Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters



Welcome to the May edition of Alex J. Cavanaugh's  Insecure Writer's Support Group. As Mother's Day approaches, I thought I'd re-post a vintage game show parody that many of us can relate to. Be sure to visit Alex and his talented team of writers. Happy Mother's Day!

                                        Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters

Host: It's time to play Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters, the only game show where mothers and daughters try to get along to win prizes that the mothers will never be able to operate in the first place. Let's meet the contestants...(He notices that one mother is still trying to climb up into her chair)  Do you need some help Dorothy?

Dorothy: No, I'm fine thank you.

Dorothy's daughter: Just grab my hand, and let me give you a boost.

Dorothy: I said I don't need any help. STOP RUSHING ME!

Host: Okay, let's move on to Gladys and her daughter Gretchen. How many times do you call your mother a day?

Gretchen: Once. 

Host: And you Felicia?

Felicia: I call my mother once a week.

(A loud siren sounds)

Host: Where's Dorothy?

Dorothy's daughter:  She fell down and her Life Alert alarm went off.   

 (The paramedics lift Dorothy into her seat)

Dorothy's daughter: I call my mother six times a day. She hangs up on me, and says, "It's never enough."

(The bell sounds ding ding ding)

Host: You are correct. The answer is, "Never enough." You just won a case of prune juice. You must be very proud of your daughter Dorothy!

Dorothy: Did you see how nice those paramedics were? Why couldn't you have married someone like that?  

Host: All right then. Now we'll ask the mothers a question. Gladys when is the last time you said something nice to your daughter?

Gladys: Don't we get a lunch break?

Host: It's only been five minutes. We'll have snacks after the show.

Gladys: But this is when I eat lunch.

Gretchen: Here Mom, I brought you a sandwich. (takes one out of her purse)

Gladys: It's on rye bread. I like a nice roll. I can't eat this. What's wrong with you?

Fanny: I'll take it. I'm starving. (Looks at her own daughter Felicia) Why don't you ever make me lunch?

Host: Fanny, when is the last time you said something nice to your daughter?

Fanny: That's easy. As we were driving over, I told my daughter that her dress was very pretty...

Host: Well, that is nice.

Fanny: And I'm sure that if she lost ten pounds it would actually fit her.

Host: Maybe we should just throw out that question. Dorothy, when was the last time your daughter took you to the doctor?

Dorothy: You know falling down really makes a person thirsty. How come no one offered me a drink or a sandwich?

Host: If you answer the question, I'll get you both.

Dorothy: Okay, yes please.

Host: Yes please what?

Dorothy: I would like both a drink and a sandwich. Soup would be nice too, but I don't want to be a bother.

(Gladys is dashing across the stage with her walker. Her daughter is jogging behind her)

Host: Where are you going?

Gladys: I just remembered I think I forgot to turn off the stove.

Host: Can you have someone else check on it?

Gretchen: It's my stove, and I just got a text that the fire department is heading over to my house.

Gladys: Are we stopping for lunch first, 'cause I still haven't eaten?

Host: Good luck ladies. Be sure to tell us your new address, so we can send you a lifetime supply of incontinence products.

Dorothy: Continents? I can name the continents! There's Asia, Africa.....

Host: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Thanks for playing Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters. (The daughters storm off stage) Aren't you forgetting something? Don't leave me alone with your mothers. Come back!!!


  1. Hi Julie - what a brilliant regaling ... and honestly being left with the mothers - they'd probably be as nice as pie ...

    Great story telling .. my mother as ascerbic at times ... but I just laughed and that got her happily laughing along ... loved this - cheers Hilary

  2. Very funny . . . and just in time for Mother's Day this Sunday!

  3. That was hilarious! Someone get that woman a sandwich on a roll, quick.

  4. I like your dialogue. Typical for mothers and daughters.

  5. Oh boy. I can see myself and my daughter in this although I don't need a walker, yet.

  6. This could be a show. Actually I think maybe I've seen it.

    Arlee Bird
    A to Z Challenge Co-host
    Tossing It Out

  7. Hilary - You had such a wonderful relationship with your mom, and I know you still miss her so. She was lucky that you always found the bright side to everything, and it helped you both get through difficult times. Thanks Hilary!

    Debra - I thought we all might know a mom or a grandma like one of these characters. Thanks Debra!

    Alex - I appreciate your sensitivity to the emergency sandwich that will only be eaten on just the right roll issue! Thanks for hosting another great IWSG!

    Patricia - Though it is a parody, there are some traces of reality in it. Nice to meet you Patricia, and thank you!

    Tamara - Hopefully, you never will. Sounds like you have a wonderful daughter! Thanks!

    Lee - Glad to see you're still going strong after A to Z! I missed all the fun this year. You may have seen it, because I wrote this a few years ago. But if it does show up on TV, please let me know. Thanks!


  8. OMG - hysterical and so typical! Julie, have you ever thought of doing Stand up comedy???

  9. This was great, but a little too real. :)
    @DoreeWeller from
    Doree Weller’s Blog

  10. I can't decide now if I should be ashamed or pleased by how often I do/don't talk with my mother. Funny stuff.

  11. Very familiar scenes and all too familiar dialogue. Funny? Yes. And for me it's all memories now. Thanks for reminding me of the days with Mom.

  12. So funny. And so real. I've missed reading your blog. This was a perfect welcome back.

  13. I would watch this show! Very funny, Julie! Thanks for the smile. Wishing you and your mom a happy Mother's Day.

  14. Fun...and with mother's day just around the corner too!

  15. Reminds me of the ladies eating at Lenny's. Or is that Denny's.

    May 2016 IWSG Co-Host
    May the 4th Be With You
    Stephen Tremp’s Breakthrough Blogs

  16. I remember this post and it was just as funny to read this time around. Dorothy's line about the paramedics is my favorite LOL.
    Happy Mother's Day to you and your wonderful mom, Julie!

  17. Haha, nice! I'd probably leave my mom with the host if she was so critical. (She's not!)

  18. Funny funny funny! I'd be curious to see how these ladies do on Family Feud!

  19. That is so funny, Julie. I hope that when I am in my dotage, I will treat my daughters kindly and with gratitude. I also hope they bring me a sandwich.

  20. Dixie - I'd probably fall apart after the first heckler. Thanks anyway, Dixie!

    Dorree - Even though it's a little more real for some of us than others, we still have to try to laugh about it, right? Thanks Dorree!

    Crystal - Isn't it the quality of the conversations rather than the quantity? I guess every mom has different expectations and we all have to do the best we can. Thanks Crystal!

    Lee - I know a lot of these stories are bittersweet for you. I just have to appreciate how lucky I am, and thank you for reminding me.

    Carol - I miss you too. I'm sorry I've been so absent in blogland. I know you've been busy working on your novel, and I've also been spending most of my time working. Good to see you Carol, and thanks for not forgetting about me!

    Connie - Thank you so much, and the same to you, Connie! Enjoy your wonderful family!


  21. Olivia - I tried to come up with something new, but decided to dust this one off for Mother's Day. Thanks Olivia! Enjoy the holiday!

    Stephen - I can't imagine what their waitress must be going through! Thanks Stephen!

    Julie - Thanks so much Julie! Hope your mom is doing well, and you enjoy your Mother's Day together!

    Shannon - I'm sure the host would eventually return her. Not sure what condition she'd be in though! Thanks Shannon!

    Cynthia - They'd either drive themselves or the host insane! Thanks Cynthia!

    Arleen - I'm sure you will be easy breezy, and a perfect joy to all! We never had to worry about feeding my grandma, because she would pack chicken wings in her purse whenever she rode the bus! Have a Happy Mother's Day, Arleen!


  22. Could see this happening! Gladys (?) forgot to mention how hunky the EMTs are...they are beyond nice.

  23. Thanks for the laughs!
    I've said it before and I'll say it again, this is a reality show just waiting to be discovered!!!
    You're sitting on a gold mine, Julie!
    Writer In Transit

    1. P.S. I'm wrapping up the A to Z Challenge e-book giveaways...did you connect with Beth Camp, the winner of Old Broads Waxing Poetic?

  24. This is hilarious. A lot of this is my grandmother to a T.

    And hey, if you're making soup to go with those sandwiches and drinks, I'll take some. Just as long as it's not a bother...

  25. I almost forgot about this, but it's just as funny now as it was the first time you posted it.

    I hope you had a wonderful Mother's Day. Bet you weren't a "bother." Not even a little bit.

  26. Susan - Yes, the EMT's are always "hunky and nice," and oh so patient! Thanks Susan!

    Michelle - A gold mine? I'd settle for a handful of nickels! Hopefully, Beth has received her copy of Old Broads by now. Thanks for including us, Michelle!

    Bryan & Brandon - I'd love to meet your grandmother! My virtual kitchen is always open for you 24/7! And some of my soups taste even better in the shower! Thanks B & B!

    Susan - I did have a wonderful Mother's Day, and my mom said she enjoyed it too. Her grandsons made it extra special for all of us! Hope you had a fabulous Mother's Day too, Susan! You deserve it, my friend! Thanks Susan!


  27. hahaha...funny! I hope you had an awesome Mother's Day!

  28. LOL! Meddling mothers. They're everywhere.

  29. GEM JULIE ~
    This was HILARIOUS!!!

    Why am I only just now discovering it a month late? Why did this never appear in my cotton-pickin' Blogger Dashboard? Consarn it all!

    This was maybe the funniest thing you've ever posted... and that's REALLY saying something!

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'Loyal American Underground'