Uncontrollable Urges

                                                                                                 Julie Kemp Pick



There are many urges that we force ourselves to control throughout our lives. For example, babies cry out when they're hungry, children use words to describe their hunger pangs, and adults use their cars for drive- thrus. As we grow older, our urges sometimes seem more uncontrollable. With a little bit of discipline, maybe we can work together to battle some of the most common urges.

The Urge to Merge: Many of us do like to merge full throttle into oncoming traffic in the heat of  rush hour. It is important to make sure your engine is well lubricated, and to keep a steady grip on the wheel, gloves are advised. Stay focused, as alignment is key. Wait your turn, before thrusting into the fast lane.

The Urge to Purge:  Before you completely purge yourself of all of your sins, try to think about the quality first. Most people choose quantity over quality. They drink too much, swear too much, and gamble too much, without really thinking about the big picture. If you're really going to rid yourself of all your wrong doings, then why not go all out?  Comb your hair on the wrong side, order your rum with real Coke, not the diet kind, and buy two lottery tickets instead of one. Then you'll really be able to cleanse your soul, and get on with your life.

The Urge to Splurge: Why drive to work when you can ride your kid's bike? Let them walk to school. So what if the elastic is worn out on your underwear?  Suspenders will do the trick. Staycations are the new vacations. Throw everyone else out, and reap the rewards. When you really need to splurge, buy yourself an  expensive outfit, leave the tags on, and go out for a night on the town. Then purge on your plate, get the meal comped, and merge quietly into the club next door. Return your outfit the next day, and if your wife asks what you've been up to, purge again on her shoes.





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