Wednesday, October 3, 2012

IWSG: Calling for a Quick Fix

When the creative juices start flowing, your adrenaline starts rushing. It's a feeling comparable to a girl's first kiss or a boy's first six pack. Then without warning you're staring at a blank page, the girl slams the door on her date, and the boy wreaks havoc on his high tops.

Before panic sets in, you surf the Internet for ideas, turn on the TV, or go outside for a breath of fresh air. When none of those things seem to help you call on your last resort. All you need is a quick fix to get you through the worst of it, and everything will be fine from that point on. You hate yourself for making the call, but you know that you'll hate yourself even more if you don't. You dial the number, and as you're about to hang up, she answers.

"Hello Mom?"

"Who else would it be?"

"I've got nothing Mom."

"Are you talking about that blog of yours that nobody reads?"

"Well he'll read it."

"Is it that Insecure Group for Waiter's?"

"You mean writer's."

"They're writer's, but you're a waiter. You wait to call me, you wait to get a good night's sleep, and you wait to get published."

"Actually, I've been published twice."

"Are you in People or any other magazine that I would read?"

"It's a literary arts magazine, but there's no reason you can't read it."

"You should write for other magazines too. A book would be nice."

"I would love to write a book, but I still have so much to learn. Not to mention all of the work involved. Maybe one day. Oh, I forgot to ask if you went to physical therapy today?"

"No, I'll go another time. The pain will still be there tomorrow, and the therapist keeps pushing me to practice the exercises at home too. Maybe I'll try it again one day. I have to start getting ready for dinner now."

"But it's only 3:00."

"Stop slowing me down. I have to make it downstairs by 5:20."

"Well, what should I write about?"

"Just blame everything on me like you always do."

"That's a great idea! Thanks Mom!"

"Glad I could be of help. Wait a minute, how do you hang this thing up?"

"Just press end. It's in the upper right hand corner."

"I can't see it. Where are my doggone glasses?"

"Did you check the cup holder on your walker?"

"That's where my iced tea is."

"Next to your iced tea."

"Found it!"

"Glad I could be of help."

"You're lucky I'm your mother."

"And why is that?"

"Because anyone else would sue you for stealing their best lines."

Be sure to visit   Alex J. Cavanaugh  and the other talented authors who share their stories in the Insecure Writer's Support Group.


  1. Haha I love the waiters! :D Also cracked up about the boy wreaking havoc on his high tops. It took me a second to get that haha.

    I always love your posts with your mom!

  2. This was funny. Its a good thing we can laugh at ourselves.

    Hugs and chocolate,

  3. Ah, so that's where all the good ideas come from. I think you have a character for a novel there. ;)

  4. LOL, that was great, especially the waiters bit.

  5. Julie, this was cute!

  6. I think I'm going to start a new prompt day.....maybe, words for Wednesday.....hmmmmm, this IS Wednesday. I'll get right on that.

  7. haha us writers never get any respect at least from non writers huh--cute mom :)

  8. LOL. My mother isn't like that, she's like this, "How do I get to your blog again?" "Mom, you go to your bookmarks"-"what are those?" "Look for the yellow star" "Where?" Sigh. If she manages to 1) remember what a bookmark is AND find it, then she can usually make it to Life is Good. I'm glad she at least tries to read what I write...she's just a bit tech challenged, head in the clouds, more focused on the volunteering she does at area nursing homes. I love her to death, but she drives me nuts on the technology thing. My Dad and I finally had to shut her facebook account...
    Nice to meet you - this is my first week with the IWSG.
    Tina @ Life is Good

  9. It is nice to have such a helpful last resort. Thank you for the dialogue. I wish my mom were still reachable by phone.

  10. Pretty funny
    My mom and I used to talk writing a lot since she is a writer too.

  11. Alex - Thanks for hosting and being so supportive!

    Arleen - So true! Thanks Arleen!

    Julie - I can always count on you to go the extra mile! Thanks so much Julie!

    Shelly - It helps keep me sane! Thanks Shelly!

    L.G. - Too bad I can't call it "Stuff My Mom Says!" Thanks L.G.!

    Thanks Isis!

    Thanks Susanne!

    Delores - I never worry about you procrastinating. I wish that I could accomplish even half of what you do.

    Lynn - At least I don't have to worry about my mom sugarcoating things! Thanks Lynn!

    Tina - Glad you joined the IWSG! I give your mom so much credit for trying. I'm also tech challenged. It's great that she volunteers at nursing homes too. Thanks Tina!

    Yvonne - I know that I'm very lucky. Thanks Yvonne!

    Nancy - It's so nice that you can bounce ideas off of each other! I'm sure that you never run out of things to talk about! Thanks Nancy!


  12. I never thought of that before. When you're writing, you're a writer. When you're submitting, you're a waiter. So a writer who writes while waiting must be a writewaiter (mind the head explosion)! Awesome post, Julie. Thanks for that. :)

  13. Since my mother passed many years ago, I unfortunately don't have her as inspiration for my blog. Most conversations are like this:
    "WHAT are you staring at? You're thinking of an idea for that goofy Penwasser Plaza thing, aren't you? Well, stop it! And put on some pants, why dontcha?"

  14. David - "Writewaiter" has a nice ring to it! Thanks David!

    Al - I don't think you ever really get over losing a parent. It's nice that you still talk to your mom in your underwear though! I'm sure that she would be very proud of your blog, your BOOK(S), and your children! Julie

  15. Ah, this is cute. I'm starting to think I'm a waiter but I'm really trying to be a writer

  16. Very cute, Julie! Thank goodness we have our mothers to entertain us and give us something to write about. Great play on the words!

  17. Heather - You are definitely a writer, though the tips are better if you're good at both! Thanks Heather!

    Thanks Anon!

  18. HA! Your mom makes a good point. I suppose we're ALL waiters, in a way. My mom used to be my biggest cheerleader. Think your mother would be interested in adopting an old broad? (I'm potty-trained...)

  19. I do miss my mum... even if our phone conversations always ran along similar lines! Give her a hug from me. It'll confuse her but just tell her that it's a Sukkot hug from a strange woman in the UK.

  20. Susan - My mom would probably like for you to adopt her! She would be crazy about you, and you're not an "old broad." Besides, she doesn't like my driving. Glad you're still potty trained! Thanks Susan!

    Rosalind - I'm sorry that it never really gets easier. I know how fortunate I am, and how difficult it will be when that day comes. Happy Sukkot to you and your family! I'll tell my mom that the hug is from a wonderful and caring published author! Thanks Rosalind! Julie

  21. You had me chuckling! My mother would have enjoyed this. I miss her.

  22. Susan - Sounds like your mom also had a great sense of humor! Glad she passed it on to you! Thanks Susan!

    Cherie - I couldn't agree more! Thanks Cherie!

  23. I don't know what happened to my comment? It disappeared? Spammer doesn't normally snag my comments? Trying again....

    1. Thanks for trying Michelle. Something must be off, because I received a few emails that never showed up in the comments. I hope the problem is only temporary. Julie

  24. Oh my gosh, this was wonderful. Loved, loved, loved it! I really needed the smiles this morning. :))

  25. "Stop slowing me down. I have to make it downstairs by 5:20." :)

  26. Thanks so much Candilynn!

    Libby - Dinner is at 5:30 prompt, and the gang gets very nervous if anyone is late.You also have to take walker parking into consideration. Thanks Libby! Julie

  27. ha ha - that's how it' done. I always wondered!

  28. Lolol...that is priceless!!! Just what I needed today! Thanks ;-)

  29. OMG, this is so true! I can totally relate to this! This is such an excellent IWSG post. I had a ball reading it, Julie! Nice to meet you! *shake hands* :)

  30. Oh, so thats what I am " a waiter." all along I have been calling myself a " wanna be writer." That group sounds right up my alley. Nice post! Enjoyed reading it. :)

  31. Mary - Glad I can provide an educational service! Thanks Mary!

    Thanks Teresa!

    Livia - Thanks for the kind words, and it's great meeting you too! "Shake hands" back!

    My Meddling Mind - "A wanna be writer" sounds much better to me! It seems like you're well on your way! Thanks MMM'


  32. Oh Julie, please tell me you made this up! LOL. Your Mum must be a long lost relative of my mother's. She has to be. Thanks for the chuckling. Happy writing, eh!

  33. "Is it that Insecure Group for Waiter's?" Now, that's classic. I reckon there is always an idea to be written down. Writing about not having anything to write about becomes a story about not having anything to write about.
    Of course, I have a famous dog who is more than willing to help out humans in their writing endeavours.
    Thanks for a fun posting.
    Gary :)

  34. Joylene - I am known to embellish from time to time! Fortunately, my mom is a good sport when I read my stories about her, and she does come up with lots of great material! I have a very small family and it would be nice if we were related. Thanks Joylene!

    Gary - Glad that Penny is doing well! I really could use her quick wit and star power to help motivate me! Thanks Gary!


  35. Btw, I gave you a Shout-Out today. :)