Saturday, April 6, 2013

Frequent Flatulence


                                              




Frequent Flatulence
Never stood a chance.
Urgently erupting,
Loudly in your pants.

Friendly Fellows,
Meet up at the zoo.
Frolic at the ape house,
Takes the blame off you.

Frequent Flatulence,
Darn digestive tract.
Struggle with momentum,
Before the next attack.
 
Fancy Footwork,
To the nearest loo.
Carry extra undies,
One pair just won't do.
 
Friday Function,
At the old age home.
Through aromatic hallways,
Unsuspecting you may roam.

Frequent Flatulence,
Trying to look cool.
What's that floating near you?
Better leave the pool.

 

47 comments:

  1. Ha ha ha, that made me laugh. I've put a link to your blog on my own AtoZ Challenge site today. Great stuff here.
    http://wp.me/p2Eu3u-m4

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL! Ah, I do love a good "pome" that revolves around toilet humour.

    ReplyDelete
  3. A great poem to read first thing in the morning. Excellent.

    Enjoy your week-end.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  4. This is very clever. The zoo is such an appropriate setting because it's a place that showcases animals abiding by their body's natural instincts.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. And they smell nice too! Thanks Cynthia!

      Delete
  5. Thank you so much Rosie, and I really appreciate the special shout-out!

    Kellie - Glad we're both in the gutter! Thanks Kellie!

    Yvonne - I hope you read this after breakfast! Thanks Yvonne, and wishing you a wonderful weekend as well!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh My Days, that was so funny, loved it. And the fact about 'extra undies' was hilarious, ha ha ha. If those monkeys in the zoo could talk, I bet they'll have something to say on you blaming them, ha ha ha Keep it up Empty Nest Insider.

    ReplyDelete
  7. RPD - No, no this was all about "friendly fellows" meeting at the zoo. What have those monkees been telling you? Thanks Rum-Punch Drunk!

    Bushman - It's much better than the alternative. Thanks Bushman!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  8. LOL This post of yours is totally different, totally unexpected. I have to remind my husband about being careful with his beans and Dal (Pulses).

    ReplyDelete
  9. Julie, this is hilarious! Just my type of humor, and not what I expected. Loved it!

    Rhonda @Laugh-Quotes.com
    AtoZ #42

    ReplyDelete
  10. oh my, I'm outta the pool now! That was fabulously funny and who doesn't love fart humor?

    ReplyDelete
  11. That's hilarious and frighteningly real.

    ReplyDelete
  12. HA! You KNOW this is my kinda humor. Love it!

    ReplyDelete
  13. LOL. You may be the only one to write a poem about flatulence today. Bonus points to you. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Hahaha, that's a great poem! It reminded me of an engineer who would give us a serenade at any time in any place, but mostly at the office. And he wasn't old but he was BIG.

    ReplyDelete
  15. lol this had to be the funniest poem I've ever read. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm still chuckling, Julie. This is really amusing and dare I say relate-able?! Um, because, well, my dad is a senior. Phew. Al's comment is hilarious too.

    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  17. Munir - Beans can be very troublesome! Thanks Munir!

    Rhonda - I'm still laughing from your "Don't touch anything" post! Thanks Rhonda!

    Empty Nester - Glad this made you laugh! Thanks Empty Nester!

    Melissa - Small children aren't the only ones you have to worry about! Thanks Melissa!

    Delores - And it only gets better with age! Thanks Delores!

    Susan - You have some great scenes about this subject in your book! Thanks Susan!

    Luanne - You make it sound so classy! Congrats on being featured at Alex's today!

    Al - That must not have been too pleasant! Thanks Al!

    Julie




    ReplyDelete
  18. Thanks so much Mary!

    Robyn - Yeah, blame it on your poor dad! Thanks Robyn!

    ReplyDelete
  19. ::snorts::

    Phazyme helps. Or so I've heard. :-)
    Some Dark Romantic

    ReplyDelete
  20. I think old age homes should organize regular trips to the zoo. -Belinda [A - Z participant talking about Fantasy today; hope to see you around].

    ReplyDelete
  21. That was awesome!!

    I can identify with some of that, though, the older I get :D

    ReplyDelete
  22. Laughing. Laughing. Laughing. Nothing like turning flatulence into poetry!

    ReplyDelete
  23. Funny stuff!
    True story- I was a maid in a hotel with a pool. Everyone always waited til the last minute to checkout on Sundays. Except one Sunday. A floater caused everyone to vacate rather quickly.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Oh my, that is too funny. I'm crying from laughing so hard.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Mina - Thanks for the suggestion!

    Thanks Alex! Now get some rest!

    Belinda - Fantastic idea! I'll stop by over the weekend!

    Mark - It's sad but true for many of us. Thanks Mark!

    Lee - Who was it that said " write what you know?!"

    Ruth - Eeew, that must have been awful!

    Thank you Wendy!

    Cheryl - I hope all of the laughing doesn't stir things up! Thanks Cheryl!

    ReplyDelete
  26. Oh, you're daring! But the odd thing is, I was reading A-Z posts and finding them so boring, I switched to YouTube and was watching farting videos . . . and then, after dredging through about another dozen A-Z posts, came upon yours. So, here's to you for stepping so far out on an edge, and funnily! I'm your newest follower.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Hi Julie, Very cute. Very clever. Very funny. Very much enjoyed. No telling what the laughter might let loose. Thanks. God bless, Maria from Delight Directed Living

    ReplyDelete
  28. Catherine - That's why I love A to Z, because it really gets your creative juices flowing. Thanks for the kind words and for following me!

    Thanks so much Maria, and all the best to you!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ha-ha. Don't want to get too close to this one--got my nose plugged just in case!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Love my visit to your blog every day for a good chuckle...and fart!

    ReplyDelete
  31. Frequent Flatulence
    My, what a bore!
    But, they're used to it here.
    Here at the Walmart store.

    ReplyDelete
  32. HAH! Good choice! Just spend the wkend with my gr-kids who have no problem with fear of flatulence. None at all.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Sharon - Better safe than sorry.

    Jen - Glad I could help you let it all out! Thanks Jen!

    Al - Thanks for finding another place where I'll feel like I'm among friends. Nice poem Al!

    Susan - They're cute enough to be able to get away with anything!

    Julie

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hi Julie - excellent poem ... just the kind of thing kids would love to recite again and again, while falling over themselves with laughter ... I wonder if your poem will take off round the world?

    great fun .. fun frequent flatulence ... cheers with nose pegged closed! Hilary

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm sitting here -by myself- snorting with laughter.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Julie this is too funny!
    It reminds me of the learners at school. When somebody "does the deed" and nobody knows who the culprit is, then suddenly you just see a whole group of kids pull their faces, pinch their noses etc. Then they all turn to see what the teacher's reaction will be. I then proceed (with a straight face, mind you) to explain the importance of taking a mild laxative during the school holidays... the kids try to keep a straight face, but by this time they are giggling non-stop... and I have a private "internal" chuckle...

    Writer In Transit

    ReplyDelete
  37. Oh, this made me laugh! I'm so glad I've found your blog! The title sucked me in, since my nest has "overflowed" into neighboring cities and states, as well. This as well as your fish story made a believer out of me! Keep writing; I want to keep reading. You've got a new follower and friend!

    Elaine, www.spontaneoussputterings.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  38. OMG! This was hilarious!!! What a thought, and oh the pool, that was too visual!!! Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  39. Oh my gosh! What a hoot! I'm popping in from the a-z, and am laughing out loud! I see you're having too much fun with this!
    from The Dugout

    ReplyDelete