Just as the nurse asked me to step up on the scale, a panic swept over me. She saw me turning green and said, "But I haven't even told you how much you weigh yet." I told her that I had something very important to do, and would have to reschedule my appointment. Then the doctor walked in.
Doctor: Where do you think you're going?
Me: I just remembered that I have to write my Insecure Writer's Support Group post today.
Doctor: Well, given your medical history it seems you have much to be insecure about. Why don't you let me help you write it while I examine you?
Me: I suppose it's worth a shot.
Doctor: Oh, there will be plenty of those too (snort).
After careful examination of my chart, the doctor asked where I would like to start.
Me: The nurse never did tell me my height and weight.
Doctor: The good news is you lost a half of an inch, but you gained it in your waistline (knee slap).
Me: So I'm shrinking?
Doctor: That comes with age, but your weight is okay.
Me: So I guess I don't have to be insecure about that.
Doctor: Have you seen yourself naked lately?
Me: Oh, I forgot about that.
Doctor: That's another thing, your memory is starting to fade.
Me: Are you going to examine me or not?
Doctor: See what I mean? I've been examining you this whole time and you already forgot about it.
Me: Then why am I completely dressed, and you're wearing a gown?
(The nurse raced into the room, and quickly ushered the good doctor out.)
Nurse: Sorry, he's been trying to help people for so long, that he doesn't even realize he's not a doctor. He's such a dear man, that Mr. Cavanaugh.
Alex J. Cavanaugh is popping up everywhere. Be sure to visit the other talented writers who share their insecurities.