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As we were going through her long list of disappointments, my mom mentioned that I never gave her a granddaughter. Though she loves both of her grandsons dearly, she regrets I didn't also have a daughter.
When I tried to explain there was no guarantee my third child would've been a girl, she stopped me in my tracks. "Shirley Temple's mother wanted a little girl, and she knew exactly what to do to have one."
"What did Mrs.Temple do?"
"She went to a doctor who told her if she wanted an adorable little girl who could sing, dance, and be one of the biggest stars in the world, her husband would have to get his tonsils out."
"And did he?"
"Of course he did. Not only was Shirley Temple a huge child star, but she went on to become an ambassador."
I immediately searched the Internet, and found a 1988 excerpt from Shirley Temple Black's autobiography Child Star in People Magazine. The energetic sixty-year-old wrote how her father had a tonsillectomy to "improve his chances of siring a female," after his two older sons were born. Apparently, my mom sat in on a guest speaker highlighting Shirley Temple Black's life.
Later, I asked my husband if he would've had his tonsils removed if we were assured of having a daughter. He reminded me of when he originally went in to have a tonsillectomy in fifth grade. He ended up spending several days in the hospital, and went home without having the procedure. I asked him if his parents visited him at all during that time, why he didn't have the tonsillectomy, and if he even got to have ice-cream? He answered "yes" to the ice-cream question.
I told my mom she could look forward to having granddaughter-in-laws, and great granddaughters. Cheerfully she remarked, "I won't live long enough to have a conversation with my great granddaughters."
Then I started thinking about what my relationships would be like with my future daughters-in-law. I remembered how it took a long time for me to grow on my mother-in-law. Fortunately, she started to like me after she turned ninety.
Wow who would have thought that there was a correlation between having a tonsillectomy and an increased likelihood of having a daughter?
ReplyDeleteI wasn't taking any chances we'd end up with a boy. Or a a girl.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how much scientific fact there is to back that theory up?
I'm wiping the tears from eyes from laughing. I don't think it works for everyone. We have 4 daughters. The man has his tonsils to this day. I do not. LOL
ReplyDeleteWell there you are, somebody has to lose their tonsils.
DeleteWhaaaat? How funny. And I only have the one son. I do wonder some days how I'll get along with a future daughter-in-law. I'll try to be nice, but you know, it's tough sometimes. :P
ReplyDeleteWell there you go...the hubs has no tonsils and we have one female child. The hubs brother in law kept his tonsils and had three male children. Who knew??
ReplyDeleteI've also heard that if you have your testicles removed, your wife will give birth to a Republican.
ReplyDeleteNOTE: This joke would work on any number of targets (i.e., you could say "Hollywood celebrity," Democrat, Chaz Bono, Speaker of the House, Richard Simmons, etc.).
In other words, it's a cheap shot.
BTW, I still have my tonsils and I have a daughter.
Also, my father kept his "boys." And I'm a Republican.
So...
I know. That's just nuts, huh?
If you have your bed with the head facing north that might work just as well. The problem is I can't remember if it is supposed to produce boys or girls. I knew an MD once who would tell his patients the sex her child would be and then write the opposite on his calendar. When the baby came, he was always right.
ReplyDeleteMatt had girls and as far as I know he has his tonsils. As does his ex wife.
ReplyDeleteLol, wow! That's funny. I'm not really looking forward to being a grandmother, so I'd be okay with whatever my children decide to do. Funny how that may change as I grow older.
ReplyDeleteHilarious! My parents both had their tonsils and produced daughters only.
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't expect your husband to have a tonsillectomy just to sire a female child. Not when there are easier methods involving soaking the nutsack in lemon juice. We have both mentioned Shirley Temple in our current posts - it is a portent from the gods.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it is with a boy's wife and his mother... but now that you have mentioned this phenomena I started thinking about it. For whatever reason, that relationship seems very hard to cultivate. Sounds like you wore your MIL down though.
ReplyDeletethat is funny. . so many old wives tales in regards to baby making.
ReplyDeleteHa ha, you have made me laugh today. Yes, the mother-in-law / daughter-in-law relationship quite often isn't the best. I do know of a few cases where it has been very endearing and loving tho.
ReplyDelete90? Yikes! Thankfully my mother in law came around after my oldest was born. You know, I'm a 5th child and the first girl. That's right. And my brother has 5 boys and finally got his little girl. I think there may be some genetics at play here. =)
ReplyDeleteHA! Another winner, Julie.
ReplyDeleteMy hubby still has his tonsils, and we have a daughter. Unfortunately, she can't dance or sing very well, though. (Hmmm, shall we blame that on the tonsils?)
Why didn't he have the tonsillectomy? Did his parents visit him? I want details. The Hurricane will be 28 tomorrow. When I got pregnant I said I wanted a boy because the first time I said I wanted a girl and I had a boy. I also wore a lot of pink the second time. It worked.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
I forgot to say that my mother-in-law was about 75 when she started to be nice to me. It was when her darling son left me. She has been very generous and kind to me since I became the former daughter-in-law. I asked her what the new daughter-in-law is like and she said, Passive. I think the new DIL makes her appreciate me.
DeleteHahaha! Well, that's one I've never heard before. Thanks for making me smile! :)
ReplyDelete" Fortunately, she started to like me after she turned ninety." LOL!! Fun post !!
ReplyDeleteKeith - The doctor had a 50% chance of being right, and he came through for them! Talk about luck!
ReplyDeleteAlex - I couldn't find any scientific evidence on the Internet. I'm glad you always make time to support your extended blogging family! We still don't know how you do it!
Empty Nester - Jo hit the nail on the head! Sorry you had to make all the sacrifices in the family!
Luanne - Who are you trying to kid? You'll have your daughter-in-law eating out of your hand in no time!
Delores - Now you know! Glad my mom could be of help Delores! Ha ha!
Al - That is nuts, but I wouldn't expect anything less from you! Thanks for the target practice!
Yvonne - Sounds like another lucky MD! Thanks for the tips, Yvonne!
Jo - I hope his daughters appreciate all of your good cooking!
Miranda - I'm sure you'll look forward to being a grandmother when you get older! That's when all the payback begins!
Carol - They must have made other sacrifices instead. We're they missing any teeth?
Gorilla - Yes, there is nothing like a good soak. Is it that great minds think alike, or I'm turning into a gorilla?!
Robin - Well, I would've put it in a nicer way, but the result is the same.
Joanne - So true about "wives tales!" Thanks Joanne!
Julie
Mary - "Endearing and loving" relationships are the best! They're definitely worth waiting for.
ReplyDeleteCrystal - There are most certainly "genetics at play." I don't think I would've had the strength to wait after four or five kids. Your parents were very lucky to have you!
Susan - So your daughter can't sing for her supper. I know she has many other wonderful qualities, and hasn't she given you beautiful grand-babies? Tonsils shmonsils, you're the winner, Susan!
JJ - I'll have to slip him some sodium pentothal! Wish your daughter happy birthday for me! I'm sorry your MIL didn't appreciate you sooner, but now she knows what she's missing. It also shows how she respects you as a mother.
Daisy - I'm glad it made you smile. Thanks Daisy!
Ava - I had fun writing it too! Thanks Ava!
Julie
Wow, I'd never heard that about the tonsils before. I can't imagine too many people would be willing to have tonsils removed on the chance they might have a baby girl.
ReplyDeleteI have three girls and a boy. My husband has his tonsils but lost his mind.
ReplyDeleteI never had any kids, my mom didn't complain, but I know she wished I had lived a more "normal" life close to home, not half-way across the world. I wonder what your mother would have said if your husband had indeed had his tonsils out as a kid.
ReplyDeleteSusanne - You're right, and the key word is "chance!"
ReplyDeleteArleen - You always come up with the best lines! Your children are very lucky to have you!
Inger - I'm sure your mom appreciated your independence, and sense of adventure. Everyone has their own definition of "normal," and has to do what's best for them. I would've been blamed even more if we didn't try for a girl if my hubby had a tonsillectomy as a boy.
Julie
This is so funny.
ReplyDeletewww.modernworld4.blogspot.com
The ending is priceless. I laughed out loud. So well written. You are a true and marvelous humorist.
ReplyDeleteGina - Thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteAnn - I can't thank you enough for your wonderful compliment! It really means a lot coming from such a talented writer. Thanks again Ann!
Julie
Oh Julie! You are too funny!
ReplyDelete90? Holy smokes!
I'm fortunate in that I got on with my mother-in-law from day 1.
Well, my hubby did warn his family that they had NO OPTION but to accept me... or risk the consequences... he played hard ball - and won!
Hi, I'm also an empty nester. I'm glad I stumbled across your blog today. That post was hilarious... :)
ReplyDeleteMichelle - Your husband sounds like a very wise man! He knew how fortunate he was to have found you, so he laid down the law! Thanks Michelle!
ReplyDeleteDee - It's great to meet you, and thanks for the kind words!
Julie
Good heavens above Julie - what an incredible story .. oh your MIL sounds amazing - but I can imagine the tough times you had ... thank goodness for hubby - and now you can happily tell all the stories .. such fun - cheers Hilary
ReplyDeleteDidn't know that little tidbit of information - thanks Julie!
ReplyDeleteHilary - After my mom becomes a star, then we can work on my MIL's fifteen minutes of fame! Thanks so much, Hilary!
ReplyDeleteSarah - I'm surprised your mum didn't cover that chapter in homeschool.! Thanks Sarah!
Julie
The last line totally cracked me up. I have a feeling it's not true at all!
ReplyDeleteI also had never heard the tonsillectomy story. Of all the crazy things LOL.
Uh oh, when I have kids I don't know if I want a girl. I think I'm gonna find my doctor from 25 years ago and make him put my tonsils back in.
ReplyDeleteJulie - Oh, but it is! The tonsillectomy story also struck me funny! At least the painful surgery was worth it for Mr. Temple! Thanks Julie!
ReplyDeleteB & B - I think you should take your chances. Either way you'll be able to take credit for it. I'm sure your wife will appreciate your supreme sacrifice!
Julie
Hi, Julie,
ReplyDeleteInteresting bit of information here.... Sorry to hear you mom giving you a hard time. At least you gave her grandchildren. My parents had three boys. My mom wanted a girl desperately... so looked forward to the granddaughter the minute we all made it to our twenties.... Well sadly my parents had no grandchildren. So tell your mom that!
I feel guilty sometimes, but that's life. Full of joys AND disappointments.
Michael - There's no need to feel guilty, as I'm sure you were a wonderful son. I'm also sure that your parents would be very proud of you. I'm sorry that you lost them both so young.
DeleteJulie