Tuesday, May 5, 2020

IWSG: Going To The Dogs on Mother's Day


                                                   


It's time for another edition of the  Insecure Writer's Support GroupBe sure to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh  and the rest of the talented bloggers who are always willing to lend a helping hand.


                      Going To The Dogs On Mother's Day
                                           
I woke up with a fright. My wildly overgrown hair looked like I spent a little too much time in the spin cycle, just days before I'd be reunited with my boys for a social distancing walk on Mother's Day.

Unfortunately, all hair and nail salons in Illinois will remain closed until at least the end of May, so I had to find an alternative plan. That's when I read that dog grooming services were now officially open. As I took a good hard look in the mirror at my unruly hair, pale blotchy skin, and overgrown toenails, I decided if it's good enough for the dogs...

I couldn't believe my eyes when I found a highly rated mobile dog grooming service specializing in elderly dogs that would come directly to our apartment building. I scrambled to make an appointment, and found a last minute cancellation.

When I was greeted by the Certified Canine Esthetician clad in a face mask, shield and gloves, she kept looking over my shoulder to see where my dog was. So I explained that I desperately needed her help, as I hadn't seen my boys on my birthday or Passover and was terrified of scaring them off on Mother's Day.

Upon closer examination, she yelled to the Portuguese Water Dog at the other end of the truck, "Sorry Ginger you'll have to wait. This gal clearly needs this more than you do."

First, she put me in a microbubble bath which is strong enough to remove skunk odors, but it was the reduced shedding factor that really sold me. Though we were six feet apart and separated by a clear shower curtain, I scrambled to get dressed, but I could've sworn I heard Ginger gag and giggle.

Next, the groomer brought out the shears to cut my hair. I tried to show her a pre-quarantine photo of when I resembled a human, but she wasn't interested. Then she told me to relax and offered me a cow ear chew to snack on. It wasn't bad.

Afterward, the groomer blowed-dry my hair, but there were no mirrors. As if reading my mind, she said, "You look gorgeous!"

When the groomer set out a water bowl with fresh lemons, I put my hand in to  soak for my manicure. But she quickly took it out of the bowl. "Bad girl! That water is for drinking not playing," she said in a stern voice.

After my shiny new manicure and pedicure, I grabbed my purse to pay the bill; however, the groomer commanded me to "stay" for one additional service. Then she gave me a squirt of minty mouth spray and a dental chew to freshen my breath.

Lastly, the groomer walked me over to a large mirror in the corner of the truck. Sure, I looked like a French Poodle, but I came in pale and pasty and walked out glowing with a shiny new coat.

I couldn't thank her enough and even splurged on a dog toy to reward Ginger for patiently waiting. Though she snarled at me, and tossed it into the microbubble bath, I think Ginger felt bad when it disintegrated before our eyes.

When I walked into our building, a flirty Bulldog kept following me around. At first I was flattered, until I realized that he most likely was attracted to my canine cologne.

Of course, my husband didn't say a word about my kennel clip, though he did compliment me on my minty fresh breath.

The next morning, I awoke refreshed and full of energy. But I couldn't figure out why I was curled up near my hubby at the foot of the bed with a rolled-up newspaper between my teeth.


Have a safe and Happy Mother's Day!


24 comments:

  1. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I got a notice that my hair dye is to be delivered this week. With fear and trepidation, I will take on a job that I have not done in years . Since there is some red in my color, I fear a Ronald McDonald look. My family has witnessed a few of my hair fails over the years so when they see me, they will be polite, but will probably add it to their repertoire of “mom stories”. Like you, I like to keep them entertained.

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  2. Too funny. At the moment, I am letting my hair grow out, in length and color. Not sure how I'll feel when we can leave home, but for now, I'm intrigued with the results.

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    1. Oh Liza, I just read your blog and I am so sorry about your husband. Your tributes were beautifully written and gave us a glimpse of the caring and fun-loving man you shared your life with for 35 plus years. My heart goes out to you and your daughter.

      Julie

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  3. That was funny! Yes, I am also in need of a haircut, which won't happen professionally until next month.

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  4. This is so funny. I was already in need of a haircut when we closed down in March. Now my hair is really long.

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    1. Me, too, Natalie. Sure wish I hadn't postponed my hair appointment.

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  5. That was hilarious! Thanks for sharing that. We all need a good chuckle.

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  6. Thank you for brightening my day with a good dose of humor. :)

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  7. Oh dear. When you go on your walkies to the park with your sons, will they have to "pick up" after you?

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  8. Arleen - I’m proud of you for being so adventurous with your hair color! I’m sure you will not look anything like Ronald McDonald, but please send photos if you do! Haha! Yes, I’m not surprised that your family can always count on your wonderful sense of humor. Thanks Arleen!

    Liza - My husband just set aside some of his less worn out hats for me as a back up, but I’m sure you’ll like your longer locks. Hope your hubby is feeling better. Thanks Liza!

    Alex - I can picture you jamming on your guitar with your hair blowing in the wind. Of course I’m only going by Mini Alex, so I’m doing the best I can! Thanks for hosting another great IWSG, Alex!

    Natalie - You have great hair, so it’s probably nice to see it long for a change. My hair grows horizontally and desperately needs to be tamed. Hope you and your family are doing well. Thanks Natalie!

    Julie

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  9. Chrys - Thank you so much! Yes, I’m always trying to read, watch and think about silly things. As writers, no matter how bad things get, we seldom have the excuse to complain about being bored. Take care, Chrys!

    Dixie - I really appreciate your kind words. Glad we share the same sense of humor. Thanks Dixie!

    Debra - Oh no, I hadn’t thought of that! I guess it all Depends, but it probably makes more sense to invest in some doggy diapers! Haha! You always crack me up, Debra! Thank you!

    Julie

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  10. Julie, thanks for the laughs with this post. Well done! I hope you have a nice Mother's Day!

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    1. Thanks Connie, and I hope you also have the best Mother’s Day possible during Covid-19! Take care of each other.

      Julie

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  11. Hi Julie - nearly late ... but that was so funny - you do have the greatest of imaginations ... oh how I wish I had hair!! But some do, some don't ... and I never had to worry - til recent years - when I rather hoped I have more ... ah well!! Great story ... stay safe - Hilary

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  12. That was too funny--and relatable. Our salons won't be open until June...maybe. I admire your solution. Not sure I'd like the treats, though. LOL Happy Mother's Day.

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  13. Dang, girl, you crack me up! (Thanks... I needed that...:) )

    Tell ya what, your writing skills just keep getting better and better all the time. This post is absolutely terrific. It should be in the newspaper, or something. (Do you still write that column for the local paper?)

    Here in GA, as you probably know, I could go to the hairdresser if I wanted to. Heck, I could even go out and get an "essential" tattoo... or massage! Instead, I opted to cut my own hair. OY! One thing I can tell ya: my hair-cutting skills haven't improved a lick since I did my first hair hatchet job at the age of four. Oh well. At least it isn't hanging in my eyes, anymore.

    Take care, sweet lady, and have a wonderful Mother's Day.

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  14. Hilary - You happen to look fabulous in a hat, so you have nothing to worry about. I envy you for being a get up and go gal who ceases the day, instead of wasting time on your hair like I do. Thank you so much, Hilary! Stay safe and healthy, my friend!

    Diane - Yes, you may want to stay clear of the doggy treats! See you at the beauty shop in June! Thanks Diane!

    Susan - I knew you'd stay away from the premature openings, but you might want to make an exception for the "essential tattoo!" I'm sure your hair looks better than you think it does. Mine gets more like the Bride of Frankenstein every day! Thanks, but I left the local news website in the fall of 2018. It actually worked out for the best, because it enabled me to spend more time with my mom during her final months. Hope you also have a fabulous Mother's Day! Please put your feet up and let your lovely family take care of you for a change. xo

    Julie

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    1. Hilary - I just realized I wrote ceases instead of seizes. Sorry about that. I really have gone to the dogs!

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  15. HiYa, GEM JULIE! ~

    I hope you're having a nice Mother's Day.

    My Ma has been gone since 2005, but whenever Mother's Day rolls around again, it reminds me of the time I bought something for my Ma in a department store. It's kinda funny that I no longer even remember what the gift was; I only remember the conversation I had with the woman at the gift wrapping counter.

    I told the lady that this item was a Mother's Day gift, and after looking at all the wrapping paper designs they had available in that department, I selected one that looked like a page of baseball boxscores from a newspaper.

    The lady said, "I thought you said this was a Mother's Day gift."
    Me: "It is. ...You gotta understand, my Mom isn't like most. She's very different."

    I later told that story to my Ma and she loved it. She loved the wrapping paper I selected, also. (She was a major baseball fan who had worked for The Dodgers years earlier.)

    And I loved your story about getting your hair done. If there's a will, there's a way. And when life hands you lemons... (you know the rest).

    >>... Sure, I looked like a French Poodle

    Ooh là là!

    >>... When I walked into our building, a flirty Bulldog kept following me around.

    That one made me GOL! (Guffaw-Out-Loud!)

    That line actually reminded me of a meme I created years ago:

    [Link> I've dated a lot of women...

    Julie, I'm pleased to see that these times we're dealing with have not diminished your sense of humor one iota.

    Happy Mom's Day to you!

    ~ D-FensDogG
    'STEPHEN T. McCARTHY REVIEWS...'

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  16. Stephen - It’s every kids’ dream to have a mom who worked for the Dodgers! No wonder she loved the wrapping paper. Your mom sounds like a wonderful, fun-loving woman, and I’m sure Mother’s Day is still a very emotional holiday for you. Thanks for your kind words. Take care, my friend!

    Julie

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  17. I have been waiting for you to write something about this critical topic. Happy you were a good girl and you didn't beg too much. i am concerned at I read nothing about flea control???

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    1. LC - No sign of fleas yet, but my husband doesn’t appreciate when I growl over the slightest things! Thanks for the lovely surprise, my friend!

      Julie

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  18. thank for sharing this humorous story...

    Happy mother day

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    1. Tanza - I really appreciate your kind words!

      Julie

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