My close friend has been busy planning her youngest daughter's Bat Mitzvah. She has gone out of her way to accommodate her family by scheduling the event to take place during the week, so that her religious relatives wouldn't have to drive on Shabbat. She's also been busy running back and forth from the hospital taking her ailing father-in-law for treatments. Instead of being able to enjoy the anticipation of the upcoming event, she has been inundated with response cards that go above and beyond the intended guest list.
A divorced friend who was not invited with a guest, admitted that he was torn between bringing a date or his two teenage daughters. He was kind enough to agree to let them know when he knows. I told my friend that she and her husband were being too nice, but at the time she thought that it would be an isolated incident.
Though the lovely invitations were clearly addressed, one close relative didn't indicate whether her daughter would be attending. When my friend mentioned that the envelope said, "and family," she told her that she lost it, and wasn't sure who was invited. Strangely, this was her sister.
It seems that she wasn't the only one to misplace her envelope. Another relative requested that a man named "George" come as her guest. My friend didn't know this man, and asked if he was her new boyfriend. She responded, "George is not my boyfriend, he's my bodyguard. I want to bring him and my son with me."
Aghast, my friend asked why she needed a bodyguard, and she went on about how they were having trouble with another family member. Then she was instructed to notify her as soon as she finds out if this deranged cousin is attending, because if he comes then her son is out. This will bring her down to a plus one. In the event that he's not coming, then her son, and her bodyguard will both be attending changing it to a plus two. Fortunately, the bodyguard wouldn't miss it for the world.
As my friend was relaying this to me, I recalled how this woman took her elderly father to a small family luncheon hosted by my friend's parents. With him, were his caregiver and his personal bodyguard. I didn't understand why he didn't travel lighter by firing the bodyguard and hiring a tougher caregiver. My mother-in-law has a strong as an ox caregiver and bodyguard in one, and she's a seventy year old woman.
Now, I'm looking forward to the Bat Mitzvah more than ever. I've known her daughter, and her older siblings since they were babies, and have taken great pride in watching them grow into caring and considerate young adults. Though there's another part of me that can't wait to be thrown in the middle of a spy thriller. Did I mention that her relative carries two cell phones with her at all times? I assure you that this is a wonderful family, and they are not related to the Sopranos. However, it might be a good idea to take our bullet proof vests out of the cleaners just in case.
Oh my goodness! That seems like you will be attending one heck of a Bat Mitzvah! And when you mention "cell phones", I have to chuckle :) Didn't realise they allowed phones in cells. Perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself.ReplyDelete
Enjoy and it seems you're well prepared.
Wow....take notes...you may have the makings of a good book there.ReplyDelete
It's a shame the Bar/Bat Mitzvah ceremony has become all about the show and little about the young person's spiritual journey. That said, I can't wait to read what happened, and I hope you have a great time.ReplyDelete
Despite all of the craziness, my friend is planning a more traditional celebration. Thanks Robyn, and I know it won't be boring!Delete
Gary - Hopefully, no one will end up in a cell after the party! Thanks Gary!ReplyDelete
Delores - As long as I don't have to enter the witness protection program!
Take pictures! Record everything--I want to hear what happens.ReplyDelete
Sounds like darn good entertainment may take place. Too bad I didn't know these colorful people to invite to my daughters sweet 16. LolReplyDelete
Hi Julie .. why are people so rude - I cannot think ... they have no sensibilities ... on second thoughts send them a copy of Jane Austen's book .... but as the others have said - enjoy, take photos - especially if they're suitably undressed// overdressed ... I'd quite like to see that body-guard ...ReplyDelete
Crumbs - no written invites from me in future .. cheers Hilary
Some people can be downright rude and think they can get away with it. Hope you go ......and have a good time.ReplyDelete
Well, at least the bodyguard will be present!ReplyDelete
It's special family event - how rude to ask if outsiders could come along for the free food.
Sounds like this might be quite an event! How good of her to allow her friends to invite people that she does not know.ReplyDelete
We are planning a wedding in March and are very excited and happy about it all. On the other hand, everything is so expensive and money is flying out the window at an alarming rate. I know that we have to be very strict about the guest list and unless the law has joined them together, there will be no plus ones.
Anon - Fortunately, she has a a great sense of humor!ReplyDelete
Susan - I'll have to get fitted for a wire!
Miranda - Suddenly a room full of teenage girls doesn't sound so bad!
Hilary - My friend said that she might invite him to come early for family photos!
Yvonne - I also can't believe their nerve. I'm definitely going with my plus one!
Alex - I'm picturing a John Belushi type bodyguard! Now I'm starting to appreciate my family more!
Arleen - Congratulations on your child's upcoming wedding! I think you're being quite reasonable, but apparently her relative's feel differently. What started out as a small affair is continuing to grow leaps and bounds.
Wow. And I've been griping that so many people just don't bother to RSVP. I'm so vanilla.ReplyDelete
Any excuse for a party is a good one. Even during the week. Although waking up with a hangover before going to work isn't much fun. I suppose I could lay off drinking.ReplyDelete
Now that's just crazy talk.
I swear you need to pitch your blog (aka life) as a television sit-com. That would make a great episode. Really, though, where do bodyguards fall in the social strata? Not quite a guest, but they do take up table space. Hmmm.ReplyDelete
Word Nerd - I agree that not responding at all is horrible, but this is a brand new low. Isn't vanilla still the most popular flavor?ReplyDelete
Al - Maybe if you included some of your kitchen/bathroom remodeling crew I could have you added to the list. Do you mind sitting with the bodyguard?
LG - Thanks, I would love to write for TV, and I'm always coming up with ideas. Bodyguards also need nourishment, so as far as I know they are counted as guests.
I totally agree with LG about the tv sitcom! This sounds like it could be the most interesting Bat Mitzvah ever. I've never known of anyone who needed to bring a bodyguard to a party!ReplyDelete
In all seriousness though I'm amazed how rude people can be about the guest issue. My friend's daughter got married last year and they had so many problems with people either wanting to bring too many guests or not responding at all. I really don't get why the concept is so difficult for some!
Bodyguards? I never heard of anyone having a bodyguard here in the UK, apart from royalty but we do t mix with them! I agree with the comment that you should write a book about it... or would it be too much for readers to believe! Enjoy the Bat Mizwah :-)ReplyDelete
OMG! I would love to meet your friend and her family! Do I need to hire a bodyguard? I don't even know anyone who knows anyone who has a bodyguard!ReplyDelete
I agree about the TV sitcom :)
Carol - This is a bodyguard optional affair! I'm sure my friend would love to have you!Delete
I always wanted to be a TV writer from Sally Rogers to Liz Lemon!
Julie - It would be fun to write a sitcom! It is hard to believe the nerve of some people. These are supposed to be happy occasions, and their selfishness takes away from it.ReplyDelete
Rosalind - I don't know if there will be enough material for an entire book, but I'll certainly be taking lots of notes. Thanks Rosalind, and I'm looking forward to it!
harhar! i love how just one name totally spiraled into a whole story!ReplyDelete
It is funny how that happens sometimes! Thanks Nutschell!Delete
Ok, I am confused. Has the US gotten so bad that people actually have bodyguards?ReplyDelete
Rhonda - This is an isolated incident between family members. You can still come back to visit without a bodyguard.Delete
Rudeness deserves frankness.ReplyDelete
Hello! wow what an ordeal. We're lucky to actually get rsvp's here for any kind of party. Craziness!ReplyDelete
JJ - I like that!ReplyDelete
Michelle - Hi there! It is ridiculous that some people won't even take the time to RSVP! I would definitely think twice before inviting them again.
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Jewish mafia...this sounds like this could be fun.ReplyDelete
Hugs and chocolate,
Looks like you got spammed by the non-English-speaking-loan-person.ReplyDelete
And I thought I had grammar issues.
I'm sorry for laughing...it's just that The Engineer and I were having a conversation about how we hadn't gotten any responses to our Superbowl party invite from a certain family member...and then I read this and it all pales in comparison.ReplyDelete
Welcome to the A-Z 2013! I'm out visiting those who have signed up to say "hi" and that sorta stuff.
Tina @ Life is Good
Co-host, April 2013 A-Z Challenge
Shelly -They're not in the Jewish mafia, it's just a bad case of one family's paranoia. Thanks for the warning about Mr. Spam. This is the first time I checked in today.ReplyDelete
Tina - Hope your delinquent Super Bowl party guest responds soon. Don't ever apologize for laughing here. That's usually my intent. Congrats on co-hosting again Tina! Thanks for following me!
What a tangled web of intrigue. Never heard of people needing bodyguards at a Bat Mitzvah before!ReplyDelete
Neither did I! Looking forward to your blogfest next week Nick. It's such a worthwhile cause.Delete
Oy, vey! The inconsideration of some people knows no bounds. I sure hope your friend is planning a buffet, and not a sit-down dinner. I'm not sure which is worse... people who fail to RSVP, or people who "announce" they're gonna be bringing extra uninvited people with them. Unbelievable.ReplyDelete
Yep, you better take notes, so you can tell us all about it!
Have a lovely Bat Mitzvah, Julie.ReplyDelete
Susan - It will be a sit-down dinner, and "oy vey" is right!ReplyDelete
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Boy, did I have a good laugh when I read this. Your mate needs to enjoy her day and the only way this can be done is by having security at the DOOR. Tell your mate to give the security a list of definate names and those who are not on the list simply don't come in. Whatever fuss is made at the door is not her concern on the night. End of story. She can deal with the fall-out after the event with a glass of wine in hand.ReplyDelete
I can assure you that once they know the criteria for her parties, everyone will comply with her future wishes without issue. No joke. This post really made me laugh, thanks :)
Rum-Punch Drunk - I will definitely pass along your great suggestion to my friend! I look forward to getting to know you better, as you certainly have a wonderful sense of humor! Thanks RPD!ReplyDelete