Flap, flap, flap,
Driving to the store.
Where's my grocery list?
I'll be back for more.
Flap, flap, flap,
I've lost my phone again.
I thought I left it upstairs,
Better check the den.
Flap, flap, flap
Hurrying to the gym
Wait, I don't belong here.
Look at the shape I'm in.
Flap, flap, flap,
What's that actor's name?
He was in that silly movie,
This is driving me insane.
Flap, flap, flap,
"Do you hear that flapping, Ma?"
"Well, I wasn't gonna say anything,
But you forgot to wear a bra."
Nothing like a good boob post.ReplyDelete
Ivy - I had fun writing it. Thanks Ivy!ReplyDelete
Alex - I've always liked stories or poems with surprise endings. Thanks Alex!
Sure thing. I had fun reading it.Delete
I was expecting it to be the bat wings flopping......good one.ReplyDelete
Haha! That was great!ReplyDelete
Delores - Well, there's that too! Thanks Delores!ReplyDelete
Daisy - You and Delores should both post some of your poems from Old Broads too! Thanks Daisy!
This is a poem great enough to have an alternative title. How does The Ballad of the Flapping Boobies sound? The actor's name was Jimmy Jugs.ReplyDelete
Ha!! You've been spying on me again!ReplyDelete
You're such an original. :)
I can so relate to this! Loved the laugh.ReplyDelete
Gorilla - With the name Jimmy, it's sure to be an even better surprise ending! Thanks for the great alternative title, too!ReplyDelete
Liza - You should also post some of your Old Broads poems. Thanks Liza!
Luanne - Now I'll always be worried that you'll find typos. You won't hurt my feelings if you point them out to me. I'm sure you don't have the flapping issue, but we're all becoming a little more forgetful. Thanks Luanne!
Lee - I notice little things I've forgotten all the time. At least we can laugh about it! Thanks Lee!
Grin. I too liked the ending.ReplyDelete
Wonderfully cheering to read, thanks for cheering me up..ReplyDelete
Haha, I didn't expect that bit at the end! Have you ever watched the British sitcom Miranda? It's a humour show and in it at one point she says "sometimes when I'm in bed I roll over and my breasts clap together". Really funny the way she does it :). Anyway that's what that post reminded me of.ReplyDelete
haha a flapping away all through the day, come what may. Fun indeed at your feedReplyDelete
Jo - Thank you so much!ReplyDelete
Yvonne - I hope you're doing well. I know you've had a rough time of it lately. Thanks Yvonne!
Sarah - Sounds like a fun show. I'll be on the lookout for it! Hopefully, Miranda is a bit older than I am! Thanks Sarah!
Pat - I really appreciate that, you clever rhyming cat!
Oh geez. I was trying to figure out where that was going. Be careful what you wish for ;)ReplyDelete
Michael - I hope you don't have trouble getting that image out of your head!ReplyDelete
Dixie - Maybe you shouldn't have read this so close to bedtime. Next time I'll include a warning label.
It's not the image, it's the sound effects!Delete
Michael - Good one, Michael!Delete
I love this!ReplyDelete
A BOOBY trap with a difference! LOL
The Old Broads compilation is fantastic! I had a good chuckle at some of the entries!
a great blog, I like your style. Would you like to follow each other? let me knowReplyDelete
Fun twist at the end. I really like this.ReplyDelete
OMG - I so didn't expect that. What a wonderful twist at the end. Brilliant Julie.ReplyDelete
Free at last, thank God my boobs are free at last!ReplyDelete
Oh, are you one of the poets in that anthology? I saw it featured a while back on Robyn Engel's blog and thought "what a terrific idea for a collection!" Love your poem!ReplyDelete
that's a good one, and in such a great book!!!ReplyDelete
Hi Julie - that was really fun ... and the "Old Broads Waxing Poetic " .. is wonderful and yes - that line got me too ... it was a great idea this collaboration .. cheers HilaryReplyDelete
Hilary - Thank you for all of your kind words! I really enjoyed working with all of the "Old Broads." Hope your hip is recovering nicely, and you're able to get around more.Delete
Michelle - Thank you so much, Michelle! I also really appreciate your review!ReplyDelete
Inma - Nice to meet you. I'm heading right over.
Natalie - Glad you liked it. Thanks Natalie!
Rhonda - "Brilliant?!" Haha! If only our grammar school teachers could've heard you say that! Thanks for the wonderful, though unnecessary compliment, Rhonda! I also enjoyed your lovely daughter's cute comment!
Arleen - Did you burn all of your bras again?!
Debra - Yes, I'm also part of the anthology. Robyn's poems are wonderful. Sadly, this was published before she became an expert in erotica! Thanks for the kind words, and
for following me, Debra!
Joanne - You should also take some of your delightful Old Broads poems for a spin, as
we get ready for A to Z. Although it would be fun to sneak a few into the challenge as well. Thanks Joanne!
Love that one.ReplyDelete
And this is from an old flapper.
Did NOT see that coming. Hahahahahahaha.ReplyDelete
Julie, you just had me belting out a really big chuckle. I love this. I don't remember it either. I'm always flap, flap, flapping, even when I'm wearing a bra. No matter how big, or in how many versions, they make those things, they never fit my bulging, long "twins" right.ReplyDelete
This is one of your best! Thanks for bringing back attention to us old broads too.
Love to you.
LOL I couldn't imagine what the flapping was about. Very funny as always, Julie. :)ReplyDelete
Julie - You must've slipped in while I was typing away. Thank you, Julie!Delete
LD - Haha! We'll always have that bond! Thanks LD!ReplyDelete
Robin - I really enjoyed your two part saga with Bryan this week. Hope things have settled down a bit at home. Thanks Robin!
Robyn - I will always be grateful to my favorite Old Broads. Though you were one of the youngest, you made up for it with your unique sense of humor, and sympathy aches and sags! Love right back to you!
LOL! I love it!ReplyDelete
Carol - I was just thinking that I needed to see what was happening at The Tiki Hut! Sorry I'm so late to the party. Thanks Carol!Delete
Oh, that made me grin and chuckle.ReplyDelete
I'm always flapping trying to remember what I'm this room for or what I came to get. Course I also flap, at times, for the same reason the kid mentioned, lol!
Sia McKye Over Coffee
I'm stopping by as many blogs as I can while getting ready for the A to Z Challenge next month. Good luck with the challenge and if you get a chance, why not stop by my blog at http://www.donnalmartin.com? I write children's books, middle grade and young adult...
Donna L Martin
Hilarious. I once went for an appointment at an osteopath without a bra on. He asked me to strip to my bra and pants. Most embarrassing half hour I've ever experienced!ReplyDelete
Hi Rosalind - Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner - Internet problems again. What a great story, though I'm sure you couldn't wait to get out of there at the time! The osteopath should have paid YOU for the exam!Delete
Sia - I always get frustrated when that happens to me too. I feel like I'm constantly retracing my steps. We flappers have to stick together! Thanks Sia!ReplyDelete
Donna - Glad you stopped by, and I'll pop in over the weekend! I can't believe A to Z is almost here!
This is fantastically hilarious. I hope this isn't in my future (as gravity is not kind to men in that area, either...)ReplyDelete
Better put on a bra.ReplyDelete
You'll put your eye out.
That gave me a good laugh. I was going to say that could be me until I got to the end.ReplyDelete
A to Z Challenge Co-host
Tossing It Out
LOL! Thanks for that. I thought this was going to be a sad poem until I got to the twist. :-)ReplyDelete
I love it.ReplyDelete
OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!ReplyDelete
Old guys shouldn't be streakers.
OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
Testicles in the sneakers.
B & B - If you're really that worried, you can always start wearing the Manzare or the Bro as a preventative! Haha! You'll both be fine, and you're the ones who are "fantastically hilarious!" Thanks Bryan and Brandon!ReplyDelete
Al - I'm not that flexible.
Lee - I think we can all relate to being forgetful. Thanks Lee!
Caryn - It's always better when we can laugh at ourselves. Thanks Caryn!
Blue Grumpster - I really enjoyed your poem this week too! Thanks Blue!
Al - Now that's more like it! Talk about lovely imagery!
Why I never go commando.Delete
Oh, my, I think I just made myself ill.Delete
Yes, I follow you via gfc #443, follow back?ReplyDelete
Funny stuffs, GEM JULIE! I remember highlighting this one in my copy of 'OLD BROADS...' In fact, I thought I'd be precise and even mention the page number that it's on, but after a 20 minute search through this book-strewn place of disarray I just moved into, I gave up... temporarily.ReplyDelete
I had one "Ah-ha!" moment when I saw a bright yellow spine but discovered it wasn't 'Old Broads...' but Beer Boy Bryan's 'Demetri And The Banana Flavored Rocketship' (logically tucked in between 'The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn' and 'Dark Moon: Apollo And The Whiste-Blowers').
Then when I found my copy of 'Real Men Don't Eat Quiche' hiding in my political books section, I knew I wasn't going to locate my 'Old Broads...' until I get myself a lot more organized. Yeah, like that's gonna happen this month.
'Loyal American Underground'
Tijana - Thank you, and I will do the same!ReplyDelete
Stephen - I'm worn out just thinking about all the trouble you've gone through! You need to take a break from your big move, and just put your feet up for a while if you can find the coffee table! I wish you lots of success in your new place, and can't wait to hear all about your adventures in Reno. Oh, it's on page 102, and I only know that because I keep a copy on my nightstand. Thanks for making my day, Stephen!
Very funny. Very funny. Very Funny.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much, Yvonne! Glad you thought it was uplifting!Delete
I am printing out the toilet paper roll sign. It may not work, but one can only hope.ReplyDelete
Lee - Haha! Thanks Lee!Delete