Never Say Never To Nudism

                                                                 

White Thorn Lodge

It's taken most of my life to realize the importance of never saying never, until I came across an ad for a nudist club. The White Thorn Lodge in Darlington, PA is listed in the American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR), and it is clearly "not a clothing optional resort." What makes this stand out from many others is that this is a "family nudist club."  

Well it's been a while since we've taken a family vacation and our kids don't really enjoy shopping or museums. Another draw is that the lodge is " Home of the Original Nude Volleyball Superbowl," and they really do love sports. 

The only swimwear requirement is that babies must wear some form of plastic pants in the pool. I never did like trying on bathing suits, and I do get over-heated in my three-piece, so hanging around the pool au naturel might not be so bad. I'm sure my 19 and 22 year old boys would want to be first in line with us for the family swim. 

It would be wonderful not to have to deal with packing, as we'd each board the flight with a baggie filled with a toothbrush, toothpaste and sunscreen. I would probably want to include some body bronzer for those hard to reach areas, and some waterproof duct tape for windy days. Sunglasses would be my only accessory.

After we arrived, we'd have to adhere to the lodge rule of always carrying a towel to sit on. And I was worried about hygiene.


Note: This is a repost from the 2011 A to Z Challenge. Be sure to check out the 2014 participants  here.  I'll be leaving on vacation next week, and will have limited Internet access. Don't worry, our carry-ons will include more than toothbrushes. I'll try to check in with everyone before I leave. Looking forward to catching up with all of you in May.

Hard of Hearing Husbands

Husband: What did he say?

Wife: Pause the TV and I'll tell you. 

(After the explanation, he plays it back.)

Wife: Do you think I'm a liar? Why would I waste more time inventing new dialogue? If you were going to rewind it anyway, then why did you ask me in the first place? If we keep going through this over and over again a sitcom will turn into a drama, and a drama will turn into a mini-series.....

Husband: What? 

Has this happened in your home? Is your husband or aged boy toy in denial about hearing loss? Can you listen to all of your next-door neighbors' TV shows with the windows closed? And what about the issue of selective hearing? Does this affect old and young alike?

In our household, there is definitely a selective hearing epidemic that has taken over all of the male members. My husband yo-yo's back and forth between not hearing anything, dozing off in the middle of a sentence, to hearing whispers, and complete conversations with friends in noisy restaurants.  Of course, he has the uncanny ability to hear all bodily sounds, but fortunately his sense of smell is floundering.

My sons' have inherited my husband's ability to tune me out especially when I ask them to pick up their clothes or straighten out their rooms. All three of them can watch a game on TV, text, and IM at the same time. Though my husband mistakes  IM's for instant meals.

I often worry that my husband may one day drag me down to the guttural gallows, as the volume continues to go up. The other day my brother asked me," What are the two things our mom does better than anyone else at the retirement community? "  

Considering that my mom is among the youngest of the residents, I thought long and hard about my answer. Two seconds later I replied, " Seeing and hearing!" Well my eyesight isn't as sharp as it used to be, but I'll fight to preserve my exceptional inherent hearing skills.  Even if it means hiding the remote.

   

Note:  I originally wrote this for the 2012  A to Z Challenge. Unfortunately, the situation hasn't improved. 

To Be Or Not To Bee

                                                                                

Today is the letter "B" for the A to Z Challenge. Though it is bittersweet that I'm not participating this year, I thought that I would briefly combine it with the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Since  Alex J. Cavanaugh is an integral force of both groups, it seemed only fitting.

                                                       


As a writer, it is very confusing to find words that have more than one spelling. Recently, our younger son showed us a paper about amateur sports. He had written amature. Although the word didn't pass spell-check, it still popped up on the Free Online Dictionary. I finally found amateur on the Merriam Webster site, which is the gold standard. Needless to say, he agreed to change it.


Spelling is more confusing now than ever with the advent of texting. A friend of mine told me that her daughter received an email for a job interview that was written like a text message without capital letters or punctuation. Her daughter was careful to respond in a professional manner wondering if this was some sort of test. Many adults are just as bad as kids when it comes to abbreviating their messages in an effort to save time.

Years ago, I worked for a market research firm that posted notes on a bulletin board. When a survey was canceled they would write CANCELLED in bold print. Once it was my turn to post an announcement, and I struggled with the two spellings. I knew that canceled was the correct American English spelling, but if I didn't spell it their way, then I would look like an idiot. Begrudgingly, I spelled it with two L's, or is it begrudginglly?