|Thanks to Delores at mybabyjohn|
Pia closed her eyes to picture a calm, and peaceful place. Instead she kept going down a long, narrow wooded path. She felt lost and alone though she heard a man's voice off into the distance.
His voice was getting louder, as she was breathing heavier attempting to pick up speed. The harder she tried, the faster he was gaining up on her. The crunching noises were getting louder and louder. At first she thought he was walking through leaves until she realized he was munching on junk food. Predators don't usually consume large quantities of pretzels and potato chips before they pounce on their victims. Besides, he was yelling out to her as if he knew her. Pia was anxious to get home, and didn't want to wait around to find out who this loud mouthed chomper was.
Just when she thought she had lost him, she heard another man and woman talking.
Man: This shouldn't take much longer, so we might make it home in time for the family barbecue. My wife is firing off the spit as we speak.
Woman: Won't she be surprised when you bring home the main course!
Man: Let's get the instruments ready, so we can move in for the push.
Horrific thoughts began racing through Pia's head. What if this cannibal couple ate "Cap'n Crunch" for an appetizer, and were after her for the main course? She had to get away from them fast. Suddenly, she was standing in front of a cast iron gate at the end of the path.
Then she heard that annoying voice yelling in between bites,"Push!" Was he giving her instructions from beyond? She felt sharp pains piercing through her body. Did they already start filleting her with their instruments? Maybe she was having a panic attack as they were gaining up on her. Her only hope was to push the gate open, but what was waiting for her on the other side? She pushed with all of her might, but she couldn't open it. Pia took another deep breath and tried again, but it wouldn't budge. Then without warning she heard her parents. As if the crazy cannibals weren't enough, now she had to deal with her parents. Once again she pushed the gate, and it miraculously opened.
She heard crying, but was relieved that it wasn't her own. Pia held out her arms, and opened her eyes as the nurse gave her their beautiful baby boy. Her husband hugged his lovely family, as he continued to chomp on his gum. A moment later her parents walked in carrying a large bag of barbecue beef ribs. Pia was so grateful that she signed up for the hypnosis class to ease in her delivery. As proud papa Beldar toasted with cleaning fluid, the Conehead's couldn't wait to start their new life with the newest member of their family unit.
|Thanks to Susan for sharing this adorable picture of her grandson at thecontemplativecat|