He didn't waste a moment,
Dreaming of his special girl.
Her face lit up the room,
Her teeth, the color of pearl.
No, no it wasn't right. It was too cliche. He threw the paper into the trash can, and started typing again. He hated being so wasteful, but he just had to do better. He began to type when he heard a knock at the door. It was his wasted roommate. "Sorry man I forgot my key." After he passed out in the corner, he went back to his poem.
He didn't waste a moment,
Dreaming of his special girl.
She brought him all his favorite treats,
Including ice cream with a swirl.
He read it aloud, and thought that even his wasted roommate would have been more creative, and he was passed out. Just then the phone rang. It was the pretty girl in apartment 5D. She called to see if he wanted company. Though all the guys were after her, she reminded him of a quarterback he used to know. Winnie had broad shoulders, a thick waist, and very slim hips. Besides, his best girl was coming over in an hour, and he had no time to spare.
She arrived like clockwork with that opalescent, pearly grin. He shyly handed her his poem.
While other gals would fuss and moan,
His best times were with her alone.
No matter what he'd do or say,
She always loved him anyway.
She'd always whisper "Haste makes waste."
While mixing up tomato paste.
He'd look over at her tiny waist
Enjoying every single taste.
Her voice kept playing in his head,
He'd dream about her whilst in bed.
Whenever they spent time away,
He loved her more each Mother's Day.
Overcome with joy Mrs. Bates gave her son Norman a giant hug, before they prepared his wasted roommate's body for burial.
Wonderful and cleverly written.
ReplyDeleteYvonne.
Great twist.
ReplyDeletewow this was intense!
ReplyDeleteHa! Great twist...very well done. :D
ReplyDeleteYvonne - Thanks so much for all of your support!
ReplyDeleteThank you Delores!
Lynn - I wanted to try something a little different.
Thanks Mark!
Julie
Arrrg! You've done it again. Lured me into a story, then shocked the heck out of me.
ReplyDeleteA double twist!! That was great.
ReplyDeleteLee - The shock value is greater when you're sleep deprived!
ReplyDeleteAlex - You're used to doing double duty! Thanks Alex!
Julie
That was a surprise ending. I had to think for a couple of minutes before I understood. Wow.
ReplyDeleteI think this has been your biggest surprise yet. Never would have guessed where this was going!
ReplyDeleteAlso, I just had to laugh at the wasted roommate interrupting the writing. :D
Great poem until I read the ending. Yikes - you really got me on that one!
ReplyDeleteThe last line made me hold my breath Wow. Again a surprise in the end. You are good!
ReplyDeleteSo that's the back story they never showed. Prequel movie now, please.
ReplyDeleteWhoa! You had me all the way, and then BOOM! Great stuff!!
ReplyDeleteExactly my reaction, "Whoa" and all! Terrific.
DeleteThank you so much Josna!
DeleteJulie
Awesome, Julie! This is so good. You lead us down the path, take a side fork, then ambush us at the end. Whammo!
ReplyDeleteLove, love, love it.
Glad I could surprise you Yvonne!
ReplyDeleteJulie - Thanks for the huge compliment! In the end, the wasted roommate came in quite handy!
Mary - I'm glad you read it in the light of day!
Munir - I really appreciate your kind words!
DayDreamer - It would be interesting to see a prequel to the film. I saw ads for a TV show about the early Norman Bates years on cable. Thanks DayDreamer!
Thank you Susan!
Carol - Thanks for making my day! This means a lot coming from a mystery/suspense author.
Julie
It took me a moment before the Bates reference sunk in...
ReplyDelete"You can check in anytime you want but you can never leave"
DiscConnected - Chilling tagline! At least they were showered with attention.
ReplyDeleteJulie
Another brilliant post. Julie, you are so clever, love your twists.
ReplyDeleteRhonda @Laugh Quotes
I didn't see that ending coming. I love the poem he came up with at the end . . . and knowing the recipient makes it even better.
ReplyDeletehttp://joycelansky.blogspot.com/2013/04/atoz-x-for-expelling-gas.html