Under Cover in the Ladies Room

(FARK.com)



                                                               

Last weekend my husband and I went to dinner and a movie. After he selected our perfectly centered seats, I proceeded to the ladies room. After playing Goldilocks until I found a proper stall with a working lock, and flowing toilet paper, I couldn't believe what lay ahead.

Though there were four sinks, there were only two soap dispensers lined up on each end. The soap dispenser on the left was empty, so I waited until the other one was free. While I was putting on my lipstick, I couldn't help but notice that women were continuing to use the empty dispenser on the left.

I couldn't believe my eyes as several different women of all ages were pretending to wash their hands with soap. During this time, I was rummaging through my purse looking for my makeup mirror, so as not to attract attention. I had to bite my tongue not to scream out, "There's soap in the other dispenser just a few steps away you idiots!" Finally, one woman actually walked over to the other end and soaped up like a surgeon.

I wanted to hug her and tell her about all of the other lazy unhygienic women. Though she was probably in her seventies, we were kindred spirits in cleanliness. I had so much I wanted to ask her, and I thought we could talk for hours about our cleaning rituals. Sadly, she left and I don't know if I will ever see those sparkling clean hands again.

This made me think of a conversation I had a few weeks earlier with my childhood friend. We both had coughs and colds around the same time. I don't know where I caught mine, but her husband coughed on her  and she was sick for a month; while he recovered the next day. My cough lasted about a few weeks, and I was worried that my husband would get sick. Fortunately, he was fine.

Thereafter, I surmised that our husbands' immune systems were stronger, because they grew up in normal households that had healthy amounts of dirt in them. Whereas, my friend and I both grew up in homes where you could eat off of the floors.

We both strived to make our homes as clean as the environments we were raised in, and coincidentally we each have children that either have horrible allergies or asthma. Maybe the women who didn't wash their hands with soap will live to be one hundred. I'm just glad that I didn't have to share my popcorn with them.