Wednesday, July 1, 2015

IWSG: Back To The Empty Nest Again



One might call my older son a prince among men, as he and his little brother will shortly be moving in together. Though the boys were four years apart in school, I couldn't be happier that they get along so well. Of course, now that my younger son is officially leaving the nest after moving back in with us when he graduated from college last year, all of my insecurities are starting to pile up again.


This brings us to Alex J. Cavanaugh's, Insecure Writer's Support Group, a safe haven for bloggers to release their inner fears to an encouraging  and resourceful group of writers from all over the world. 


After my younger son moves out, some of my deepest fears include:

  • Who will side with me when my husband and I have an argument?
  • Who will watch my favorite shows with me when a sporting event is on TV?
  • Who will make me the best hot fudge I've ever tasted on sundae night? 

  • Okay, I made up the first two, but he really does make the best hot fudge, though he only makes it on rare occasions now, as his favorite saying about eating anything unhealthy is, "I'm not going to put that in my body."

    Both of my sons have big hearts, and are always there to help out in any situation. Whether my younger son is teaching me core strengthening exercises to help my back, or my older son is helping me troubleshoot with my computer on the phone while he's in the middle of work, I can always count on them.

                                                                     

    When they invited my husband and me to go apartment hunting with them, they promised that we'll often be invited over after they move in. We are extremely proud of the young men our sons have become, and their close relationship is the greatest gift of all. Though the fact that they're looking to hire a cleaning lady, who isn't me, is an added bonus.


    *Note - I'll be taking an extended blogging break to help our sons move, and to work on a new project. I really appreciate all of the support that everyone's given me throughout the years. I'll try my best to visit during the next several days. Wishing everyone a wonderful 4th of July weekend, and I hope to see you all at the end of the summer.


    56 comments:

    1. Having your children have a close relationship is one of the best gifts a mother could get. As far as them living together, be relieved that you won't have to be there to breakup any disputes they might have. You are free, Julie, free. Enjoy the quiet.

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      1. Arleen - They really have given me a tremendous gift, and my husband feels the same way. I'm not worried about them having too many disputes, as they both have the ability to laugh things off. I will enjoy the quiet at times, but I'll still miss them terribly. Thank you, Arleen!

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    2. I like it when a mother shares her maternal feelings! Your pride in your sons is surely amply justified. I immediately thought you must be joking when you mentioned the arguments with your husband...you're not the kind of woman who needs support when she's arguing with a man who looks likes Rodney Dangerfield.

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      1. Gorilla - My hubby has never looked like Rodney Dangerfield, as he's more of a Dustin Hoffman type. Since he's lost weight, he's been able to fit in our younger son's clothes. So as Rodney would say, "Show a little respect!" Thanks for the kind words about my boys! I do like your sensitive side, Gorilla.

        Julie

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    3. Brilliant Julie - what a wonderful hug they've given you ... and you've supported them through their young lives - you must be such proud parents ...

      You'll be having fun while you search and help them move .. but you've got 2 pairs of strong arms ... so hopefully you can wave painted nails at them and say .. that should go there, dears ... and this will go there - regardless of their preferences ...

      I can see it all happening in front of me - no doubt you'll put us right later on ... with some fun tales ... good luck, enjoy, much laughter and happiness ... and that empty nest won't feel too empty .. it'll be full of bucket loads of love ...

      Happy moving and time down and out with your sons and their Dad ... Hilary

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    4. You raised them well, mom! That's great they are so close. And I like that your youngest considers his food choices.

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    5. Empty nest could be a time for travel. As for your insecurities. Be glad you are not part of my family. If hubby and I have an argument, Jeff's mum always sides with him. My dad was told by his mum (my grandma) that you always side with the spouse, as your own child will always forgive you, but the spouse may not - so if the battle ends in divorce he will still get to see his grandkids. So in short, everyone sides with hubby regardless of who is correct.

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    6. Great that they are friends. So many siblings aren't, at least in their young years. Hope the move goes well. Enjoy your time off.

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    7. You are a very blessed woman. Hugs...

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    8. Hilary - It's so nice to hear from you! Hope you've been enjoying your time off. I like the idea of waving to tell my boys what goes where doing their move. You really know how to cheer a person right up! Have a wonderful rest of summer. Thank you so much, Hilary!

      Alex - He's a strength and conditioning coach, so he really puts his money where his mouth is, except on 'cheat' days. Thanks for all you do, Alex!

      Rhonda - Your mother-in-law sounds delightful! She should be especially appreciative that you've raised her granddaughters so well. Sorry you just can't seem to win on either side. Hope you're feeling better, Rhonda.

      Jo - I know how lucky we are. Thank you, and I hope you enjoy the rest of the summer, Jo!

      Carole - Yes, I truly am when it comes to my family. Thank you so much, Carol! Sending more hugs your way...

      Julie

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    9. good luck moving - bend with knees, not the back or just stand and point for your sons. They are good looking kids and sound like you raised 'em right. This is a new adventure for them and you. It's all good! All the best. Enjoy your time off. Best of luck with projects. Stay cool and happy summer

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    10. Hi, dear Julie! My mother had two sons but we were born ten years apart, are polar opposites and, regrettably, have never been very close. I am very happy to know that you raised two fine sons and that they are great pals, too. If that's a picture of them (and not two of the Backstreet Boys) then they are not only wonderful sons and brothers, they are handsome young men, an added bonus.

      I noticed you wrote that your husband is a Dustin Hoffman type. It's funny. A girl I dated in college told me that I looked and sounded like Dustin Hoffman as Benjamin in The Graduate. She even nicknamed me "Dusty."

      This might seem selfish, but it makes me a little sad to know that you need to break away from blogging for the summer at a time when we are getting to know each other and growing our friendship. I hope you will remember me when you return. I promise that I will remember you.

      Have a safe and happy Independence Day weekend, dear friend Julie!

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    11. This is the best story today. Great young men who probably already know, or will soon learn, you may have all the friends in the world, but your family has your back. One of them will pick you up at four in the morning, two states away, no questions asked.

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      1. Joanne N. - We're very fortunate that our family really does look out for each other. I hope that call never comes, but I will sleep better knowing they'd be willing to go the distance. This really means a lot knowing how much you've done for your family, Joanne. Thank you, and a have a great 4th!

        Julie

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    12. Joanne - Great advice, but I don't plan on doing any heavy lifting. I'm more involved in getting everything together. They already have most of the big things organized like furniture, but it's the little things like shower curtains, and bath accessories that still need to be taken care of. I'll probably be in charge of bottle washing, and kitchen set-up too. Hope you have a great 4th, and a wonderful rest of the summer! Thank you so much, Joanne!

      Shady - That's funny that your old girlfriend called you "Dusty." At first, my hubby didn't like being compared to Dustin Hoffman, as he thought he was a tougher Al Pacino type, but Dustin has aged a lot more gracefully than Al Pacino, and looks terrific. So I consider it a compliment, Shady. Ha-ha, cute line about the Backstreet Boys! I'm sad to take a blogging break, but I've been getting farther behind over the last few months, and things are only bound to get busier. Thanks for all of your kind words, and of course I will remember you, Shady! Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend too!

      Julie

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    13. It's a sad moment when your children fly the nest, but knowing you have given them a good start in life is a bonus.
      Great to read Julie.
      Yvonne.

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    14. What a blessing to have two sons who get along!
      They sound like fine young men.
      "they're looking to hire a cleaning lady, who isn't me..." Yay!

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      1. Hey Julie! Just popping in to say hello!
        Hope you're well.

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    15. Oh my gosh, there are so many parallels between your sons and you and my sons and me. I almost feel like I could have written much of this same post. Your sons are quite handsome and sound like fine upstanding young men. You have much to be proud of. :) Enjoy your break.

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    16. Sounds like you did a great job raising your sons. And I think it's wonderful that you all have such positive relationships with one another!

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    17. What two amazing young men! They will surely realize just how much you did in years before to bring them to where they are now!
      We'll miss your break...could you send postcards?

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    18. >>... the fact that they're looking to hire a cleaning lady, who isn't me, is an added bonus.

      So that means you're free then? Because this place I'm living in is a mess. I'll do the windows... if you get the rest. (And by "rest", I don't mean a nap.)

      GEM JULIE, those are good looking kids you got! In fact... is that really two different sons or did you use some photoshop skills to double up?

      Hey, I hope you have a great Summer and enjoy your time off. I'll be waiting eagerly for your return. (And so will my residence. This mess isn't going anywhere until you get back.)
      [;-)}

      Take care, Julie. You're a gem!

      ~ D-FensDogG
      'Loyal American Underground'

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    19. Sounds amazing people. I'm also an empty nester now and no one to side with me when arguing with hubby :(

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    20. What sweetie pies, Julie. :) Good luck with your new project. Have a good break!!

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    21. Yvonne - It really is a bonus that they've turned out so well. Thank you, Yvonne!

      Michelle - We really couldn't be more proud, and I'll be glad to be relieved of my cleaning duties! Thanks Michelle!

      Daisy - I felt the same way when I read your poem in Old Broads. I'd say we both have much to be thankful for.

      Cynthia - My hubby helped a lot too, as well as other close family members. I hope those close bonds are never broken. Thanks Cynthia!

      Susan - Oh, I'll continue to find ways to remind them! I'll miss you too, Susan. Remember I'm only an email away. Have a fun 4th! Thanks Susan!

      Stephen - If I knew how to photoshop, I'd have a much better profile picture. I'm sure your place looks fine; otherwise you can always invest in a good DustBuster or Swiffer. If your feet start to stick to the floor, then you'll know it's time for a good cleaning. Thanks for the kind words about my boys. Have a fabulous 4th and rest of the summer. Now that BOTB has exploded, you'll be too busy with your other fans to miss me. Take care, my funny friend!

      RR - Well, that's just wrong. I know you're always right, RR!

      Ava - Thank you so much! Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend, Ava!

      Julie

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    22. It sounds like you have some good sons. It's great that they're close as well, the bond of siblings can be one of the strongest bonds I've seen. I hope their move goes smoothly and that you have some memorable moments with them through the process.

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    23. I'll be happy when my oldest moves out, because he's finally gotten his act together. Lot of heartbreak, but he's done a complete 360. Hope everything goes super smooth for you and have a happy 4th.

      Father Nature's Corner

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    24. What lovely boys. Enjoy your summer.

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    25. I've been through the empty nest so many times it's getting old, but I don't think it ever gets any easier.

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    26. Elizabeth - I hope their bond continues to grow stronger. Their move should go pretty smoothly. As long as the movers don't bang up their TV, they'll be happy. Thanks Elizabeth!

      GB - I'm glad things are looking up for your oldest son. I don't think they realize how much our hearts ache when they're going through rough patches. Hope you have a great 4th too!

      Delores - Thank you so much! Enjoy the rest of your summer too, Delores!

      Karen - Fortunately, they're not moving far away. Most of my older son's law school friends moved out of state. Our boys will just be a drive or train ride away. Sorry it hasn't gotten any easier for you, Karen.

      Julie

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    27. One of things of which I am most proud besides my "Dogs Playing Poker" tapestry is that my three brothers and our sister (poor lady) all still get along and enjoy each others company.
      In fact, we (sans sister) will be going on our 11th Annual Camping Trip next month (aka "Boozefest Under the Stars").
      I wish your boys the same fortune.
      They don't even need booze.

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    28. Aw... Know how you feel. At least they're not moving overseas.

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    29. It's heartwarming to read and see how close you and your sons are, Julie. And they look like handsome mensches.
      I hope you have both a productive and enjoyable July 4th weekend.

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    30. Al - It's great that you're so close with your siblings! I'm sure your son and daughter also have a nice relationship, and things will only get better once they have children of their own. Have a great time on your camping trip, and I hope highlights will appear on
      Penwasser Place. Happy 4th!

      Shelly - I can only imagine how difficult that must be for you. Our family is unusual in that my in-laws were the ones who chose to live overseas. Have a fun 4th, Shelly!

      Robyn - I'm very grateful that they are mensches. Thanks so much, Robyn! Hope you have a fabulous 4th, and I'm still laughing from your pulsatingly patriotic poem!

      Julie

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      1. Well, of COURSE highlights will appear! As a matter of fact, I'm taking Bones along with us. I hope he likes s'mores.

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    31. Looks like you did a fine job of churning out some great sons. Good luck with the move, don't pull anything, and enjoy your blogging break. Family > blogging any day.

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    32. B & B - I'm sure that you'll feel the same way when you have children. Just think how well your dog turned out. He even holds done a job as a service dog. Thanks Bryan and Brandon!

      Julie

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    33. Hi Julie,

      Humble apologies in my delay. I totally understand how you eagerly wait for one of my highly cherished comments. Yes, note my modesty. No, not that modesty!

      Your two sons, two young princes living together and of course, behaving themselves, as princes do. Unless one's name is Prince Harry.....

      A mixed emotion time for you, Julie. And yes, like your sons counted on you, you can count on them. A positive, loving outcome.

      Enjoy your blogging break and I shall somehow try to keep the blogging world going in your absence :) "IWSG" aka "I Was Seeking Gary." Oh yeah and then I woke up......

      Gary :)

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    34. Aw. You're blessed to have really good children. That says a lot about you. ;)

      Have the break that you need. Hope to read your stories when you get back.

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    35. It's no surprise at all your sons are wonderful young men. Your list of fears made me laugh!
      Enjoy your break and have a fantastic rest of the summer. It's exciting to read that you're working on a new project. Take care!

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    36. Gary - We have a lot in common, as your two wonderful children, Tristan and Penny have also moved in together. I feel better knowing that you'll make sure the blogging world is running smoothly in my absence. Thanks Gary!

      Lux - Thanks for the kind words. I really appreciate your thoughtfulnes, Lux.

      Julie - Glad you liked my silly list. I could really use some tips on multi-tasking, as you're working on two books at once. Good luck with everything. Thanks so much, Julie!

      Julie

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    37. You sure do have a couple of good-looking boys. You can thank genetics for that. (They didn't get their looks out of a grab bag, ya know!) And as far as their big hearts and helpful attitudes, well that didn't come from outta nowhere, either. You and you hubby obviously raised 'em right. Another job well done, kiddo. May they continue to give you joy (and hot fudge sundaes) for many years to come.

      Enjoy your break. I'm intrigued about your "project". (I hope it's a BOOK!)

      Take care.

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    38. How wonderful to have your boys so close to you and to have them enjoy your help and company. Have fun apartment hunting. See you when you return.

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    39. Susan - Fortunately, they don't have all of my genes! Thanks for the kind words, Susan! No, it isn't a book, but it does involve writing. Enjoy the rest of your summer, and I'll talk to you soon, my friend!

      Lee - I hope they still feel that way after the move. Thanks Lee, and try to make room for some fun in between all of your hard work this summer!

      Julie

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    40. I think it's both an exciting and scary time when your kiddos move out. It's fun to see them grow into self-sufficient, capable, caring adults, but at the same time it's a bit sad to let them go. My daughter is 19. I cherish the times she comes home during the school year.

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    41. Apartment hunting is fun though hard work! All the best!

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    42. I hope the move went smoothly. :-)

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    43. They look like fine young men to me. You have every reason to be proud.

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    44. You have big exciting milestones to celebrate this time, Sounds like a great blog idea indeed. Great cover too.


      personal statement writing service

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    45. No doubt you're proud. I guess sundae night is at their place from now on. :-)

      Anna from Elements of Writing

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    46. What handsome young men! You and yours have done good jobs with them, it is clear. See you 'round the bend.

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    47. Hope you had a great summer. I've been tending our empty nest for a few years now and have gotten used to it. Actually it's kind of nice to have the house to just my wife and I, but I sure do miss the kids.

      I spent three weeks with my oldest daughter's family this summer and it almost felt like a role reversal. It was almost like I was now one of the kids with my daughter and her husband in charge of things. It was kind of nice for a change and it was wonderful being with her as well as near all of my daughters and grandkids who all have moved across country from me. I'm glad for them, but I hope that after my wife retires in a couple or few years we might move closer to the kids so we can see them more often.

      Hope to see you posting again soon.

      Arlee Bird
      A to Z Challenge Co-host
      Tossing It Out

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    48. Nice post! loving the review!
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      Abarajando

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