Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Rub -A- Dub Schlubs

                                                                   
teamcoco.com
     
According to U.S. News,  "Falling is the leading cause of home injury deaths; it claims nearly 6000 lives per year. And although there are ways to reduce this risk, the president of the Home Safety Council recommends that homeowners install grab bars in their bathtubs and showers."

The Cato Institute Handbook For Congress reported in 2009, "One's chance of being killed in a terrorist attack is many times less than one's chance of drowning in a bathtub or being killed by a fall from scaffolding or a ladder."

 A 2008 study in Today Health, "...found staphylococcus bacteria, a common cause of serious skin infections, in 26 percent of the tubs tested, as compared with just 6 percent of garbage cans. Tubs typically had more than 100,000 bacteria per square inch."

None of this mattered, as a man in his mid-late forties from Oklahoma City was enjoying his bath a few days ago. His mom was off in the kitchen making a sandwich when she heard the loud boom. Next, she felt the house shake, and feared an earthquake hit. Then she heard the loud screams coming from the bathroom.

At first she couldn't even find her son trapped under all of the rubble. The tub and the toilet were completely demolished. The driving force was asleep at the wheel of a Volkswagen Jetta.

After firefighters dug out the bather, and carried him out on a stretcher, it was reported that he only suffered from a large gash on his leg. The 25 year-old driver miraculously had no injuries when he crashed full throttle into the brick house, as a result of staying up all night. Apparently, he credited his complete state of relaxation to remaining unscathed.

After he pointed out, "I wasn't drunk, or anything obviously, and I'm awake now," the police handed him "an energy drink and a ticket for distracted driving." Then he set off for his nearby neighborhood home.

And you thought it was bad to bathe in your own filth. Thus far, there has been no word on the whereabouts of the victim's rubber duckie.


44 comments:

  1. Now, I wonder if the bather would have got a gash in the leg if he had installed a grab bar? Ha ha ha. And it's always the case that the one causing the crash or injury hardly ever gets hurt. That poor duckie didn't stand a chance :)

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  2. What?! A fellow who drives into a house gets off with a ticket? Has the world gone crazy? He should be publicly humiliated. Daub him with brightly coloured dyes!

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  3. Rum-Punch Drunk - Great point, if he had held onto the grab bar, he may have only injured his toe! Sadly, it doesn't look very bright for the duckie.

    Gorilla - That's one terrible punishment! I also don't understand why he seemed to get off so easy, unless he received a very hefty ticket!

    Thanks for laughs Rum-Punch Drunk and Gorilla!

    Julie

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  4. Fortunately our bathroom is on the back of the house! Even so, I may never bathe easy again!!

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  5. Food for thought in this excellent write,
    Yvonne.

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  6. This is one bizarre story, and I have to agree with Gorilla, the oddest part is the driver getting only a ticket. If this is all true, I am glad the injuries were low. Wonderfully written.

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  7. Crap. I gotta go find the bleach and a scrubber now.

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  8. In this house the tub is nothing more than a dust catcher.

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  9. I used to enjoy a relaxing soak in the tub. Thank you for ruining that for me.

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  10. Rosalind - Be sure to bathe with your clothes on, just in case!

    Thanks Yvonne!

    Rhonda - I'm also shocked that he only got a ticket. I first heard the story on TV, and then I checked a few online sources. The man was very lucky that his injuries weren't more serious. Thanks Rhonda!

    Luanne - Happy cleaning!

    Delores - We don't use our bathtub either, but the kids have a combined shower/tub which I'm starting to worry about now.

    Great one, Arleen! This will definitely be filed under The Best Comments Of All Time!

    Robin - Just shower first, and you'll be fine! And...you're welcome Robin!

    Julie

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  11. Never would I have thought to fear being hit by a car in my tub!
    And that's disgusting about the germs.

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  12. As I haven't had a bath in close to 40 years, I figure I'm fairly safe. Not only that, we are on the 5th floor so shouldn't have trouble with sleepy drivers. I shower in case you didn't realise.

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  13. You made me laugh.

    Hugs and chocolate!

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  14. Alex - Yes, that is the last place you'd expect to be in a car accident. It is hard not to become germaphobic after reading these stats.

    Jo - I never doubted your cleanliness for a second! Your kitchen must be especially immaculate with all of your gourmet cooking.

    Shelly - We can only laugh, because no one was seriously hurt. Thanks Shelly!

    Julie

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  15. And that's why I shower. So there ... pffffft :)
    This is HILARIOUS!

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  16. Hi human, Julie,

    This pawsting was pawfectly funny, my human friend. I can see what you were basin it on. Sitting there in one's own filth doesn't make a lot of sense. I always shower. Such a clever dog! Nice one, human!

    Pawsitive wishes,

    Penny the Jack Russell dog and modest internet superstar!

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  17. Carol - I always knew that you were one smart cookie! Thanks Carol!

    Penny - Most dogs take baths instead of showers, but we all know that you are far more sophisticated! I'm sure that you also take the time to hose Gary down once in a while! Thanks Penny!

    Julie

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  18. Heck, I might as well go sky diving, then. Safer.

    (Another fun post!)

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    1. Susan - Do you mind holding off until next year? We really need you in one piece for the next several months! Thanks Susan!

      Julie

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    2. HA! Sure, I'll make the supreme sacrifice, and resist plunging to my death from an airplane for just a little longer...

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  19. Hi Jule - this is a great post ... horrifying, ridiculously stupid, laughingly uncontrollable ... honestly you couldn't dream up a story like that .. and the photo of the Office Chap, who is British .. but I can't remember his name ... shows you those bugs have got to me! Now the only we don't know is did they have to demolish the house .. and is the car on a scrap heap or is happily rusting away in the bubbles ...

    Crazy read - you're so good at these ... cheers I shall be laughing for a while! Hilary

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  20. Wow! A testimony to faith.... and bathing at your own risk . ;)

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  21. Hilary - Ricky Gervais is from The Office, and Conan O'Brien is a late night talk show host. I read that the bedroom was also destroyed, so the man and his mother had to move out. You've painted a lovely picture of the car "happily rustling away in the bubbles!" Sadly, the Jetta didn't survive. Thank you so much, Hilary! You really make blogging fun!

    Julie - Maybe this will start a new trend of hiring live-in lifeguards! Well said, Julie!

    Julie

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  22. Well, it reinforces my decision to shower... and I'll be looking over my shoulder when I take a long soak in the bath...

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  23. Poor chap!! What a dreadful thing to happen while you're enjoying a soak. I'll bet that doesn't enter the normal statistics of death by drowning!

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  24. Michelle - Yes, showering is the cleanest and the safest method, especially if your shower is located on the second floor!

    Val - You're absolutely right! This case enters it's very own study group!

    Julie

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  25. I'm glad I am a shower guy. I always wanted to "depart" in a more dignified way, like saving a child from a burning building or jumping on a grenade to save my platoon. Getting squashed in a bathtub is just not cool.

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    1. JJ - Now you know how the rubber ducky felt! Seriously, you've already helped so many including your family, students, and everyone who's read your books, that you deserve to die peacefully at one hundred and twenty.

      Julie

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  26. What an inopportune time to have a car crash into one's house. I think about cars crashing into our house since a pretty busy street runs behind our house. There is a block wall between us and the street, but still a car or truck going fast enough could probably make it to the house. Hope I never see that day.

    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out

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  27. I have a car that used to get kind of jumpy. I would apply a bit of pressure to the peddle and it would bolt out so fast I was running into parked cars. It calmed down once it was serviced. A person should stay in the house, unless of course their house is on a corner and cars like to come up on the grass. Who knows how far they could go.

    Thanks for the story. I might not sleep for days.

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  28. Arlee - It's a good thing that there's a block wall behind you. Just making contact with the wall could've been a big wake-up call for the driver, and helped prevent him from crashing into the man's bathtub. At least you don't have to worry about that happening, as I know you don't have time for long baths.

    Yvonne - I'm glad that your car has been fixed. That must have been pretty scary. Usually my stories do put people to sleep, so perhaps you should read it again.

    Julie

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  29. Life is dangerous no matter what you're doing or where. Amazing story.

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    1. Lee - We just have to hope for the best. It was an amazing story with a surprisingly happy ending. Thanks Lee!

      Julie

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  30. Ricky Gervais and Conan in the tub is classic. I knew this would be another great post as soon as I saw that pic LOL.
    Like others I can't believe the driver got off with nothing but a ticket, what the heck??

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  31. The worst part was that the bathtub was on the second floor.
    Incidentally, IMO Conan is an unfunny bag of suck.

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  32. It's nice to know that if I didn't already have enough irrational fears following me throughout the day, I can now add "a car might plunge into my house at any moment and bury me in rubble" to that list.

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  33. "Accidents" take many forms & give our friends cause for laughter. I'm still recovering from the Great Purse Accident of 12/13.
    Kathy @ Swagger

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  34. Julie - I also cracked up when I saw this photo! It is hard to believe that he just walked away with a ticket. Thanks Julie!

    Ken - Now that would have made for a much better story! I haven't watched Conan in a long time, but I heard he did a great show with Mel Brooks honoring Sid Ceasar. I'm sure that you would've liked it, Ken.

    A Beer For The Shower - Glad that I can add to your insanity!

    Kathy - Now I'll have to look up the story about your purse incident!
    Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone!

    Julie

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  35. Replies
    1. Ken - I told you to start working on History of The World Part II with him. You would make a great team!

      Julie

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  36. I don't think anyone will ever convince me that a bathtub is dirtier than a trashcan, but this seems an appropriate time to tell you about my hot tub experience at a frat house a few decades ago. I ended up with a rash from my neck all the way down to my toes. It was red, itchy, bumpy and unsightly. It took at least a week to fade. You would not believe how overjoyed I was that I didn't ever dunk my head in.

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    1. Kim - They must have served some pretty potent punch at that frat party! I can only imagine how painful it was at the time. Sorry you had to go through that Kim. I'm sure that your daughter will wear a special ankle monitor at college that will go off if she even goes near a fraternity hot tub!

      Julie

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