Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Against Doctor's Orders

fodrizzle.com

                                                          
I've gotten to the point in my life, where my doctor visits have turned into "outings," which is not dissimilar to my mother, and grandmother. Several years ago, my ninety year old grandma took two buses to her doctor's office, and was handed a gown in the examining room. Since it was summer, she took off her coat, sweater, blouse, skirt, orthopedic shoes, girdle, and pantyhose, while she shook as the air conditioning blasted.

When the doctor finally showed up, he asked her how she was feeling, went over her list of medications, and said to get dressed without ever having examined her. Then she proceeded to put all of her layers of clothing back on, before embarking on her long bus ride home. Later when my mother asked her mother why she didn't say anything when the doctor didn't even bother to examine her, my grandma replied, "Oh, the doctor was very busy, and I didn't want to be a bother." My grandma would never question anything her doctors did, and second to her hairdresser, they were to be treated with the utmost respect.

Although my mom also holds her hairdresser in the highest regard, she does not hesitate to argue with her doctor, "No, I will not stay in that rehab facility. I don't like it, and that's it. Can you give me a pill? I'll take a pill, but that's it. Do not call my daughter to talk about my test results. You can call me, and that's it!"

Though I have a wonderful doctor, we have had some polite disagreements. About six years ago, before I was scheduled to have a follow up endoscopy, I asked to have a colonoscopy at the same time. I had also been having stomach problems, and thought it made sense to check everything while I was under anesthetic anyway. Because I was only forty seven, and the recommended age was fifty, both he and the gastroenterologist were reluctant to perform the procedure. Not only did I have my first colonoscopy, but I ended up having three in a six month period. The polyp was so large, that I underwent abdominal surgery to remove it. That argument probably saved my life.

My physician reminds me of the TV doctor from the sixties, and early seventies, Marcus Welby M.D. James Brolin played his handsome young sidekick, Dr. Kiley.  Dr. Welby always went out of his way for his patients, and even made house calls. Though my doctor doesn't make house calls, he'll always visit you in the hospital even when you're under another doctor's care. He'll also always tell you the truth. Whenever he introduces me to another doctor or nurse, the eighty two year old never fails to mention, "She's not fat. It's her liver."


41 comments:

  1. Enjoyed your post! Thanks for sharing! Your grandmother's story made me laugh, but I shivered along with her as I read it! And I, too, remember Marcus Welby M.D.!!! My middle son is named Mark, and I call him Markus Welby alot just for fun. I'm sure he's never seen the show, and his friends think his mother is crazy...but it makes me smile every time. Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. We were all taught to be nice and not question authority. Thank God, those times are over.

    ReplyDelete
  3. It seems that the older we are the more intent doctors become on calling us into their surgeries. I'm sure they think that the over 60s, here in England, have nothing better to do with their lives than have test after test for no reason. Almost every pensioner is on high blood pressure tablets!
    I felt sorry for your grandmother - going through all that for nothing.
    Most people, at one time, would have never argued with anyone in authority.
    I'm pleased your op was successful, Julie.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, way to go convincing the docs to do the procedure to find that polyp. I have a family history of colon cancer so my doc made me get a colonoscopy last year and I'll need to do it now every five years. Not pleasant at all, and to undergo three in six months, ugh!!!! A small price for you to pay considering the result however. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  5. The experiences I have had with doctors tell me they are "in it for the money" and not because they care about people. Medical science may have been in its infancy 100 years ago but the men who doctored us did it because they valued human life.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Good for you for arguing! Doctors seem to be born with the "I'm always right" gene. I suppose they need that kind of confidence to become doctors, but at some point along their journey you'd think they'd figure out it isn't always true.

    ReplyDelete
  7. That last line is hilarious.
    I always ask questions. They aren't always right. And good thing to trusted your instinct and insisted on that procedure.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I laughed out loud at the end of course.
    Amazing to think that argument probably saved your life. I used to never challenge doctors but I'm learning to now. Love that your mom and grandma hold/held their hair dressers in such high esteem, LOL. I prefer my hair dresser to most doctors too. :D

    ReplyDelete
  9. I feel so bad for your grandmother, but that's how it used to be and I'm sure still is for some. So good you insisted and had the procedure, wow, that was a close call. After we moved to the country, I ended up with two bad doctors and had to pay more for my insurance so I could have more choice. I am so glad to have that option because I finally found a doctor I like and can communicate with.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh this was good! I so need to be more assertive with my doctors. Years ago, there was a Rose is Rose cartoon, that showed the mom character at the doctor's office. Suddenly, she is the size of a little girl, her legs dangling from the exam table. That is precisely how I feel!. Good for you mama!

    ReplyDelete
  11. A lot of them are full of crap, if they can't see it, then yeah, you are fine, pffft, I argue away.

    ReplyDelete
  12. My family has a long line of people who do not like doctors. Having witnessed how some, I'll make that many, doctors are I can understand why. But, I also hope when I get to be that age there will a whole bunch of doctors that do not think they should try to convince me they know everything.

    I should tell them about the lawyer son who defends the insurance companies.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Oh Julie .. yes that time is coming .. I talk to 'old boys' who say I have to take my trousers down and get help, then my knickers, and then .. I have to get help to pull them all up again! Pre inspections for replacement knee surgery ...

    You do laugh .. but honestly to take everything off for 'no examination' is a bit much ... but I'm glad you pushed for the colonoscopy - just proves the point - your body knows best ..

    Cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete
  14. I've been sick a long time with this darn migraine and have seen more doctors in the last ten years... well, safe to say I've seen a lot. My mom and I are in a race to see who can rack up the most appointments. A couple of years into this thing, I learned that I COULD NOT BE SILENT during this process and just acquiesce to whatever the doctor thought. They are not always right. Sometimes they are very wrong. I have changed doctors many times because some of them simply DON'T LISTEN. Good for you on insisting on that colonoscopy. No one will ever know our bodies better than we do!!!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Elaine - I also think the story with my grandma is funny now, but I was furious with her doctor at the time. It's cute that you call your son Marcus Welby! Thanks Elaine!

    Arleen - Now we have to question authority in a "nice" way.

    Fanny - So true about running endless tests! Now the insurance companies here are trying to cut back on blood pressure medications, which could cause problems for people who really need them. Thanks Fanny!

    Kim - I'm sorry that you have a history of colon cancer in your family. It's good that you are being checked every five years, even though the prep is no picnic. Stay healthy Kim!

    Delores - That's why I like my doctor, because he never rushes me out the door like many of the younger doctors who deliberately overbook do. It does give me hope that some of my friends' children are going into medicine. I know how caring they are, and truly believe they're in it for the right reasons.

    LG - A few months after my surgery, I felt another polyp. When the gastroenterologist concurred with my diagnosis, I asked him why he hadn't found it. I was surprised that he admitted spending so much time on the big one, that he missed the smaller polyp.Though I didn't enjoy having another procedure, I appreciated his honesty. Thanks Luanne!

    Alex - My brother started going to our doctor first, and he really treats us like family. I was very lucky that it was caught early. Thanks Alex!

    Julie - Hair first, doctor second, and bus driver third! Actually, my grandma didn't fuss about her hair as much as my mom does, but she did enjoy going to the beauty shop. Thanks Julie!

    Inger - Thank goodness you changed your insurance, and were able to find a good doctor. It was ridiculous that they put my grandma through that. Thanks Inger!

    Julie - It really is important to be your own advocate. I've tried to teach that to my children, and hope that it will eventually sink in. Thanks Julie!

    Pat - There are many good doctors out there. Some just need a little more guidance in the right direction.

    Yvonne - It's great that your son is a lawyer, but hopefully you'll never need his help in a malpractice suit. Sometimes you just have to keep searching until you find the right doctor.

    Hilary - I hope that you don't need knee replacement surgery. Take care of yourself and remember to stretch, stretch, stretch! Thanks Hilary!

    Robin - I'm sorry that you've suffered so long with your migraine. It's good that you are willing to do whatever it takes to find the best treatment options for yourself. I know that living with chronic pain is a real nightmare, and hope that you are on the road to recovery. Thanks Robin!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  16. I've become darned assertive over these past 5 years of caring for my mom. When we were kept waiting for two hours and the appointment lasted 10 minutes I let that doctor know my opinion very loudly. It surprised her. It surprised my mom. And it really surprised me. But we never waited again.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Good for you, Julie. It's a shame more people don't argue with their doctors. They aren't gods to be held in awe, and half the time, they don't know as much about your complaints as you do!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Lee - I'm sure that your mom was very proud that you fought for her, and she was very lucky to have you. It must have been a very difficult five years, Lee.

    Val - Unfortunately, many doctors do put themselves on pedestals, but we cannot let them intimidate us. Thanks Val!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  19. That was funny about your mom peeling off her layers and then not getting an actual exam.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Julie, good for you for trusting your instincts and insisting the doctor run the tests.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Shelly - That actually happened to my grandma. My mom would've told the doctor off! Thanks Shelly!

    Susanne - I probably would've waited if I wasn't having the other procedure anyway. I'm very grateful that it all worked out. Thanks Susanne!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  22. Instincts never lie! I have sudden senso neural hearing loss in one of my ears. When the DR herded me out of his office with a prescrip for an ear infection, I knew it was wrong. Yet I didn't say anything and walked out. 2 weeks later, my hearing was still gone and I had to see a specialist. I learned my lesson. The hard way. My hearing never returned in my left ear.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Excellent! You have a real touch for telling these types of stories. Keep it up!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi Julie,

    Kudos to you for insisting that you got further checked out. Indeed, your assertive manner may well have saved your life. The doctor is not always right. A thoughtful lesson here. Thank you.

    Gary :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. Leslie - I'm so sorry that you lost your hearing in your left ear. I probably would've followed the doctor's advice too. You can't blame yourself, because the damage may have already started long before you had any symptoms. Take care of yourself, Leslie.

    Carol - Thanks for the kinds words, and the gentle nudge!

    Gary - You are absolutely right! I wish that I could be more assertive when it comes to other things too. Thanks Gary!

    ReplyDelete
  26. I hesitate going to my doctor.
    I just can't get past that prostate exam.
    SIGH....yes, I know...Mrs. Penwasser has repeatedly told me to shut up complaining. Evidently the ladies have been getting probed since puberty (I am NOT being dirty. Surprisingly).
    Still, it's an EXIT not an ENTRANCE.

    ReplyDelete
  27. House calls! What are they?!! Our doctors have taken to treating patients over the phone. How they can tell what they're doing I dread to imagine!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Doctors are not God. They are human which means they're prone to human error. Scary but true!
    Back in the day, nobody really questioned the expert. That's the way it was. My 85 year old mom believes in "her" doctor. She is reluctant to see any other doctor. And I remember those days when doctors made house calls.
    And they say that your gut never lies!

    ReplyDelete
  29. My parents both take their doctor's word as the word of God for sure. I have had many experiences where I disagreed with my doctor or my son's and been right. The thing is, you know your body and your kid's body better than a doctor who doesn't really know you at all. If you feel something is wrong, it usually is.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Al - "Still, t's an EXIT not an ENTRANCE," is another Penwasser classic! I hope that's going in your book before someone else steals it!

    Rosalind - Being treated over the phone is fine for some conditions, but it's still better to have a personal examination. Some people are afraid that they might catch something else just by going in.

    Michelle - You can still get a second opinion no matter how much you respect your doctor, but there are those who still feel like they are being disloyal. I hope that your mom is doing okay.

    Shell - It's great that you question your doctors for both you, and your children. There are so many different variables that need to be considered.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  31. Glad you argued and saved your life. The medical system is very different here, and everything goes through our "Family" doctor, much more like the Marcus Welby MD than I had in the states. My doctor will even make house calls . . . for a price higher than I would pay, so we don't use that service.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rhonda - I was very lucky that I didn't have to wait until I turned 50 to have the procedure. It's still nice to know that you have the house call option as a last resort in an emergency. Thanks Rhonda!

      Julie

      Delete
  32. Julie, I hope you will stop by to accept the award I've nominated you for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Susanne - Thank you so much for the Super Sweet Blogging Award! It was so nice of you to think of me, and the badge looks absolutely delicious!

      Julie

      Delete
  33. I lost respect for my new doctor once I realized she didn't give a crap about me. I went in, feeling miserable for the first time in 10 years, and the whole time she just acted like there wasn't anything wrong with me. Like I was faking it. She saw me for 5 minutes, measured my breathing, then just wrote down "patient's results are unremarkable, see again in 3 months if not feeling better" and walked out. I never saw that awful woman again, and thankfully was able to recover on my own without her help.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Of late I've been to the doctor several times because of a lingering illness. They haven't seemed to help much and it seems like I never see the same doctor anymore. I feel tossed about.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

    ReplyDelete
  35. A Beer For The Shower - That doctor was extremely rude, and unprofessional. Her only concern seemed to be moving on to the next patient. I'm glad that your problem eventually went away.

    Lee - I'm sorry that you've been under the weather for so long. Some of the flu-like symptoms can last up to several weeks. Take care of yourself, Lee.

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  36. "She's not fat. It's her liver." Haha, priceless. I want your doctor, Julie. And thank goodness you were proactive. Thank goodness that, also at 47, I happened upon wonderful professionals who expedited my surgery once I demanded that they do so. It does make you wonder, sadly, how many lives are lost because of the attitude of respecting the doctor - which translates into not advocating for one's self.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  37. I used to have one of those Dr. Welby-like physicians, too. It was very heartwarming when he stopped into my hospital room to say hello after some other doctor had admitted me. Until I got his bill. Who KNEW he'd charge me just to say hello...?

    Good for you for getting the doc to do the colonoscopy and endoscopy in one swell foop. I've had multiples of each, but only one at a time. Seems like a waste of perfectly good anesthetic, doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Robyn - How wonderful that you fought, and won many times over. It was an incredibly brave, and smart thing to do, Robyn.

    Susan - This reminds me of when my mom stayed at a nursing home for rehab. The doctor on staff would just ask her how she was, and bill her for two minutes of his time. Dr Welby would not have approved. Try to stay healthy, and probeless, Susan!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete