Friday, September 5, 2014

FAVORITE OLD BROADFEST

                                           
                                                                 
 Available on Amazon
   


To celebrate its release, each old broad featured in this book is blogging about her favorite old broad today, and we invite each of you to tell us a little something about your favorite old broad in the comments. Stay tuned for more details on how you could win a free copy of Old Broad's Waxing Poetic.

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I couldn't decide on just one favorite old broad, so I thought it would be fun to create my own. My mission was to build the best old broad by combining the most exquisite features from glamorous screen legends.

I came up with Elizabeth Taylor's eyes, Raquel Welch's cleavage, Jane Fonda's abs, Cyd Charisse's legs, and Lena Horne's sizzle. I glanced at the list, and couldn't quite put my finger on what was missing, so I called my life coach.

I went over the list with my mom, and she was unimpressed. She began talking about some of the legendary movie stars from her day like Veronica Lake who was known for her beautiful blond "peek-a-boo bang," and Betty Grable 's "million dollar legs." Sadly both actresses died young. Veronica Lake died at fifty from hepatitis, while Miss Grable lost her battle with lung cancer at fifty-six. Like many of our writers, technically they were too young to be considered old broads.

This conversation took place while my mom was having her bedtime snack. I overheard her request a "handful of peanuts" from her caregiver. It was after eleven o'clock, and I was making her late for bed. I didn't dare comment on her dangerous late-night snack. She said in an irritated voice,"So they both died young. What do you want from me? Why don't you go with Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies as your favorite old broad?"

My mom was in a better mood when I redialed at 11:02. She started to whisper when her caregiver left the room. "Can you hear me? I have to talk fast. I want you to know that I moved my money from the third drawer on the right to the second drawer on the left in the other room. That's where it will be tonight. I'm planning on moving it again tomorrow. I just thought you should know in case anything happens to me."

Then I asked her if this meant I got to keep all of her bingo winnings for myself, or if I had to divide it among the family. With that she let out a very husky laugh which reminded me of  a younger Lauren Bacall. My mom regained her title as my favorite old broad. Though she had known all along that her position was as secure as her forty-seven cents.

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Now it's your turn to tell us about your favorite old broad for a chance to win a free copy of Old Broads Waxing Poetic.  Just write a short poem or essay in the comments.  In addition to reading a wonderful mix of entertaining and heartwarming poetry, you'll also feel good in knowing all proceeds from its sale are going to CARE International.

Now let's meet our talented group of young and hip Old Broads. Be sure to follow their delightful blogs.

NOTE: "Technically, Michael isn't a broad. He's a very nice guy who used that lovely image from Francesco Romoli to create our cover for us, so you could say, as an important member of our team, he's an honorary broad. With hairy legs."  -Susan Flett Swiderski


Help spread the word on Facebook and Twitter throughout the week. Also, please indicate where you posted about your favorite old broadso we're sure to find it. The winner will be announced next Friday, September 12th. Thanks for your part in making this a very broad celebration.

35 comments:

  1. I love this story about your mother! She'd be my favorite, too! So happy to be a part of this book, and to have "met" you through the process. Enjoy this fun Friday!

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  2. Nice you selected your mother. And I'd say the Bingo winnings are all yours.
    Congratulations everyone!!!

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  3. A wonderful post, and a joy to read.

    Thanks for being a follower.

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  4. she's probably moved the money again by this time. Very funny and the perfect old broad.

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  5. I had exactly the same thought as you! All the "old broads" you've mentioned were more famous when they were young. Granny Clampett was the genuine article - give your mom a banana for naming her and tell her it's from a gorilla!

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  6. Oh, Julie, I just love your stories about your mother! She certainly is a character and well worth the title of a Great Old Broad.

    I purchased the book this morning as soon as you and Sue mentioned it in your blog. I can't wait to read it.

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  7. Oh, Julie, this is a WONDERUL post. I have a feeling everyone who reads your blog loves your mother, and would be going after you with a hickory switch if you hadn't picked her as your favorite.

    (If you wanted to pick a celebrity... as per our phone conversations yesterday... Betty White! Thank goodness it was just a rumor.)

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  8. There's as much playfulness and sass as there is heart and humor in your stories about your Mom. I love it.

    Of all of us, Julie, I'm most excited for you. This is your first published book! You had a spark of inspiration, shared it with Susan, and look where we are! I'm proud of you.

    I hope you treat yourself to, among other things, a very nice pen for signing autographs.

    xoRobyn

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  9. Liza - I'm also glad that we met through Old Broads! Thanks for entrusting us with your lovely poems, as well as your willingness to help out!

    Alex - Now I just have to make sure not to spend it all in one gumball machine! Thanks Alex!

    Yvonne - Thanks for following me too, and for your kind words!

    Joanne - I think you're right! Who am I kidding? We'll never find it! From your beautiful poems to your tireless work on our formatting, you always came through for us! Thanks again for everything!

    Gorilla - Jane Fonda's still active on TV, and in movies. I also saw Raquel Welch a few years ago, and both actresses still look great! Irene Ryan who played Granny was only in her 60's on the show, but she still ran around a lot faster than I ever could! I'll still give my mom a banana, because you said so. Thanks Gorilla!

    Arleen - Not only did you make all of us Old Broads very happy, but you've contributed to a worthwhile cause! Thank you so much Arleen, and I hope you enjoy the book!

    Susan - I'm also a huge Betty White fan, and I'd love for my mom to play her snarky younger sister! They would make a great team! Speaking of teams, thanks for helping me put a great team of Old Broads together, and keeping me in stitches throughout the whole process! I couldn't have done any of this without you!

    Robyn - Now you've made me cry! Though you're the "kid" in the group, you are wise beyond your years! I wrote that you were our cheerleading captain, and you still are. Your poems really shine in Old Broads, and you also worked in helping us find other shining stars! Thanks for your wonderful contribution, my friend!

    Julie


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  10. I love this, Julie. I feel like I've met your mother from the stories you tell about her. What a great choice she is as a favorite old broad.

    I am thrilled to be one of the old broads. Thank you so much for including me! :)

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  11. Loved this! Looks like I've been missing out on a lot of fun.

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  12. Your mom is already my favorite Old Broad.

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  13. Connie - I'm so glad you shared your delightful poetry with us! You really helped make Old Broads special! Thanks Connie!

    Shelly - We really did have a lot of fun! You should enter our contest, so you can join in on the fun! Thanks Shelly!

    Lee - My mom will be thrilled! Thanks Lee!

    Julie

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  14. Hey, forty-seven cents is forty-seven cents :) Great story about your mom. Congrats on the book!

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    1. Carol - You're darn tootin! Thanks Carol!

      Julie

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  15. Hi Julie - your mother has always amused us .. and thinking about it - my mother would come up trumps, when she was confined to bed, with some very incongruous thoughts ... and straight up ... I was always being convulsed in laughter at the improbability of the situation ... and the staff would regale me with stories too ...

    Old broads are good ... we had a purple people carrier to transport us to Cornwall with hospital bed, her aunt and uncle who'd died were with us ... and we owned castles in Buenos Aires ... and who else would know where Valparaiso was - Chile ... I had to have my wits about me at all times ...

    Such fun .. to read and I need to catch all the others too ... cheers Hilary

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  16. Just read this on Michael's blog and as I announced, I am probably one of the oldest broads blogging. A great inspiration for charity.

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  17. HI, Julie,

    Sorry I didn't have time to visit yesterday... Terrific story about your mom! How wonderful to still have her with you. I lost my mom when she was only 66...

    Funny, some of you ladies are hardly "old broads"... I'd say "pre-old-broads" would be more correct... LOL...

    Congrats on your wonderful anthology! We ALL made a great team!

    Hope to see you downtown soon... let me know when you have a free day to visit the city!

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  18. It's awesome to see this book out, and I'm looking forward to checking it out. And like your mother, I too live my life 47 cents at a time.

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  19. Congrats on the release! Hope it raises loads. Your mum sounds great. I'd say my grandma was my favourite old broad (if I can call her that!) She unconditionally accepted my wife from the beginning (nearly 10 years older with three kids), whereas my parents took a bit longer... they're good now though. She was always really sweet to my wife and stepkids, and I'm glad she saw us get married, although she sadly passed away before the birth of her first great-grandchild.

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  20. You'd be my favorite old broad, except for the old bit. Since we went to HS together, and I am not old . . . well you get the idea. Congratulations!

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    1. Rhonda - Just because we went to high school together doesn't mean we're the same age. I could've been on the five year plan, and you could've skipped several grades. In other words, YOU are not old. You travel all around the world with your family, and have tons of energy. I'm exhausted just from typing this. See, you have nothing to worry about! Thanks Rhonda!

      Julie

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  21. Hilary - I always enjoy your stories about your mum. She sounds like such a fascinating woman who had an incredible thirst for knowledge. I'm glad she passed those wonderful qualities on to you. Thank you, Hilary!

    Jo - Age is a state of mind, and your mind is sharper than many people half your age! Thanks so much Jo!

    Michael - Thanks again for creating our stunning cover! You really went all out for us, and it shows! We are more like "pre-Old Broads," but this looks better on the cover! I'm sorry you lost your mom so young, and I know how lucky I am. We do all make a great team, and I look forward to seeing you! I'll email you soon, Michael!

    B & B - So you're the other person who bends down to pick up a nickel in the middle of the street? Too bad one of you is already married, and the other is soon to be wed, because I think my mom has found her perfect match! Thanks B & B!

    Nick - It's wonderful how your grandma saw your wife through your eyes! I'm sorry that she didn't live to meet her first great-grandchild. Thanks for your kind words, and for sharing this heartwarming story!

    Julie

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  22. Loved the story about your mum. Congratulations on the book!

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  23. Of course your mom HAD to be your choice! So happy and excited for you, Julie!. Congratulations!!

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  24. Julie, congratulations again! I can't wait to read the book!
    Your mum sounds priceless...
    When it comes to celebrity broads, have to say I love Evelyn Harper from the sitcom Three and a Half Men...

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  25. Nas - Thank you so much!

    Julie - I know you have a strong bond with your mom too. I hope she's doing better. Thanks Julie!

    Michelle - Holland Taylor is great as Evelyn Harper on Two and a Half Men! She really knocks her tough old broad role out of the ballpark! Thanks Michelle!

    Julie

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  26. Congratulations, Julie! And here's one more nice news for you. You've been nominated for "The Versatile Blogger" Award. Here's my post on that: Versatile Blogger Award: Delighted to Receive it!

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  27. I always thought Natalie Wood was SO beautiful...and I didn't even know about her until she died. I read her biography as a teen and was fascinated. I don't think stars are the same today as they used to be. The world isn't focused on movie stars, thanks to reality TV and people like Kim Kardashian.

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  28. SittieCates - Thank you so much! I'll head over to your blog soon!

    Stephanie - Natalie Woods was a beauty, as well as a great actress. Sadly, she died when she was only in her forties. She made some excellent movies. For one of her best early performances, I would recommend Splendor In The Grass with Warren Beatty. They made a beautiful young couple on and off-screen.

    Julie

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  29. It would be wonderful if every old broad were your mother, or at least as resourceful as your mother is. I have come to appreciate my own mother more since she died just a few weeks before she turned 83. She lived a long, difficult life and helped a lot of people. I hope I can age as well as she did.

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    1. Yvonne - i couldn't wait to read this to my mom, and as I suspected she loved hearing your kind words! It's not uncommon for people to really appreciate their loved ones until after they're gone. That's why we have to make it a point to tell our families and friends how much they mean to us. I'm sure you'll age well too, Yvonne. Thank you!

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  30. i'm so excited about this book! i'm very glad you all put it together and love michael's cover design!

    what a precious story - my mom is my favorite old broad too. =)

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    1. Thank you so much Tara! I really enjoyed working with these wonderful women, and Michael really came through for us on the cover! I'm glad you feel the same way about your mom. Thanks again for your kind words, Tara!

      Julie

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