Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Whoever Said That Brothers Don't Know Squat About Gift Giving?


Last weekend we had a small 4th of July gathering with family and friends. When my brother arrived, he quickly dropped something off in the guest bedroom behind the kitchen. Then he told me to look at it privately when I had a chance. At the time, I was busy scrambling all of the side dishes together, while my husband was manning the grill. I couldn't imagine what he had brought, but I thanked him as my mom was being carried through our garage landing like Cleopatra.

After dinner, we cleared off the table, and started putting everything away. We were trying to decide if anyone wanted to walk over to see the fireworks, when I noticed that a few of our guests were missing. I found my friend, and my mom's caregiver texting from across the kitchen table. At first, I was wondering if they were texting each other, "Can you believe that Julie doesn't know from good wine? Of course, I had to bring my own bottle to be polite."

Then I was wondering if they were texting for help, "I'm so bored. If you won't come pick me up, could you at least give me a creative excuse to leave?" Before I could snatch their phones, my brother asked if I had opened up his present.

I took a quick peek, and brought it into the the dining room for everyone to see. Never before had I heard so many oohs, and aahs. My brother had bought us a Squatty Potty for our anniversary.



The Squatty Potty slides easily under your toilet allowing you to squat like our ancestors did, so that you can "poop like a pro." Our dear friend immediately ran into our powder room to demonstrate the product for us, but since we have so few dear friends, this model will have to suffice.

This was just the icebreaker our party needed to really loosen things up. Flushed with excitement, we were on a roll. The next minute it was as if we were shooting our own Squatty Potty infomercial. One guest chimed in with how the Squatty Potty helped prevent hemorrhoids, while another said that she heard it got the job done toot sweet. Then my mom inquired, "Do you have to have the urge to go before you use it?"

A moment later we noticed that the Squatty Potty was missing. Then our smiling son returned with the portable step stool in tow. You could've heard a pin drop when he proudly announced, "It works."


32 comments:

  1. Hahah! Yep, that gift is definitely a great ice breaker.

    ReplyDelete
  2. O.M.G. what WILL they try to sell us next?

    ReplyDelete
  3. this is funny. Nothing like a new family story

    ReplyDelete
  4. That little stool could make people feel young. In China they were starting to put western toilets in public restrooms in the country side about five years ago.I wish i coud laugh.l

    ReplyDelete
  5. I know all about the squatty potty! It enables upright humans to defecate without constricting the rectum at a tight angle, thereby allowing an easier (and more enjoyable) evacuation of the bowels. You're going to find out why pooping is such a quick, unfussy activity for apes and four-legged mammals!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I never knew I was doing it wrong.

    I love the visual in my head of your mother being carried through the garage like Cleopatra.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Murees - At least it got them to turn their phones off!

    Delores - It's actually a pretty good concept; a less strain more gain kind of thing!

    Joanne - The gift struck me funny too! Thanks Joanne!

    Alex - Thanks so much, Alex!

    Yvonne - This is not dissimilar to what they've been doing on the side of the road in countries like China for years!

    Natalie - And the product is fun for the whole family too! Thanks Natalie!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gorilla - Of course you would be an expert on the subject! We should've followed your lead ages ago!

    Arleen - There are two steep steps leading to the laundry room from the garage. Since my mom fell last week, she had to be carried in on her wheelchair. It was a group effort. Thanks Arleen, and please follow Gorilla's tips for success!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love this! Seriously! LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  10. What a concept. It's always the simple things :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. HA! Love it. Thanks for the chuckles. (Looks like a pretty nifty gizmo to me!)

    ReplyDelete
  12. I wonder if I can sell someone a hole in the floor? I mean, if you want to go back to the good old days of squatting like the ancestors... LOL. I gotta get one of those for my brother for Christmas. :D

    ReplyDelete
  13. We've been thinking of buying one of these for a while now. We started using an old step stool and have had some decent "results" with it.

    I mean, who's to say it -doesn't- work? :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Shelly - Thank you!

    Carol - You are so right!

    Susan - An old stool would probably work the same way, though this conveniently slides under the toilet. Thanks Susan!

    Luanne - There's absolutely nothing wrong with that! I wonder what would be the going rate for that luxury item!

    Mark - I'm glad that the step stool produced results! Keep up the good work!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  15. Love it. These tall toilets which are being introduced lately, I should say re-introduced, we had them when I was young, are not a good idea at all.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Where have I been hiding? I've never heard about the revolution called Squatty Potty.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Jo - I think the Squatty Potty could still be used with the taller toilets. Some of the shorter toilets cause more strain on the back. They really should create an adjustable one that fits everyone's needs.

    Lee - I just found out about it myself. You can tell everyone that you heard about the newest rage here!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  18. Squat like our ancestors did....
    As long as you never get a "Mauled By A Saber Tooth Tiger" like our ancestors did, too, everything's cool.
    I'd like to be carried like Cleopatra into family gatherings, too, eventually. Only without the asp biting me on the booby.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I've actually looked at them online after reading an article on them. They supposedly help quite well with the elimination process.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Julie, I'm flushed by giggles and nearly peeing in my granny panties. You MUST compile your family stories into a humor book. They are outrageous and this one is free flowing with hilarity!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Al - Wait a minute, aren't you usually carried out on your asp at family gatherings?!

    Suzanne - It helps so much that we might have to get a spare!

    Robyn - I would love to put my silly stories into a book. Thanks for your generous compliment. It really means a lot, Robyn! Oh, and your puns were an added bonus!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  22. It's not just your ancestors, we used squat toilets in China, Malaysia, Morocco and the middle east. Sounds like a great product.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Hahaha! I've heard of these, but have never tried one. It certainly makes for a unique gift!

    ReplyDelete
  24. My ancestors also slept in the dirt and were lucky to live past 30. I don't think I really want to take their advice on bathroom care.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Rhonda - I remember your delightful stories, and thought of you when I received this gift! I don't think that I would've been the trooper you were in all of those countries!

    Daisy - It was definitely "unique," but it has proven to be quite useful!

    B & B - Maybe if they had used two-ply paper instead of rocks, they could've carved out a few more years. So there!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  26. I need to get everyone in my family this. That is for locking down next Xmas for me!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Valerie - You must videotape their reactions! Hopefully, you'll still be on speaking terms!

      Julie

      Delete
  27. OMG - I'm laughing so hard. What an ice breaker for a party, and what a great gift for those of us who are getting older. I love it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary - Though it sounds more like a gag gift, it can benefit the whole family. It's good to see you, Mary! Thank you!

      Julie

      Delete
  28. Honestly Julie - I don't know where you all come from .. what a delightfully funny post and I was most definitely laughing uproariously by the end of the post .. was it your lawyer son?!!!

    Cheers - just such a fun post ... Hilary

    ReplyDelete