Tuesday, July 3, 2012

IWSG: Upon Further Examination


Just as the nurse asked me to step up on the scale, a panic swept over me. She saw me turning green and said, "But I haven't even told you how much you weigh yet." I told her that I had something very important to do, and would have to reschedule my appointment. Then the doctor walked in.

Doctor: Where do you think you're going?

Me: I just remembered that I have to write my Insecure Writer's Support Group post today.

Doctor: Well, given your medical history it seems you have much to be insecure about. Why don't you let me help you write it while I examine you?

Me: I suppose it's worth a shot.

Doctor: Oh, there will be plenty of those too (snort).

After careful examination of my chart, the doctor asked where I would like to start.

Me:  The nurse never did tell me my height and weight.

Doctor: The good news is you lost a half of an inch, but you gained it in your waistline (knee slap).

Me: So I'm shrinking?

Doctor: That comes with age, but your weight is okay.

Me: So I guess I don't have to be insecure about that.

Doctor: Have you seen yourself naked lately?

Me: Oh, I forgot about that.

Doctor: That's another thing, your memory is starting to fade.

Me: Are you going to examine me or not?

Doctor: See what I mean? I've been examining you this whole time and you already forgot about it.

Me: Then why am I completely dressed, and you're wearing a gown?

(The nurse raced into the room, and quickly ushered the good doctor out.)

Nurse: Sorry, he's been trying to help people for so long, that he doesn't even realize he's not a doctor. He's such a dear man, that Mr. Cavanaugh.

Alex J. Cavanaugh is popping up everywhere. Be sure to visit the other talented writers who share their insecurities.


  1. Love the ending. (I thought it was going to be a dream.)

  2. This is great! I was totally surprised by the ending. Awesome :)

    I'm going to try to remember to stop by later in the week to read Alex's comment.

  3. Tonja - Your ending would've been fun too! Thanks Tonja!

    Carol - He's a good sport. I'm not too worried! Thanks Carol! Julie

  4. Too funny. I wanted to slap that doctor until I realized it's our beloved Alex. There's always an entertaining twist at your hub.


  5. You had me going the whole way! Great little switch there!

  6. I never touched her! Never I say!
    Very funny, Julie.
    Have a great Fourth of July.

  7. Alex Cavanaugh - - - the author and the writer who we all get inspiration from. I did not realize that we were allowed to tease him like that.

  8. Robyn - So glad that you didn't slap our "beloved Alex!" I loved your Ben Franklin Fourth of July theme! Thanks Robyn!

    Alex - I couldn't even write a fictional character based on you who even did anything remotely wrong! The nurse did sing high praises for the mysterious Mr. Cavanaugh at the end. Thanks for being such a good sport. You know I really admire all that you do.

    Munir - I have nothing but respect for all that Alex has accomplished. I also know that Alex has a terrific sense of humor. Truth be told, I don't have enough writing experience to add to the group, so I just try to lighten the load.

    Thanks Arleen!

    Yvonne - Your kind words mean so much to me! Thanks Yvonne!

    Wishing everyone a wonderful Fourth of July!

  9. Alex as the examiner. Good one. Priceless post.


  10. Great post, love the ending.


  11. This gave me a big smile. Neat story. Emma x

  12. LOL, fun story. : )

    Happy 4th of July!

  13. Excellent! Laughed out loud. Love the weight references. Very clever!

    Play off the Page

  14. Thanks so much Denise!

    Yvonne - Thanks for the kind words!

    Emma - Your thoughtful comment made me smile too!

    Susanne - Thanks and Happy 4th of July to you!

    Mary - Years ago after I mysteriously got down to my original driver's license weight, I went to the doctor. He said, "What really matters is how you look without your clothes on." Needless to say, I never saw him again. Thanks so much Mary! Julie

  15. What a great post. Thank you for making me laugh today, I really needed it.

  16. This has nothing to do with the above (nice post, BTW), but I really like your new profile shot. It's like mine. Only not of an 18th century sea captain. And attractive.

  17. I L-O-V-E it!!
    Fresh and innovative! Julie, this is one-of-a-kind... and you are PRICELESS!

  18. I'm so glad you posted this. I had a good laugh. I have something to share when I see my doctor next week. I'll be on the look out for Mr. Cavanaugh, dressed in doctor whites.

  19. Al - You are an hysterical "18th century sea captain" with good legs! We all know this, because we've seen you in your underwear! No one kids you more than you kid yourself, but you seriously look terrific. It's been 100 degrees here the last few days, so I thought that I should finally change out of my turtleneck. Thanks Al!

    Michelle - You are giving me way too much credit! I love reading your posts too! Thanks for making my day Michelle!

    Lee - Bring a camera just in case. No one has been able to capture him on film! Thanks Lee!


  20. Oh, what a super post! (I don't think you have anything to be insecure about when it comes to your writing skills.) Oh, and next time you go to the real doctor, do what I do. Before stepping on that lying scale, I always tell the nurse my shoes weight at least twenty pounds.

  21. Oh, you are so bad! I'm delighted to see another empty-nester who's writing. It's the perfect age. :-)

  22. Susan - I 'll have to try that trick next time! Thanks for your vote of confidence with my writing! I also enjoy your wonderful sense of humor that really shines in your stories!

    Lexa - Nice to meet you through the IWSG! Fortunately, Alex hasn't expelled me from the group yet! Glad you're also an empty nester, and I look forward to seeing more of you! Thanks for following me! Julie

  23. Had a great laugh with this - wonderful writing!