Wednesday, February 12, 2014

I Want My Snoring Valentine Back

(GoLife For Men Nasal Pillow CPAP Mask)

Earlier this week, my husband gave me a romantic Valentine's Day couples gift, a  CPAP machine to eliminate his nightly snoring.  He had been tested for sleep apnea at the end of December, and though he was considered a "high-risk patient," the machine didn't arrive until almost six weeks later. I wasn't worried, because other than horrendous snoring, he didn't have any symptoms. Most patients suffering from sleep apnea, wake up throughout the night, and experience fatigue for days on end. My husband always wakes up ready and rearing to go. Though I was skeptical, he had two studies performed at different clinics within the last five years, and they both strongly recommended that he be fitted for a CPAP mask. We decided that it wasn't worth the risk of a possible stroke. Little did I know, that his "journey to healthy sleep," would cause me even more restless nights.

The portable CPAP machine had to be placed on a surface that was lower than the bed, so my husband put it on a broken folding chair. Since it was leaking, he placed a torn towel underneath it. Suddenly, our bedroom was transformed into a transient motel room, minus the flashing sign.

That night I watched him set up his device. He looked like Hannibal Lecter met Jacques Cousteau. The picture above doesn't show the chin strap that renders the wearer mute. We fist bumped each other goodnight, as a kiss was out of the question. Then I started worrying about all of the possible things that could go wrong.

Since my husband couldn't talk, he couldn't scream for help if he got strangled with the long chord. I also had no way of knowing if he was still breathing. Before I was used to checking his vitals in between lapses of snoring, but now I had nothing to compare it to.

Just when I was finally on the verge of falling asleep, the gentle wind from the humidifier started picking up. Suddenly, I was in the midst of an arctic chill that almost blew me right off of the bed. Every part of my being was frozen, and I couldn't seem to warm up. I had to tuck my pajama pants into my tube socks, and pull my sleeves over my hands like mittens.

 I was fighting off back drafts, and front drafts, while my husband slept like a baby. Sure I was used to the occasional gust of hurricane halitosis that was blown in my direction, but I never thought I would be begging to go back to good old fashioned snoring.

                     

36 comments:

  1. Oh my, Julie. I suggest yo nap in the day, as I doubt you will get much sleep in the night.

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  2. I've heard of that condition but never knew what the symptoms were.. You must have been scared, I agree old fashioned snoring would be peaceful all round. Hope all goes well for your husband.
    Yvonne.
    By the way I am one of Arlee Bird's Ambassadors for the A to Z challenge and wondered if you were taking part.

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  3. At least one of you did sleep. I believe A to Z co-host Tina has to wear one and she says it claustrophobic, uncomfortable, and noisy.

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  4. Arleen - I'm starting to look and feel more like Dracula everyday!

    Yvonne - We'll find out soon if the machine is really helping when he visits the doctor. Congrats on being an ambassador! I remember that you were also one last year. I won't be able to participate in A to Z this year, but I look forward to cheering everyone on. Thanks Yvonne!

    Alex - I feel badly for Tina. I think the newer machines are a little easier to work with, and less noisy, but I also would feel claustrophobic in one. Though it's a pain, I hope that it helps Tina.

    Julie

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  5. This is too funny. Hope it gets better for you

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    1. Thanks Shelly! One of us just might end up sleeping in the bathtub!

      Julie

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  6. You should have weened yourself off the snoring gradually and you wouldn't be so worried. I mean, a few nights with the machine and a night or two with you listening out for his heavy snoring. Within a couple of weeks he would then use it 7 nights, and you'd be sleeping peacefully with your coat on with ear muffs in tow.

    I wouldn't be able to sleep with that mask on, at all.

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  7. Hi Julie - I feel for you both .. the challenges of sleeping for one or both of you must be quite difficult ... I hope it settles down. The Bathtub is not a good idea .. he might get up and feel like a bath .. not be able to see clearly ... and you end up wet and cold!

    I know a friend who sleeps in another room .. such is life .. my sleep is my sleep - but bumping into each other to say good night is a little rough ... hope it improves and you are able to rustle up lots of blankets etc ...

    Cheers ... hurricane halitosis can't be fun either!!!! love it .. Hilary

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  8. Twin beds are in order...maybe even your own bedroom. When the hubs starting having his restless leg syndrome we fought the two bed issue...when he started waking up several times through the night and getting in and out of bed we thought about it some more....finally I gave in and fixed up the spare room for him. Now we are both sleeping better.

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  9. I suppose the snoring is reasonably normal. I can't ever remember my hubby (bless!) snoring. He says I'm the one who snores. This hardly matters at the moment since I've slept with the dog for the past eleven months! The dog is a very warm and sweet companion and she doesn't snore. However, she gets very upset if she's not close to me.
    I hope you manage to make your nights more comfortable, Julie.

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  10. Hi, Julie. I hope you get used to your hubby using the CPAP machine so that you can get some sleep.

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  11. It sounds like something might have gone wrong with the machine. Like it wasn't hooked up correctly. I tried a cpap machine some time ago. I had to give it up because I could not make it work right because a problem with nasal congestion. I had two different kinds of masks and one I liked a lot. But, it just did not work for me. If you can feel cold air coming from the machine something is missing.

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    1. that should say because of my problem with nasal congestion.

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  12. I'm sorry you're having to deal with such a mess, but I totally cracked up at this. The image of your husband as Hannibal Lecter combined with Jacques Cousteau is too much. You're so funny, Julie.

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  13. Crikey, is that mask safe? It sounds a bit frightening... like it could be hazardous instead of helpful...? Or is it just my imagination...
    Oh well, I suppose that means I'd better resign myself to "good, healthy spousal snoring"... (my hubby often snores)
    I hope you get some rest Julie...
    (Looking forward to your entry in the Ubuntu Blog Hop next week... )

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  14. I've heard more and more about people using the CPAP machines. What a relief that something like this exists to help folks, huh (although the Hannibal Lecter/Jacques Cousteau image made me smile, too).

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  15. Hahahaha. I think that all of this will get better.

    My mom has a CPAP machine and I am ever so thankful for it on those rare occasions we share a room (traveling and such). She used to snore so loud that I couldn't sleep at all. Now... bliss. Throw another blanket over your side of the bed and savor the silence!

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  16. Rum-Punch Drunk - I like your ideas! If only you suggested the earmuffs sooner to help muffle the horrendous snoring! I would also have a tough time sleeping with the mask on.

    Hilary - I do tend to exaggerate, and hurricane halitosis is a potent example! Things are already improving, as I was more prepared last night. Thanks Hilary!

    Delores - I hope your husband is feeling better. Does physical therapy help for restless legs? Thanks for the other options that are a nice alternative if things don't continue to improve.

    Fanny - Last night my hubby put warm water in the humidifier, and I cranked up the heat. It seemed to help. It must be fun cuddling up with your dog. Thanks Fanny!

    Susanne - I think we're on the road to sharing a mutually satisfying slumber. Now I sound like I'm 105! Thanks Susanne!

    Yvonne - It does seem like something isn't attached right to create that kind of cold breeze. We'll have to double check. Sorry that the mask didn't help you. Hope you're feeling well.

    Julie - I'm just glad that he's not bothered by the machine, or my silly stories! Thanks Julie!

    Michelle - Ubunta know what to write about. Maybe you can post some examples. The mask and machine are more of a problem in my dangerous mind!

    Al - I just wonder if some people are using the machines unnecessarily. We'll find out how helpful it is when we see the doctor. Congrats again on your Anti-Valentine's Day win! Thanks Al!

    Robin - I will "savor the silence" for the most part. We still have to iron out some glitches. Glad the CPAP is helping your mom! Thanks Robin!

    Julie



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  17. Husband has used a CPAP for about three years. No problems. And no snoring!

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  18. ha ha - I was wondering what using one of those things is like. Now I know. Hopefully we won't experience that one.

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  19. Carol - I'm glad that it has helped your husband, and not interfered with your sleep.

    Mary - Many people have had great success with CPAP. I just wish that I wasn't such a light sleeper. As long as neither one of you are snoring, you probably will have one less thing to worry about, Mary.

    Julie

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  20. OMG - that thing is a nightmare. I was laughing so hard when I got to: 'He looked like Hannibal Lecter met Jacques Cousteau." I just thought you couldn't create a funnier image, then you got to "hurricane halitosis" - thanks for the great laughs, sorry they are at your expense.

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  21. I hope I never have to sleep with one of those. My wife might need it before I do. I've never heard myself snoring.

    Lee
    Wrote By Rote
    An A to Z Co-host blog

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  22. What an hilarious account of sleeping next to one of those machines. My girlfriend uses one, but I had no idea all this could happen. All the best to you both.

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  23. Rhonda - If it really helps him, then it will all be worth it. I'm glad that we still crack each other up! Thanks Rhonda!

    Lee - Hopefully, neither one of you will ever need CPAP. It's amazing how most people have no problem adjusting to it.

    Inger - I hope that your girlfriend is able to sleep as soundly as my hubby. Thanks so much Inger!

    Happy Valentine's Day Everyone!

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  24. I know a few people (all men) who need to use one of those devices. Their wives tell me that they're not sexy but at least their husbands are healthier. If he doesn't use it, the condition can put a strain on the heart or so I'm told. You could always buy yourself one of those fleecy onesies.

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    1. Rosalind - Yes, "fleecy onesies" will definitely help with the arctic blasts! My hubby's health is the most important thing, so it will be worth the minor inconveniences in the end. Thanks Rosalind!

      Julie

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  25. I have been using a CPAP machine for several months now and I love it. I sleep better at night and don't find it even remotely uncomfortable. My only problem is sometimes I can't get it not to leak into my eyes, but once I have fixed that it's fine. Separate beds or even rooms is not a bad idea, but don't stop your husband from wearing it so long as he is happy to do so and if he isn't encourage him to continue wearing it anyway.

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    1. Jo - I'm glad the CPAP machine has been a huge help to you. Sorry that it's been leaking into your eyes. You are absolutely right about not discouraging my husband from using it. It just struck me funny that the noises and wind gusts were worse than his snoring on the first night. It has gotten better though. Thanks for the helpful advice, and for following me.

      Julie

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  26. My hubby has always been an accomplished snorer. I swear, if it were an Olympic event, he'd be a strong contender for bringing home the gold. Oddly enough, as we've gotten older, he snores less... and I snore more. Payback time, I guess.

    Anyhow, I hope the CPAP helps your hubby, and you both start getting a good night's sleep. (Thanks for the chuckles.)

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    1. Susan - Fortunately, my hubby is such a sound sleeper that l'll never know if I start snoring. Great idea about adding snoring as an Olympic event! Thanks Susan!

      Julie

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  27. My father in law has one of these, and he calls it his Darth Vader machine. It's big, it's black, and not only does it make him look like Darth Vader, but he sounds like him when he's sleeping. And yet, my mother in law says it's the greatest thing she's ever gotten him, because she'd rather hear Darth Vader than the sound of logs being shredded in a woodchipper (his snoring).

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    1. A Beer For The Shower - There is something very soothing about James Earl Jones. Did you know that he stuttered as a kid? I'm glad the CPAP machine has helped your in-laws. We just ordered a new mask with better air release control. Hopefully, that will resolve all of the problems, otherwise, it's going straight into the woodchipper!

      Julie

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  28. I'm both really sorry that you lost your snoring husband to a device that turns him into Hannibal Lecter met Jacques Cousteau, and highly amused by your hilarious descriptions.

    I have heard that the CPAP keeps people alive, so I guess it's worth it. I mean, I'm sure it is in your hubby's case. It's other cases, that's up for debate.

    xoRobyn

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    1. Yes, he's definitely worth it! I'm sure we'll hear some cases about fed-up wives, and girlfriends who have doctored sleep devices for those who fall into the debatable category! You always crack me up! Thanks Robyn!

      Julie

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