Friday, April 1, 2011

Aging Awkwardly

                                                                                                    Julie Kemp Pick


As I officially exit my forty-something years, I think about some of the things I have to look forward to.

Forgetfulness: Where did I leave my keys, my phone and my floss? Waking up in the middle of the night wondering if I remembered to close the garage door. Repeating the same stories over and over again. Repeating the same stories over and over again.

Ingrown hairs popping up in the middle of my face, without any warning. Some long enough to twirl around my finger to use as a memory knot. Of course those 3D monsters will attract every one's attention, before I'm finally able to notice them. I'll never really know if my husband saw them as he'd be much too nervous to be the messenger. I'll never be able to leave the house without a tweezers in my holster. I'm already developing a love-hate relationship with my rear view mirror, because it tells no lies in the light of day.

Flatulence attacks even triggered by excessive gum chewing. Alternating between loud bursts and silent sewage air filtration. Suddenly feeling less conspicuous at a hot and steamy day at the zoo, or a tempers flared bingo game at the senior center.

Tired all the time. Always looking forward to the next nap. Standing longer than necessary for fear of passing out in a chair in the middle of the day. Experiencing jet lag when you haven't even gone out of the house.

Yelling when I think I'm using my inside voice. Losing the ability to whisper. Once I thought I was having a private conversation with my son on the main floor of a movie theater, when I noticed people were staring down at me from the top of the escalator. This was extremely embarrassing, but it would've been worse if I were chewing gum.




A is for Aging Awkwardly is my first entry in the A to Z Blogging Challenge.

18 comments:

  1. Hi Julie .. loved this .. a fun take on life as we get older and wiser .. my mother says I'm a double old age pensioner .. ??!! I could sleep for a few weeks .. then I suddenly think - hey, hey .. life's for living .. so my eyes brighten and I struggle on - wonderful compliment from my mother though .. brought guffaws of laughter from me .. just have to laugh through thick and thin! Cheers - thanks for your first comment on mine .. see you tomorrow at B .. Hilary

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  2. Hilarious, but sadly true. I think it is just going to keep getting worse. Fantastic "A" post. Good luck with the challenge.

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  3. Great post and sadly I recognized myself in it. Glad to find I will be among wonderful folks with the same issues as I age.

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  4. Nasty!! You know you're old when.....your mothers friends mistake you for her. Great start to A to Z.

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  5. Hehe! Loved this. Does anyone truly age gracefully? I don't think so.

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  6. @Hillary-Thanks for being my first comment too!

    @Rhonda-Thanks for all of your encouragement!

    @Elaine-Nice how we can both write on the same topic and still keep it fresh!

    @Mybabyjohn-Thanks for finding me...I'll look in on you!

    @Talli-Thanks for cohosting this event and taking time to visit me! Take care of your bunion and I look forward to reading your book!

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  7. You could use the long hairs for floss...I am just saying. You get an A for A! LampChop.

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  8. An Accurate Account!

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  9. Ugh! I'm glad I'm still a ways away from those realities.
    Looking forward to the rest of your A-Z posts. Thanks for stopping by my blog today!

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  10. When do you discuss the bladder.So funny can't wait for ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ . Loved this.

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  11. LambChop-Great idea I will try it!

    Amy-Thanks for following me and taking the time to say hello! Now we have work to do...

    Anonymous #1-Thanks for keeping with the theme.

    Anonymous #2-Perhaps you could co-write that one with me.

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  12. I just threw up in my mouth.

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  13. Hahahaha! It gets better...it really does. I'm closing in on 68 and feel freer than I've ever been. I've weathered a life threatening illness, adult children gone wrong, limited financial means, very hard winters and much more but Life is good and there is always something to look forward to. Hang on for the ride of your life!

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  14. What's with the zebra? Use the pic from your facebook page with your family.

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  15. This is great, I used to think 30 was old well I am now a widow children all flown the nest and 4 grandchildren, I have visited more places in the last 6 years.......it took me 7 yrs to accept I was a widow........than I have been for ages. why only in Feb I was in Nashville Tennessee.
    Loved your post good luck with the challenge.
    Yvonne.

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  16. Jan-Thanks for visiting me. You have a great attitude about life.

    Yvonne-Sounds like you're doing well now. I really enjoyed your uplifting poem!

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  17. Oh I love this and can so relate :-)

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