit of time at the hospital/doctor's lately with my son's broken thumb, then broken cast. There should be a special section in the waiting rooms called, "You Won't Believe How This Happened". That will be the section with loud guffaws and other such snorts.

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  10. L.G. - You're absolutely right about making it a standing room only section! I feel the same way and even more so in the ER.

    Sara - What a great idea for a special section! It may need to be subdivided between the PG and NC 17 ratings! I'm fine and I hope your son is doing well. Sounds like a pretty painful experience. Thanks Sara!

    Julie

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  11. I do fear waiting rooms in medical buildings. I always think I'll leave sicker than when I arrived. That was nice of you to move and consider your neighbor.

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  12. I dread going to the doctors, last week my appointment was for 11-10am. she was running late, she called a patient in who was in there for 25 mins, then she called someone else who was in for 35 mins. When it was my time I was told sorry can't stop too long as it's way past my lunch.
    Yvonne.

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  13. LOL I cracked up about the tummy trouble section next to the window. So gross but also too funny! Your divisions are hilarious, I know I'll be thinking about this next time I go to the doctor LOL.

    I had to laugh about the woman sitting right next to you when there were other empty seats. That is one of my biggest pet peeves, I admit it drives me nuts. I guess I just have a thing about personal space LOL.

    Hope you're feeling better now Julie!

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  14. At my kids pediatrician they have a well side and a sick side. I think that should be the case every where.

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  15. Honestly - you are just FUNNY! I love the idea of waiting rooms with mild-case and quarantine zones. I've never been a client of a busy medical practice and rarely had to wait. My dentist is different though; lots of people in that waiting room. But at least I can't catch a toothache. :-)

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  16. I agree! I had a similar experience at the pharmacy last week also. I was picking up my routine heart medication and was in line with a "sicky" as his wife called him.

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  17. I'm glad to hear you're feeling better, and thanks for the chuckles. I spent three long hours at the doctor's today, and when the nurse took me back to the first examining room, I commented as to how I'd never been in that particular room before. She told me it was for patients who were extremely sick, to keep them away from other less-ill patients. Then a look of horror crossed her face, and she quickly assured me that I wasn't "extremely sick." Made me laugh, but I'll second your idea about some degree separation. Especially the part about putting the nauseated people close to windows. HA!

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  18. Libby - I often worry about that too, but it's helpful that many places have hand sanitizers. Thanks Libby!

    Yvonne - It's horrible that they made you wait so long, and then rushed you through the exam. Hope you're feeling better soon, and it's good to see you!

    Julie - How can anything drive you 'nuts' when Polar Night is about to be published?! You're going to have to get used to fans disrupting your 'personal space' while signing autographs! Hopefully, they will all be healthy! Thanks and congrats again Julie!

    Ciara - That would certainly make things a lot easier!

    Lexa - Great line about the toothache! Thanks and I think you're funny too Lexa!

    Heather - Hope you're doing well, and try to stay away from guys named "Sicky!"

    Susan - Three hours at the doctor's office must've been torture. I hope that everything is okay. I'll feel a lot better if you tell me that snacks were involved. Thanks Susan and take care!

    Julie

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  19. wow i was getting nervous just reading--hope you are okay now :)

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  20. Hi Julie,
    What a great idea and a very entertaining post in a um sick sort of way. Next time my human, Gary, yes the human I kindly allow to live with me, takes me to the vets, I shall insist that I get to sit or lie down in the yapping Jack Russell section.
    Arf! Arf! Sorry, my breath is pretty bad today.
    Pawsitive wishes and doggy kisses, Penny xx

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  21. Lynn - Nothing to be nervous about! Nervous conditions could lead to Tummy Trouble, and Trashy (or just plain) Rashes! I'm fine thanks, and hope you are too!

    Gary and Penny - The Yapping Jack Russell Section is sure to be a hit! Ask Gary for a doggie breath mint to be on the safe side! Thanks Penny and Gary!

    Julie

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  22. Haha! I am always very paranoid in the doctor's waiting room, constantly looking around to try to assess what deadly diseases my fellow waiters might possess. I really do think they should have cordoned off areas!

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  23. I know exactly what you mean! You have to be pretty fit to survive a trip to the GP. Hope you're sleeping soundly once more.

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  24. When I went to the Doctor is Austria I don't remember ever having an appointment, though I probably did. It seemed though that everyone just came and it didn't matter what time you thought your appointment was it was important to pay attention to who was there because the nurse would come out every little while and say next. It was always a good idea to know who came in after I did. Sometimes I think that works better. Other times nothing seems to. I do like the idea of separate sections. Imagine how big such a waiting room might be, fabulous.

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  25. I don't like going to the doctor. I truly believe that the prescribed medicine (especially antibiotics) make you feel sicker than you are. I hope you're feeling better though...

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  26. Talli - My favorite doctor visits were when I was pregnant, and I got to flip through adorable baby magazines. I'm sure that you're enjoying that time now. Thanks Talli!

    We must stay strong Rosalind! I'm sleeping much better now thanks!

    Yvonne - It's a shame they didn't pass out numbers like they do at the deli counter. Thanks Yvonne!

    Michelle - I agree that it is important not to be over-prescribed, but sometimes antibiotics are necessary. Thanks Michelle!

    Julie

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  27. My kids' pediatrician have separate sections of the waiting room for well and sick visits. But I think they are random about the exam rooms, so the waiting room thing is just for show. And I think all they do to clean exam rooms between visits is change the paper on the table.

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    1. You're probably right on both counts. Although they may do a little more disinfecting in some situations. Thanks Tonja!

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  28. While we're at it, I'd very much prefer separate sections for "Uncontrollable Irritable Bowel Syndrome," "Chronic Flatulence," and "Plague."

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    1. Once you are stricken with the plague, the other two don't seem so bad. Just try to stay healthy Al.

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  29. aww man. I hate doctor's offices or waiting rooms in general. I hope you feel better soon.

    Nutschell
    www.thewritingnut.com

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