Recently, a man was arrested in Florida for calling 911 during an argument with his wife about not giving him enough privacy on Facebook. According to the police deputy, "the husband called 911, because he was upset about his wife sitting next to him and not going to sleep after he gave her eight beers."
The wife told the deputy she "didn't feel like sitting anywhere else" in her mobile home. The deputy added, "He wanted me to make his wife not sit next to him and go to bed like she was supposed to." The Tampa Bay Times also reported that the husband was arrested for "misuse of 911" and sentenced to sixty days in jail.
While searching for other incidents of idiocy, I came across an excerpt from Dr. Orrange's 8 Crazy Stories From The ER:
A morbidly obese man came into the ER with a large abdominal pannus (hanging flap of tissue), exhibiting irritated skin around the abdomen. During the exam, I lifted the pannus and a turkey sandwich fell from between his folds. The man said it was about a month old, which the smell confirmed.
This next case was found under the "retained objects" category:
A patient came in with a very simple case: a toilet scrubber had become lodged in his rectum. Curiously, he wasn't sure how it got there.
These incidents could have been avoided if the wife pulled up a possum to sit on, and the obese man defrosted his walking refrigerator. The toilet scrubber accident could have happened to anyone.
As Albert Einstein once said, "Only two things in life are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."