DL Hammons, and Nicole Zoltack are hosting the Deja Vu Blogfest, where writers are asked to "re- post their favorite blog from this year, or one that never received the exposure it should have." Be sure to check out the list of entertaining entries who are getting into the holiday spirit by highlighting their favorite repeats.
My story was written in February 2013. Thanks to DL and Nicole for inspiring me to dust if off. Happy Holidays, and remember it could always be worse!
Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters
Dorothy: No, I'm fine thank you.
Dorothy's daughter: Just grab my hand, and let me give you a boost.
Dorothy: I said I don't need any help. STOP RUSHING ME!
Host: Okay, let's move on to Gladys and her daughter Gretchen. How many times do you call your mother a day?
Host: And you Felicia?
Felicia: I call my mother once a week.
(A loud siren sounds)
Host: Where's Dorothy?
(The paramedics lift Dorothy into her seat)
Dorothy's daughter: I call my mother six times a day. She hangs up on me, and says, "It's never enough."
(The bell sounds ding ding ding)
Host: You are correct. The answer is, "Never enough." You just won a case of prune juice. You must be very proud of your daughter Dorothy!
Host: All right then. Now we'll ask the mothers a question. Gladys when is the last time you said something nice to your daughter?
Gladys: Don't we get a lunch break?
Host: It's only been ten minutes. We'll have snacks after the show.
Gladys: But this is when I eat lunch.
Gretchen: Here Mom, I brought you a sandwich. (takes one out of her purse)
Gladys: It's on rye bread. I like a nice roll. I can't eat this. What's wrong with you?
Fanny: I'll take it. I'm starving. (Looks at her own daughter Felicia) Why don't you ever make me lunch?
Host: Fanny, when is the last time you said something nice to your daughter?
Fanny: That's easy. As we were driving over, I told my daughter that her dress was very pretty...
Host: Well, that is nice.
Fanny: And I'm sure that if she lost ten pounds it would actually fit her.
Host: Maybe we should just throw out that question. Dorothy, when was the last time your daughter took you to the doctor?
Dorothy: You know falling down really makes a person thirsty. How come no one offered me a drink or a sandwich?
Host: If you answer the question, I'll get you both.
Dorothy: Okay, yes please.
Host: Yes please what?
Dorothy: I would like both a drink and a sandwich. Soup would be nice too, but I don't want to be a bother.
(Gladys is dashing across the stage with her walker. Her daughter is jogging behind her)
Host: Where are you going?
Gladys: I just remembered I think I forgot to turn off the stove.
Host: Can you have someone else check on it?
Gretchen: It's my stove, and I just got a text that the fire department is heading over to my house.
Gladys: Are we stopping for lunch first, 'cause I still haven't eaten?
Host: Good luck ladies. Be sure to tell us your new address, so we can send you a lifetime supply of incontinence products.
Dorothy: Continents? I can name the continents! There's Asia, Africa.....
I love it! This definitely deserves more hits ;)ReplyDelete
So, so funny. I'm about to spend Christmas at my mother's retirement community, so it was good to be reminded just of crazy moms can be (and make us too).ReplyDelete
Glad you recycled this one. So funny!!!ReplyDelete
I just love posts that are clearly based on the blogger's own life experience. Although I have to wonder whether someone's mother actually said "Why couldn't you have married someone like that?". Did you really hear someone's mother say that?ReplyDelete
GEM JULIE ~ReplyDelete
This was really funny!
In fact, I think you ought to do more like this. Perhaps a series of occasional new installments of some new game shows you make up. You've done Mothers and Daughters, now how about Mothers-In-Law and Daughters-In-Law? Or maybe something else that wouldn't be quite so violent? Babysitters and the Baby-sat?
Glad you resurrected this one so I got a chance to read it. Good stuffs!
'Loyal American Underground'
hysterical. Guess I missed it the first time, so glad it got dusted off and reposted. Excellent laugh on a Friday. Have a great weekendReplyDelete
Michael - Thank you so much!ReplyDelete
Alex - I really appreciate it!
Laurel - Have fun with your mom, and the rest of the gang!
Ava - Many thanks!
Gorilla - Why would you possibly think this was "based on my life experience?!" I don't know anyone named Dorothy or Gladys. I'm sure thousands of mothers have said that line! Fortunately, I haven't heard it from my mom yet!
Stephen - I think this also applies to mothers-in-law, and daughters-in-law. I love that you also came up with a "less violent" suggestion! Thanks Stephen!
Joanne - Though this is really more appropriate for Mother's Day, hopefully it will also help ease some holiday tension for anyone who has a Dorothy or a Gladys in their lives! Thank you, Joanne!
<<<--- Host: You are correct. The answer is, "Never enough." You just won a case of prune juice. You must be very proud of your daughter Dorothy!ReplyDelete
Dorothy: Did you see how nice those paramedics were? Why couldn't you have married someone like that?
Honestly, the whole thing was funny, but this was my favorite part. How do you like that prune juice, Julie???? Or did you run out already... because there wasn't enough?
Oh how I loved this, I am not a meddling mum but I do have a disappointing daughter I'm sorry to say,ReplyDelete
Enjoy your week-end.
How funny! I don't think I'm a meddling mum (yet), but I'm sure my mother would tell you I'm a disappointing daughter. *mental note…call Mum*ReplyDelete
Hi Julie .. brilliantly told by a delightful daughter, who takes care of her muddling mother when she "telefons" ... you should do a series of writing stories .. because they would be amazing .. cheers - HilaryReplyDelete
A fun read. A good reminder to be aware of meddling and being disappointed. I never want to get to that point.ReplyDelete
That was fun.ReplyDelete
That was awesome! I laughed out loud several times. I'm also going to have my wife read that when she gets home.ReplyDelete
Thank you for re-sharing this with us today. :)
We were living parallel lives when you posted this. I loved that others were out there with elderly moms, experiencing what I was experiencing and making me laugh about it. Now that my mom's gone, I have to say those were some laugh-filled days.ReplyDelete
Merry Christmas, Julie.
Robin - No prune juice for me, though it would probably work wonders! Thanks Robin!ReplyDelete
Yvonne - We all feel disappointed once in awhile. Don't give up! Thanks Yvonne!
Kate - I'm sure you're being too hard on yourself. Just call your mum, and you'll both feel better! Thanks Kate!
Hilary - I would love to do a series starring my mom! I always say she should be the next Betty White! Thanks so much, Hilary!
Donna - I took the situation to the extreme. I'm sure this won't happen to you! Thanks Donna!
Patsy - I had fun writing it! Thanks Patsy!
DL - Thanks for hosting this wonderful blogfest! I really enjoyed your touching tribute to your dad! I'm delighted that you're sharing my story with your wife! Hope she only relates a little bit! Thanks again, DL!
Lee - I'm sure you'll write about those memories one day. For now, just concentrate on your sequel, and your dad's bio. You are busy, busy Lee!
Ha ha - I could totally see this being me and my mom when she gets older :)ReplyDelete
Your Mother-Daughter escapades are so humorous, Julie, even when it's not about you and your mom. We know that even when it isn't, it is.ReplyDelete
Love to you. Happy 4th night of Hanukah! xo
Now I am getting a little worried getting into mid sixties.ReplyDelete
Tiana - Hopefully, it will NEVER happen, but as long as you keep your sense of humor, you'll be able to get through almost anything!ReplyDelete
Robyn - You are such a good sport about all of my silly "mother-daughter escapades." It's such a shame that you lost your mom so young, and have had to miss out on so
many experiences. I'm sure she is proudly smiling down on you, because of how well you turned out, Robyn!
And yes even when it isn't, it still is in some way! You're on to me, Robyn! Love and Happy Hanukkah to you!
Munir - No need to worry. You don't have any of the same traits as any of the crazy mothers on the game show. Although, some people do reveal a whole other side to themselves when they're hungry. Just stay fueled up, and hydrated at all times, just in case!
Very funny! Excellent post to resurrect!ReplyDelete
Happy Deja Vu!
Thanks Chris, and I look forward to reading your Deja Vu post! Enjoy the holidays!Delete
My big fear is that I will grow into one of those mothers. However, I have not begun to shrink yet and can still get into a chair nicely. It is getting out of one that is a little difficult sometimes.ReplyDelete
Happy holidays, Julie, to you and your family, especially your very funny mom.
Arleen - "I have not begun to shrink, and can still get into a chair nicely," sounds like the perfect caption for an online dating site! I'm even a little turned on right now! You always come up with the funniest comments, Arleen! Thank you, and wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!Delete
That was great. I was a daughter (of course) but I'm sure I never disappointed. I can't speak to the other side of this relationship since I have no daughters myself but if you want to talk about insufferable sons...ReplyDelete
LD - I would love to discuss "insufferable sons" with you anytime! I just read your lovely story which shows that you also didn't disappoint your mother-in-law. Now that's an even greater accomplishment! Thanks for following me, LD! Wishing you and your family a very Merry Christmas!Delete
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.ReplyDelete
Very funny! Family dynamics are fascinating, aren't they?? Great choice for the repost.ReplyDelete
Happy Deja Vu weekend!
michele at Angels Bark
These are always hilarious, and this resurrected post is no different. I love the reference to "I don't want to be a bother," which always seems to be code for "this is definitely going to be bothersome."ReplyDelete
Hello, I'm a doggy fan from England! Arf!ReplyDelete
That was well funny. I know my human, Gary, has bought some In Continents pants. Yes, he has a pair of trousers with photos of all the continents.
Quite the game show. Thank you, human, Julie.
Michelle - You are absolutely right about "family dynamics!" It's nice to meet you via the blogfest! Thank you, and I'll see you soon!ReplyDelete
B & B - I've heard that line so many times, and I think it's something we an all relate to! I'm sure I'll slip up one day by telling my kids, "I don't want to be a bother" too! Thanks
for giving me nightmares, B & B!
Penny - Are you sure Gary doesn't wear these under his trousers? You and Gary would be perfect for the canines and masters version of the show! Just let me know which position Gary is playing!
Aw geez, Julie, that post belongs in the Blogging Hall of Fame. It's priceless! The reason it's so doggone funny is we've all probably known old gals who behave exactly like that. (Not ME, of course...) I sure met a lot of old gals (and guys) who'd fit right into your game show when I ran the BINGO games at our church. OY! The way they acted...!ReplyDelete
Happy Holidays, kiddo. I hope you and your family enjoy a wonderful Hanukkah, and all the best to y'all in the new year.
Hello from Deja Vu, Julie! I get this story, and I get you. I know all about those kind of relationships where you present the other person with a moon on a silver platter, and still, it's "never enough."ReplyDelete
Susan - If there's a special two-fer Blogging Hall of Fame deal, I want you there right beside me, funny lady! I would've loved to have been in on some of that exciting BINGO action! I'm sure your skills in diplomacy really paid off! Merry Christmas to you, and your family, and a happy & healthy New Year! Thanks so much, Susan!ReplyDelete
Cynthia - Some people are just happy being miserable, and we just have to try not to take it personally. Hope this didn't hit too close to home for you. Happy Holidays to you and your family, Cynthia! All the best in the New Year!
TOO FUNNY.... Thanks for the laugh!ReplyDelete
HAPPY HOLIDAYS, JULIE! Wishing you and your family a festive, happy, and healthy season AND all the best for 2015!!!! Hope to see you soon!
Thanks for visiting my post.ReplyDelete
Great advise to stay hydrated and fueled up. I think being hungry is a big factor when it comes to moodiness in elderly or even young people.
Happy Holidays to you and your loved ones.ReplyDelete
Hahaha! This is great, Julie! Wishing you and yours all the best for the holidays!ReplyDelete
Michael - Hope you had a wonderful Christmas! Wishing you all good things in the New Year! We must make plans to get together soon! Thanks Michael!ReplyDelete
Munir - I know that I'm also "moody" when I'm hungry and thirsty. Of course, there are other factors involved too! Happy Holidays to you, and yours! Thank you, Munir!
Connie - Hope you had a very Merry Christmas! Wishing you, and your family all the best in the New Year!
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I loved your story - especially the ending, made me LOL!ReplyDelete
Dejavu is an interesting, mind boggling and weird event/feeling. :DReplyDelete
Fun though most of the time.
I hope you had a wonderful Christmas!
Suzanne - I really appreciate your kind words! I could see a few of my friends appearing on this game show with their moms!
SuperLux - Yes, déjà vu is all of those things! This was a great idea for a blogfest! We had a wonderful holiday, and hope you did too!
Happy New Year!
Regarding my top 20, I wanted to find one by you, because your comments are consistently clever. Had I spent more time (it took so long, I didn't review my entire year's worth), but I might've been able to. But maybe not. Your comments are more cunning than random. That's a good thing. We need more cunning than random in the world and blogland.
A great, happy, healthy, meaningful New Year's and new year to you and yours.
I appreciate your friendship.
Broad hugs and love.
I'm rather late (13 days late? Crikey!) in getting around to the bloghop participants. I've been soooo busy.ReplyDelete
Thanks for the laughs, Julie!
Robyn - Something strange is going on with my emails, as I didn't see this earlier. You always write the funniest, clever, and most "cunning" comments on my blog too! Actually the word "cunning" is quite a stretch for me, but I'll gladly take it! I was just kidding about being hurt. I wanted to give a playful jab to Al, especially because KenReplyDelete
was also competing with us last Valentine's Day when he was on a rhyming roll! I also appreciate your friendship, Robyn. Have a happy, and healthy 2015! Love and broad hugs back atcha!
Michelle - I'm always late for everything, and a visit from you is always a pleasure anytime! Happy New Year! Thanks Michelle!
What an great story!ReplyDelete
Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem
not learn, so enjoy it :)
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