My husband is usually very patient and easy going. This changes when he gets behind the wheel of a car. Slow drivers, and people who dare to cut him off are the worst offenders. With constant name calling, and the overwhelming desire to prove who's "King of the Road," it was high time for me to devise a plan.
A new law should be enforced in which everyone has to have their cell phone number on their license plates. No more vanity plates saying how many kids you have, or the name of your favorite pet. Just the digits, so that any complaints about your driving will be directed toward you. Yes, a honk is simpler, but the idiot three cars ahead of you may be holding up the line of traffic. Every driver will be required to have a hands-free Bluetooth device to allow the safest possible vent system, "Not only are you weaving recklessly from lane to lane, but your car could use a wash, and I really don't care for your taste in music."
This is a much better approach than calling everyone a "putz" and using inappropriate hand gestures. Your passengers will thank you, and your fellow drivers will appreciate your efforts. Citizens will be busy patrolling each other freeing police officers from hiding out in the bushes with their radar guns.
This may also lead to unexpected friendships along the way:
"Bronco, what's the big idea cutting me off?"
"Sporty convertible, maybe I wouldn't have been so distracted if you were driving with a shirt on." All is resolved when they meet at a roadside cafe at the nearest exit.
Of course all of this polite and courteous conduct can still agitate some people. This may interfere with a driver's ability to shave or apply mascara.
A good idea about the cell phone number, in my part of England there is not much road rage luckily but when I used to travel with my late husband to London, I'll say nor more........
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
That last sentenced KILLED ME! Hyserical!
ReplyDeleteYvonne - It can happen to the best of them! Thanks Yvonne!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much Beverly!
Julie
I can relate! Yes, I am that same patient person until I get behind the wheel.
ReplyDeleteI like your idea - make it so. Would it be good manners to use moron and idiot?
I've often wished I drove the Batmobile....I could lob a grenade at some of them or drive by and slice their tires with my knife edged mags.
ReplyDeleteAlex - I can't imagine you ever becoming impatient. I guess you're human after all! Yes moron and idiot are perfectly acceptable, as long as they're said with a smile! Thanks Alex!
ReplyDeleteDelores - You would make a purr-fect Catwoman!
Julie
It would be great if the caller could say all those "nice" things with a smile in her voice. Otherwise it could be mayhem.
ReplyDeleteI was once riding in a car on US 30 in Illinois. A car passed us going really fast. The driver a young woman was using one hand to put on her make up and comb her hair. The other hand was guiding the car. I was amazed at how far she got safely and even more surprised to see her serving in the restaurant where we stopped.
LOL, this is a great idea. I love the conversation between the Bronco and the convertible. The beginning of a beautiful friendship. :D
ReplyDeleteOh, you're definitely onto something there, Julie. I think you've just outlined your next anger management/romance novel: Raging Love at a Roadside Cafe. :)
ReplyDeleteHi Julie,
ReplyDeleteBrilliant! Then a big motoring get-together at the roadside diner. I had road rage for quite some time in England. I was getting really annoyed with the drivers constantly heading towards me. What a bunch of idiots! Then I realised I was no longer in Canada and better change over to the other side of the road :)
Gary
Gary - It must have been confusing when you first started driving on the opposite side of the road. Glad your road rage has subsided, so you can concentrate on other things that upset you! Thanks Gary!
DeleteJulie
Yvonne - That's a great story, and I can't believe that she ended up working in the same restaurant!
ReplyDeleteJulie - A little romance always helps, as long as you pull over first! Thanks Julie!
Luanne - "Anger management/ romance novel? Nah, but it does sound like a great idea for a country/western song! You in Luanne?!
Julie
Atta girl. By George, I think you're onto something. Except I don't have (or want) a cell phone, so I reckon I'd have to stick with the old ways. Not that I EVER feel road rage, of course... Except for when somebody cuts in front of me and then drives twenty stinking miles an hour.
ReplyDeleteI think Luanne is onto something, too. Could be a best seller!
Susan - You could always roll down your window, and shout through a megaphone! I also like Luanne's idea, but we still need a great song to go with it! Thanks Susan!
DeleteJulie
My husband so enjoys critiquing all drivers on the road especially if they are woman. It is sometimes difficult being in the car with him. I think it is just a male thing.
ReplyDeleteI've always thought it would be a good idea to have some sort of LED sign on your rear bumper (yes, that's a perfectly good double entendre. Have fun with it). It could display certain messages like "Jackass," "Road Hog," or "Numbskull."
ReplyDeleteAlthough, in today's day and age, you may want it to display "Please Don't Shoot," "Please Call Police," or "Please Tell Me How to Get Out of Sanford."
Susan - Sounds like our husbands would get along just fine! I always try to stick up for the women drivers especially if they drive like I do.
ReplyDeleteAl - Sad but true. Although I did have loads of fun with your double entendre!
Julie
I think there should be a point and click type device, like a non-laser pointer where you could just, well, point and click and it would connect your phone to theirs.
ReplyDeleteOh don't get me started on road rage. Why does such a large mechanical object cause the calmest of people to lose the plot? Beats me. Maybe it's pent-up anger from being so nice all the time, ha ha ha.
ReplyDeleteYes, we need new laws for sure. Maybe have a sensor inside the car, so everytime the driver swears, raises their voice or does a hand gesture the gas is turned off and the car comes to a stop for 15 minutes. They'll soon get the message and keep it calm, ha ha ha.
We experience that in Florida too. I liked New Hampshire, where I would drive an hour to work in the morning and see only an occasional moose.
ReplyDeleteThere is plenty of that going around these days for sure. Today I followed a young male drive down a residential street - marked 25 mph - he was weaving back and forth and crossed the center line several times. He was doing 45 at least. I was so tempted to beep the horn at him, but then I thought better of it. You never know these days what the other person will do - do they have a gun or what?
ReplyDeleteCalifornia is the same. I once saw a young man practicing his violin! while driving with his knees! and turning a corner. I was not quick enough with my phone camera.
ReplyDeleteCarol - I love your "point and click" idea! I think it would come in handy on many occasions!
ReplyDeleteRum-Punch Drunk - I could just imagine what would happen in our car. Since I'm usually late to begin with, we would lose even more time, and probably end up in the ER! It would be a great device to install in young drivers cars to nip road rage in the bud!
JJ - As long as the moose isn't charging toward you, it's a good thing!
Mary - It is a shame that we have to worry about honking our horns, but you never know what may provoke another driver. It would be great if you could send Carol's "point and click" idea directly over to the nearest police station, and have them deal with reckless drivers.
Susan - Wow!!! Could you imagine if he collided with a piano truck?!
Julie
Julie you are a scream!
ReplyDeleteI liked the bit about "no more vanity plates..." and yes, who knows what unexpected friendships could arise from this...
You may just be onto something here... LOL
When you have a moment, please pop over to my place, I have something for you... mwah!
Writer In Transit
Thanks so much for the wonderful award Michelle! You are incredibly thoughtful! I'm sending a big mwah right back to you, plus an extra one for your birthday!
DeleteJulie
There are definitely some crazy and inconsiderate drivers out there. Lately I've run into a few. Well, not literally run into them, but one idiot did run into my parked car and it's caused me a bit of inconvenience of late.
ReplyDeleteLee
Tossing It Out
The summer heat brings them out in droves. I'm especially careful during commute in the afternoon. Yikes! Some very nasty gestures and horn honking going on.
ReplyDeleteLee - Sorry that someone ran into your car. Thank goodness that no one was hurt, but it's still a huge imposition.
ReplyDeleteC. Lee - This really makes me appreciate public transportation. Sometimes the most impatient drivers are over 80, which makes it more difficult to return "nasty gestures!"
Julie
Interesting idea, Julie. I can see some of the pros and cons in this.
ReplyDeleteI've always wondered if there was a way we could text message or message other cars while on the road. Just let them know they are kind of jerky OR that they are awesome for letting you into traffic. :)
ReplyDeleteSuzanne - There are a lot more "cons," but it was fun to think about!
ReplyDeleteLibby - I wish that there were more drivers who would let me in without a fight. The worst are the big trucks who cut me off when I'm about to merge on the highway.
Julie
LOL - thanks for the giggles, but I am going to disagree. I think half the fun (or really all the fun) is actually all the bad things I get to say about the other driver because I know he can't hear.
ReplyDelete