Monday, September 19, 2011

Sneak Peek Packs Heat



When  Alex J. Cavanaugh  first came up with this idea, I thought that I would have no trouble creating a list. That was over a month ago, and now I feel like a student cramming for final exams. Though I love movies, I can't seem to remember very much about the ones that I disliked the most. The truth is, I could sit through pretty much anything if the popcorn is good.

My first job was at a concession stand at a movie theater when I was 15. My best friend was working as a cashier, and called me to come in for an interview. I said that I was 16, and after the manager asked me a few quick math problems, I was hired on the spot. The theater was packed as the Jeff Bridges and Jessica Lange version of King Kong had just come out for Christmas.

These were the days before calculators when you had to add up all the prices in your head, but I still managed to shovel in plenty of popcorn in between customers. Once after working a double shift complete with enough popcorn for lunch and dinner, my favorite usher took me aside to tell me that he could see his reflection in my nose.

After King Kong left the building, we were inundated with one bad movie after another. I can't remember all of the titles, but they were loosely based on classic children's stories with a twist. The first movie that comes to mind is Pinocchio,  but this version was rated X. Yes, the respectable family movie theater decided to try out some X-rated films. Of course my parents didn't mind that I was working there. A paycheck was a paycheck.



Some of the other pornographic fairy tales included Alice In Wonderland where Alice plays an innocent librarian  who meets up with a rabbit, and Goldilocks and The Three Bares.

Unfortunately, I had to remove the Alice and Goldilocks posters.  I wish that I could provide more information about these movies. I just remember the ushers making a special effort to sweep up the theater several times throughout these showings.

 I never actually sat through any of these films, as I was too busy minding the Junior Mints. But I did catch a glimpse of Pinocchio telling a lie, and quickly walked out when I realized his nose wasn't growing.


-Julie Kemp Pick

42 comments:

  1. Loved your choice, who'd had thought that innocent fairly tales could contain porno.

    Have a good day.
    Yvonne.

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  2. Thanks for sharing your experiences with bad movies....I like your blog voice, and your sense of humor when you say things like: "I just remember the ushers making a special effort to sweep up the theater several times during these movies." :)
    ------
    Join me at the Rule of Three Writers' Blogfest!

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  3. Lascivious fairy tales! LOL That is priceless. I can only imagine what was growing instead of Pinnochio's nose. Great to meet you in the blogfest! :)

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  4. Porn fairy tales! Now that's funny. Did you ever have to endure Flesh Gordon?
    Thanks for participating in the blogfest.

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  5. porno-tales... i have never seen or heard of these...
    :)
    jeremy
    twothumbseightfingers.blogspot.com

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  6. Porn fairy tales. My mind will be busy all day now.

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  7. Ha ha, I didn't know there were porn fairy tales, but I should have figured. The Pinocchio poster is hilarious LOL. Great story, and you made me hungry for movie popcorn, yum! :)

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  8. LOL!!! Oh my goodness- his nose wasn't growing! LOL

    That's too funny! I've never even heard about porn fairy tales! Learn something new everyday I guess...

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  9. @Yvonne - It was quite a surprise! Thanks Yvonne!

    @Damyanti - Thanks for the kind words and I appreciate you stopping by!

    @Melissa - Great to meet you too! "Lascivious" indeed! Thanks Melissa!

    @Alex - Thanks for hosting this wonderful blogfest! I remember hearing about Flesh Gordon!

    @Jeremy - Welcome and I'm glad that I'm able to shed some light on such an inspiring subject!

    @Julie F - Sorry to have dragged you down to the gutter!

    @Julie - Please keep Clancy away from such things! I'm always hungry for popcorn too! Thanks Julie!

    @Empty Nester - Nice to see you again! I wish I could educate you on a more worthwhile subject! Julie

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  10. Ewww. Porn + Fairy tales = nightmares, lol!

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  11. I'm definitely not seeing any of these. Definitely.

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  12. @Isis - I'm glad that you read this long before bedtime!

    @The Golden Eagle - A wise choice!

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  13. Hey Julie, did we work at the theatre together. I worked concession at the local theatre about the same time. Of course I don't remember any x rated movies. I remember ET. I posted my list too, completely different than yours :)

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  14. The "Three Bares"... oh, now that's hilarious! Sounds like some b-a-d movies.

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  15. lol I can only imagine Pinoccio. Definitely some bed time stories.

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  16. @Rhonda - I worked at the MG Theatre. You must've worked at our classy hometown theatre. I didn't realize that you were in the biz. Now we have even more in common!

    @Susan - There was a period when they would show a different quality film every week and the "regulars" came back whether it was rated G or X. When I was filling in for the cashier I pointed out the X rating to a frequent mother and son duo and she said "That's okay honey, he's 36!"

    @MPax - That film did have some amazing special effects! Thanks Mary!

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  17. OMG. I can just imagine. Lots of lies abounded, right? I can't believe they made that!

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  18. That's about as distasteful as it gets. Great, unique post for the blogfest, though.
    xoRobyn

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  19. The Erotic Adventures of Pinocchio - classic! Too funny.

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  20. @Lydia - Welcome and thanks for following me! I will do the same! I'm sure there were several, but I only lasted for one!

    @Robyn - It left a bad taste in my mouth too! That's why I washed it out with chocolate soap! Thanks Robyn!

    @Jennie - Thanks and nice to meet you through the blogfest! Julie

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  21. I was wondering when I'd come across an XXX rated blog LOL!

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  22. Wow! What a job for a 15 year old! Popcorn and porn!

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  23. Oh. My. God. this is hilarious and I'm surprised you weren't scarred for life!

    Dare to follow your heart

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  24. How scary what some people can do to something completely innocent. Probably better you were minding the junior mints.

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  25. Wow, what a great job - working in a movie house, I worked in a clothes store! But I don't think I would have been happy about the porn showings.

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  26. OMG! I never heard of these. Then again, I led a sheltered early life. I'm just wondering about Billy Goat Gruff and the troll under the bridge....

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  27. Oh, my. I'd really hate to have seen the part in that movie where Pinocchio became half a donkey. That IS one bad movie right there.

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  28. @Stephen - So glad that I was the class act who brought it to you!

    @Doralynn - The adult films didn't arrive until the spring or summer, shortly after I turned sweet 16! Popcorn and Porn would be a lovely title for my memoirs!

    @Samantha - Thanks for visiting me, and it's a good thing I walked out when I did!

    @Angela - I was in full survival mode!

    @Elaine - A clothing store would have been much safer!

    @Carol - That would have fit in perfectly with the theme!

    @Jeffrey - Fortunately, the ushers never discussed that scene with me. Just thinking about it now makes me shudder!

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  29. Goldilocks and the Three Bares? Oh no!!!

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  30. I always wanted to work at a cinema. And Junior Mints! You've just brought back so many memories.

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  31. @Susan - The title was probably better than the movie!

    @Talli - So glad you brought this post back to a G rating!

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  32. Oh my, porno fairy tales are a little extreme, but I'm not surprised. Loved your reminiscences. I would have loved to have worked in a movie theater.

    Lee
    Tossing It Out

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  33. Oh, that's so freaking bad! Made me giggle though.

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  34. @Lee - We did have lots of great times there! Thanks Lee!

    @Nancy - I hope you were able to see the posters for Alice and Goldilocks before they were mysteriously taken away. Now I'll have to find out about "hotlinking!" Thanks Nancy!

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  35. ROFL! I'll totally agree with you on the popcorn and the Junior Mints. Give me those any day. (Ever eaten movie theatre popcorn and Milk Duds at the same time? Yummy.)

    As for the movies you listed? I repeat. ROFL!

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  36. I've not taken part in this blogfest as [I hesitate to admit this to the world but...] I don't like going to the pictures and often get bored half way through even the best of films. Anyway there’s a brand new award waiting for you on my blog. It’s a ‘thank you’ type of award :-)

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  37. @Bryce - Another good combination is mixing Sno Caps into the popcorn! I haven't had Milk Duds in years, but I'll have to try them again before my next dental appointment! Thanks Bryce!

    @Rosalind - You're involved in so many different things that I don't know how you would even find the time to go to the movies!

    Thank you so much for this wonderful award, and I am honored that you are sharing it with me! Julie

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  38. Empty Nest, I have awarded you with the versatile blog award, come to www.christylasheasmith.com and check out Sunday 9/25 post to claim your prize!

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  39. LMAO noooo! I can't believe that people can think of such things... *shakes head in amazement*

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  40. Hi-ya, Julie. There's an award for you on my blog today. Should you choose to accept it, you have as much time as you wish to complete the mission. If you don't want the mission, eat this comment and no one will ever be the wiser.

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  41. @Christy - Thank you so much for this award! I really appreciate that you decided to share it with me!

    @Misha - I tried to block these movies out of my head, but Alex's blogfest unleashed them!

    @Susan - This is a lot like Mission Impossible with all of the work you had to put into it! Congratulations on receiving this award, and I really appreciate you passing it on to me. I also am very grateful that there is no expiration date! Thanks again Susan!

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