Tuesday, September 4, 2018

IWSG: Mom Talks About...SEX

                                                       
                                                    

It's time for another edition of the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Be sure to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh and the rest of the talented writers who are always willing to lend a helping hand.  

                                                    Mom Talks About...SEX

According to a recent Newsweek.com article, a young married Chinese couple, ages 24 and 26 were trying to conceive for four years, and it wasn't until they visited an obstetrician that they discovered they were literally doing it backwards.

In other words, you know how some wives say their husbands are a pain in the...? Well this young woman was not exaggerating.

The article explained that the reason for the couple's confusion was that China considers sex-education classes in schools "taboo."

Shortly after the doctor sent the couple home with a sex-education handbook, the wife became pregnant. The happy couple was so grateful that they gave the doctor a live hen and 100 eggs.

Sadly, most of my fifth grade sex-education class remains a blur. I just remember while most of the boys were snickering, the graphics scared me into thinking - I will never ever do that with anyone!

Of course my mom was thrilled to hear that, though she reassured me, "You'll feel differently when you're married."

Fast forward 16 years to a month before my wedding. My mom sat me down and in between drags of her Virginia Slims cigarette, she asked me in all seriousness, "Do you have any questions about the wedding night?"

Keep in mind that I was 26 and had been engaged for almost a year. Although I didn't save my handbook, I wasn't going to take a back seat to anyone and my mission was front and center.

So I confidently told my mom that I did not need her help in that department. Then I asked her what outfit to wear to work the next day and if she had time to iron it for me.

My mom sat in a daze until the strangest look came over her face. It was like a huge boulder had been lifted from her shoulders. Then she smiled, but it wasn't her usual smile.

I considered driving her to the hospital, but I really needed my dress ironed.

Words were never spoken, but Mom embraced me in a loving hug.

Did this mean she was finally proud of me?

The news that I was closer to Miss Kitty than "The Flying Nun" made my mom prouder than when I wrote a story about her in second grade entitled: "My Mom's My Best Friend."

When I recently reminded my mom of these events, I eagerly awaited her response.

I said, "When you were trying to give me advice about our wedding night, were you worried that I was going to screw that up too and the lovely wedding you planned would never come to fruition?"

She smiled and said, "Something like that." 

18 comments:

  1. I'm smiling as I read this. It has some very serious elements in it but they are wrapped in humour.
    Shalom aleichem,
    Pat G @ EverythingMustChange

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  2. Hahahahahahaha! And gawd, I haven't thought of Virginia Slims in years.

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  3. You probably made your mother's year with that conversation.
    Even without sex education, how on earth did that couple do it so wrong?

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  4. Happy IWSG Day!

    I can't imagine people not explaining to their kids how sex works, especially if they aren't into sex ed in the schools. That's a life skill, like cooking. Or a survival skill, like swimming. Humanity can't go on if people are getting the parts mixed up... I digress.

    Thanks for sharing your story. :D

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  5. Being a mom of three daughters and paying big bucks for the weddings, I can somewhat understand your mother.

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  6. LOL. There needs to be a middle ground. Some cultures are too strict, some too open. Basically, I think it comes down to parents making sure their children understand things on a level that's appropriate for them--whether that be having a discussion, handing them a book, etc. I really don't think the schools should be the ones doing the educating on this subject. Governments tend to get things wrong WAY too often.

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  7. Funny about that couple in China. And loved the story with your mom. I remember my mom bringing up the topic in my teens when we didn't get along well and I already knew about it. Glad you have a happier memory.

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  8. I never did have this conversation with my kids, boy or girl, but somehow, they figured it out. I think. Really, I'm not asking.

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  9. A month after I was married, I asked my mom why we never had "the talk" about sex. She smiled and said, "Well, do you have any questions?"

    My daughters didn't want to have that talk with me. I wasn't at all hesitant but they were embarrassed. Go figure.

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  10. Pat - Thanks for the lovely compliment!

    Debra - When I moved my mom out of her house, I found one last pack of Virginia Slims hidden in her drawer. She saved them as a memento when she quite smoking. Thanks Debra!


    Alex - I was surprised too. It was a very interesting article. Thanks for hosting another great IWSG, Alex!


    Toi - Yep, it is a lot like cooking and when done incorrectly people can get burned! Thanks Toi!


    Arleen - Glad you're on the same page! You always make me laugh, Arleen!


    Crystal - Maybe a happy medium between parents and schools would work best. I'll have to quiz my sons later. Thanks Crystal!


    Julie

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  11. Natalie - It was nice that your mom offered to talk to you. Sorry you went through a rough patch. Now she's lucky to have you taking such good care of her. Thanks Natalie!

    Jacqui - It might be fun to bring it up now, but do it in person so you can see their faces turn colors! Thanks Jacqui!

    Susan - Your mom knew you had it covered! Your daughters probably talk to you about everything now. I still have to carefully phrase my questions to get any information out of my boys. Thanks Susan!

    Julie

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  12. Oh my gosh...that article about the Chinese couple and how you wrote about it here...Too funny! That just made my week. LOL

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    1. Chrys - Your enthusiasm and kind words just made my week! Thank you so much!

      Julie

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  14. Hi Julie - oh how funny ... you and your Mama ... then as Chrys mentions that Chinese couple ... well I never! It takes people to make the world and stories to be told - yours are always so well described - cheers Hilary

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  15. Hi Hilary - I always enjoy reading your stories too! It's hard to imagine that people could be so uninformed in this day and age. Thanks Hilary!

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  16. I guess somebody in China is getting the sex education right. They definitely have the population to prove it.

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  17. So funny! Glad to hear the doctor was able to help out that young couple. Stories you tell about your mom always make me smile.

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