Thursday, October 13, 2011

Grooming Gone Too Far

                                                                                                Julie Kemp Pick

Megan Barnes  (WFOR/Monroe County Sheriff's Office )
Did you hear the one about the woman who caused a car accident, because she was shaving her privates while she was driving? This really happened in Florida last year when Megan Barnes was getting ready for a date with another man. Author Celia Rivenbark wrote, " There are so many "You might be a redneck if'" elements to the story, but my favorite is that, while performing this extremely personal grooming ritual, she asked her EX HUSBAND to steer the car so she could concentrate."
Her ex also moved into the driver's seat when the police arrived to try to take the blame, but he had burn marks from the impact of the passenger side airbag. The Highway Patrol noted that just one day earlier Ms. Barnes had been convicted of DUI and driving with a suspended license. Ms. Rivenbark added, "Oh, and her car had been seized and had no insurance or registration. Oh, and she was on probation. Oh, and SHE'S A FLIPPIN' LUNATIC! Albeit an impeccably groomed one."

Since this article was originally written in March of 2010, I tried to find out what happened to Megan Barnes, and her loyal to a fault ex husband. I wondered if  she ever made it to her very important date, and what became of the pickup truck that she plowed into from behind.

Unfortunately, the only lead I found was on a Facebook page entitled, "Megan Mariah Barnes should not have to spend a single day in jail and." The only message posted had absolutely nothing to do with the subject, and left me dangling along with the word "and."

None of the 2010 reports that I read mentioned that she was shaving under the influence, so I do feel that she had one leg up on the dashboard, I mean case. It never mentioned where her parents were during the incident, and if they ever advised the 37 year old  to remember skirt down, buckle up when operating a vehicle.

This is an important lesson for all of us. As parents it is our job to leave no stone unturned. With  electronic media virtually raising our children, each day there are more incidents illustrating how common sense is becomming obsolete. With everyone rushing to make a good impression, more accidents are bound to occur. Cars may soon have built-in metal detectors, so that ignitions will not start if a razor, scissors, or tweezers enter the vehicle. As manscaping is on the rise, sons are not immune to this impulse.

The next time you tuck your children in at night, hold them close and whisper quietly in their ear. That way they'll think they learned the hazards of shaving while driving in a dream, and you'll be able to make eye contact again.


  1. Wow a most disturbing post. never heard of anyone doing that before and I pray no one follows her example.

    Thankd for the visit, I think people are under a misconception about my loneliness. I meet with my daughter once a week, walk along the beach morning and night do my housework and write. As for neighbours I live in a large house which is converted into five apartments the other four families are working people.
    My life long friends live some fifty miles away, Even though I am busy it is when my apartment door is shut and there is no one,
    I always have music playing or TV on after 13 years it's getting to me. I'm not allowed pets where I live so that is out of the question.
    I am not a negative person who is feeling sorry for myself just lonely when I shut the door behind me.

    Have a nice day.

  2. Wow. Just when I think I've heard it all...LOL

  3. Yikes! I'm just thinking of the damage factor if you hit a pothole.

  4. I wonder if she was also texting at the time?

  5. Maybe she misread an article about grooming pubic hair, and thought it said something about "public?" What a nut job.

  6. I can think of so many reasons that is wrong, not the least of which is potentially slicing off something important if you hit the brakes too hard. And was this dry shaving? Oh, the ingrown hairs!

  7. @Yvonne - Sounds like you follow a wonderful routine!

    @Empty Nester - At first I had a hard time believing this was a true story!

    @mybabyjohn/Delores - In that situation, an electric razor would have been much safer!

    @Alex - Well she did have a free hand!

    @Susan - I think you might be on to something!

    @Julie - One of the articles mentioned that it was a good thing she wasn't waxing and throwing the strips out the window!

  8. I have to add another wow. It's bad enough to get caught doing something like that, worse that it went national. I used to see ladies putting on mascara when commuting to work in the DC area. Men shaving. I think I filled out grad school applications on the way home one night. No traffic around here, so I actually have to drive.

  9. Your editorial comments are priceless, Julie. I love the "one leg up on the dashboard...skirt down, buckle up." I wonder if her loyal ex is the one who wrote that unfinished facebook blurb. It's all frighteningly strange.

  10. @Mary - It's amazing what we got away with when we were younger! At least she got her fifteen minutes of fame!

    @Robyn - Good point about her ex! I'm sure he's appeared in some of the interesting ads you've written about! Thanks Robyn, I almost nicked this story, but then I remembered that a blade in the hand is worth two in the...

  11. I can hear Dr Phil saying, "What was she thinking?"

    I guess the real question question was did she have clean underwear. I don't guess she would have been wearing any at the time, but at least she'd have it to slip into.

    Tossing It Out

  12. Man, you just cannot make this stuff up. Talk about stranger than fiction! Saving while driving. Unbelievable!

    Anyway, Julie, thanks so much for dropping by earlier this week and commenting and sorry it's taken me so long to return the favor. Great post! Disturbing, but great.

  13. Ha ha ha, I don't remember hearing about this case when it happened. Classic!! So funny, and I love your editorial comments. I think the loyal ex-husband steering the car is my favorite part of the whole business LOL, what the heck??

    I do wish you had been able to find out what happened to Ms. Barnes, it's too bad we will probably never know LOL.

  14. @Lee - Something tells me that she doesn't let a thing like underwear stand in her way. This is a good case for Dr. Phil!

    @Nancy - No apologies necessary as we all lead busy lives. Thanks for being so thoughtful!

    @Julie - I'll let you know if anything new turns up. In the meantime, someone is probably trying to do something even more outrageous to make headlines! Thanks Julie

  15. Following your advice, I just hugged my 11 year old and reminded her not to shave her legs whilst driving. She simply replied, "ok mummy."

  16. OH. MY. GOODNESS. Shaving privates whilst driving a car? That's just... unfathomable.

  17. @Rhonda - You are a wonderful mom, and I applaud you for instilling these life lessons at an early age! I am confident that your daughters will turn out just fine!

    @Talli - As unfathomable as it may be, we just have to be grateful that no one got seriously hurt. Thanks for giving me an excellent A-Z idea for the letter U!

  18. WHAT.

    I don't want my daughter to grow up. Ever.
    But in the event that she does, she either won't be allowed to shave or will be forbidden to ever get a driver's license.

  19. In addition to Delores's pothole..... also add the possibility of getting rear-ended. :)

  20. @Caitlin - Some people might think that you're going a bit too far, but while they're tossing and turning at night, you and your daughter will be sleeping like babies! Thanks for making our world a safer place, and making me laugh along the way!

    @Manzanita - Thanks for coming up with a winning combination! You really did a bang up job Manzie!

  21. Very funny! Or tragic! Her grooming doesn't look too impeccable in her mug shot - what happened? As to shaving privates whilst driving, aside from all the other obvious reasons not to, I wouldn't have the coordination... although apparently she didn't either :)

  22. Not the tweezers! The rear-view mirror is the best mirror for plucking eyebrows.

  23. @Lola - Thanks for visiting and I will head over to your blog!

    @Susanna - I think she starts at the bottom and works her way up! Yes it does take coordination, but hopefully this will never turn into a competitive sport!

    @MP - You are absolutely right; hence tweezers will be allowed only when the car is in a parked position. Friends don't let friends drive plucked.

  24. OMG! Now all I can think of is shaving privates while driving as a competitive sport!

  25. Hahaha! I have actually read about this one before, but the article was dry and boring, not like your take at all. I'll be sure to text my children while they're driving to remind them not to do their landscaping in the driver's seat. Better to be the passenger while trimming the runway. ;-p

  26. @Susanna - Do you think if we threw some sheep in the mix, we could turn this into a children's book? We would have to come up with a creative way to pull the wool over their eyes, but it would be shear genius!

    @Shannon - Thanks Shannon, but Celia Rivenbark's article was laugh out loud funny! The texting idea is a great one, and it is best "not to do their landscaping in the driver's seat!"

    I'm so glad that everyone joined in on the fun with this story!

  27. HEY THERE,

  28. Unbelievable! Actually the story is too crazy to be made up.


  29. @Eve - Thanks you so much for the wonderful award! It was so nice of you to think of me!

    @Joyce - I thought that it was a joke at first too, but it really happened. This would have made a great skit on SNL!

  30. I learned a long time ago the value of subliminal messaging on raising kids. Just whisper in their ears while they sleep, and they have the brightest ideas the next day.

  31. Yet another example of the truth being stranger than fiction. It might not be so outlandish but I'm really fed up of driving past men who are talking on their mobile/cell phones while driving... and yes, it is usually men!

  32. Holy cow & I thought it was terrible when I put makeup on while driving. This woman take grooming while driving to a dangerous new level. I love your blog.

  33. @Mike - Does it work on husbands too? Thanks for stopping by Mike!

    @Melissa - I hope you don't wear false eyelashes! Thanks for following me Melissa, and I look forward to seeing more of you!

    @Word Nerd - Well said!

  34. There are people out there that think the car has the brain-lol!

    That's a new one- however, I don't find it hard to believe. When I'm out there driving - I shake my head all the time and ask- how

    You know- we can only hope that our children take our advice and see us as their role models. Most children do- it simple depends on what the model is that your showing them.

    All I can say is when your out there driving be conscious of yourself, your passengers and everybody else. You can only control you- no one else.

    Thanks for the story!!