Tuesday, April 30, 2019
IWSG: Hubby's Selective Hearing Powers
It's time for another edition of the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Be sure to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh and the rest of the talented bloggers who are always willing to lend a helping hand.
Hubby's Selective Hearing Powers
My husband and I had to make some adjustments almost two years ago when we moved from our two-story family home to a small apartment. But I thought our close surroundings would make it easier for us to communicate.
Though I have the uncanny ability to be able to lie in bed and hear my husband enjoying a grape in the kitchen, he often doesn't hear me even when I'm standing right next to him. He has no desire to try a hearing aid, and often blames me for mumbling. Afterward when I intentionally mumble an unkind word or two about him, he has no trouble hearing that.
Fast forward to our Passover Seder on April 19th. My aunt and uncle hosted the holiday and generously asked my husband to lead the Seder. In all fairness, my husband was a huge help for the holidays. Not only did he do all of the shopping in preparation, but he even made the Charoset for the Seder plate.
Charoset is made from chopped nuts, grated apples, cinnamon and sweet red wine. It represents the mortar used by the Hebrew slaves to build the pyramids of Egypt.
My brother always volunteers to be in charge of the seating chart, and somehow he never fails to be surrounded by the same people on any given occasion. For example, whether it's my birthday or Mother's Day, you can always find him seated in between his biggest fans, my two sons.
Since I was not the official host of this holiday dinner, my brother followed my aunt's lead. However, once his nephews took their seats he quickly positioned himself next to them. Meanwhile, my husband and I were seated at the opposite end of the table with the other grownups.
At one point there were three distinct conversations going on simultaneously at the dinner table. Though I was seated at elbow's length from my husband, for some reason he didn't seem to hear me when I asked him to pass a heavy platter. Yet, he had no trouble hearing the conversation between my brother and son from clear across the table.
I tried asking again. This proved to be a waste of time, as my brother added a hilarious punchline to my son's story and now my husband was drowning in laughter. Of course the middle of the table had no idea what he was laughing at.
I couldn't take it anymore. Here I had done a lot of the cooking and I was asking for very little in return. Finally, I looked directly at my husband and bellowed, "What am I, chopped liver?"
Then he passed me the chopped liver. Unfortunately, we were eating dessert at the time.
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Hi Julie - gosh ... what did everyone else say? How funny you also had liver on the table, but were on desserts ... so wonderful to read about after the event - at the time ... did you all laugh? Yes selective hearing is wonderful or not - as the case may be ... love it! Cheers HilaryReplyDelete
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Oh dear! Sometimes the hearing isn't intentionally selective. I believe it is the ability to hear high tones that goes first. I work for a council on aging and happen to have a high voice. When a hard of hearing client can't understand me, I deepen my voice and voila! Not sure what your voice tone is, but perhaps it's worth a try with your husband.ReplyDelete
I think my wife and I are developing the same kind of selective hearing. We just blame it on aging hearing.ReplyDelete
Hahahahaha! Funny, but aggravating too, isn't it!ReplyDelete
That's funny, but aggravating. And too bad your husband doesn't get hearing aids because he is probably really missing out on a lot.ReplyDelete
I live your life. After losing his hearing over a number of years and blaming me for mumbling and having a bad NY accent ( I have not lived in NY for 50+ yrs.), My Retired Man finally got very expensive hearing aids. They haven’t helped - me. During his years of ignoring his hearing loss, he lost his ability to listen. Everything has to be repeated and the word most said in our conversations is ‘huh’. However, his hearing is selective as he never has problems hearing other people or a baseball game on TV. This is the fate of many wives.ReplyDelete
My father (RIP) had excellent selective hearing.ReplyDelete
I had a great-aunt who refused to get hearing aids. When my father would call her on the telephone, we all had a great time yelling at her. The neighbors must have thought we were an extremely argumentative bunch. They wouldn't have been entirely wrong.
Oh Julie, thank you for the laugh.ReplyDelete
As per usual, there's never a dull moment here at your blog.
Happy IWSG Day.
Hope you're well!
I love this post. My husband has also developed selective hearing. He has hearing aides but doesn't bother to wear them so I can hear the dialogue from whatever TV show he's watching from every room in the house. The next time you need him to pass a platter, use the poke-him-with-a-fork method of getting his attention.ReplyDelete
(And my 20 year old grandson knows if I send him a text signed Chopped Liver, I'm feeling neglected and want a phone call.)
What is it with men and their hearing? Hubs has hearing aids, which he refuses to use. So that necessiatated the purchase of TV Ears, lest the neighbors complain about the volume of the t.v. (he wouldn't hear ME complaining, that's for sure). I do take comfort that this seems to be a universal problem, given the other comments. Thanks for the laugh!ReplyDelete
Hi Hilary, You made a good point about the chopped liver. Fortunately, it was a cool evening, but it is best not to let it linger too long unrefrigerated. Years ago I pretended to make the chopped liver myself and my great aunt asked, “Did you render the fat?” I think she was on to me. Thank you, Hilary!ReplyDelete
Sameer - I probably should’ve called you to pick me up and take me out of my misery! But I really wanted some dessert first. Thank you!
Liza - So true about high pitched voices. I have a deep throaty voice. The other day I whistled a tune for my brother and he said that I should sign up for a baritone whistling competition. That’s why I think my husband has selective hearing. He can hear me anytime, but it’s much more exciting to hear what our boys are up to. Sounds like you do very rewarding work. Thanks Liza!
Alex - Now that you mention it, I notice it happening occasionally to me too. It’s nice that you and your wife can joke about it. If my husband didn’t have a good sense of humor, he would’ve probably stopped putting up with me years ago! Thanks for hosting another great IWSG, Alex!ReplyDelete
Debra - Yes and YES! Though it’s more fun to write about these “funny & aggravating” things, my husband has been tremendously helpful to me in so many ways. I’m also grateful he has no desire to write about all the silly and annoying things that I do! Thanks Debra!
Natalie - I try to be a pretty good translator, so he doesn’t miss out on too much when I’m around. I have heard that there are problems with even some of the best hearing aids (see Arleen’s comment) and selective hearing is a bird of a different feather. Thanks Natalie!
Arleen - If you replace “huh?” with “hmm?” we could be doppelgängers! My husband also loves watching baseball, but he doesn’t always have the TV blasting cause he can follow the game and see the score. Accents are also a problem for him. I wish we lived near each other, so we could set up a play date! Of course they’d probably have no trouble hearing each other and just look at us like we’re the crazy ones! You always brighten my day, Arleen!ReplyDelete
Cie - Funny about your dad and great aunt! I’m sure she really appreciated your phone calls. Now you have to be so careful about yelling even if it’s the only way you can communicate. Where’s the fun in that? Thanks Cie!
Michelle - That’s quite a compliment coming from one of the most creative bloggers I know! It’s great to see you! Thanks Michelle!
LD- My hubby tried a device to help him hear the TV better, but he stopped using it because it amplified the background sounds. For example, if he ate nuts or popcorn during a movie, the crunching sounds would drown out the dialogue. I can also relate from hearing every word on TV when I’m not in the room. I’ve told him that I feel like I ‘m in the movie “The Days of Wine and Roses,” only instead of dragging me down the path of alcoholism, he’s leading me out of the hearing world. I hope it doesn’t come to that. This could turn into the new secondhand smoke. I love how you sign your grandson’s texts! Thanks LD!ReplyDelete
Lee - It is nice to know that we’re not in this alone, though it will probably make us lose our minds and our hearing! But if we do lose our minds first, we won’t care about anything else. I’m glad to have someone else to laugh about this with. Welcome to the club! Thanks Lee!
I think it's a common affliction of men in their age group. Either that, or we are married to the same man.ReplyDelete
The chopped liver part had me laughing. :PReplyDelete
Rhonda - At least we can laugh about this together! I know your hubby has many admirable qualities which include your adventurous spirit, so I’m not too worried. Thanks Rhonda!ReplyDelete
Chrys - Sometimes people take my stories too seriously and fail to see the humor in them. So it means a lot to me to receive positive feedback. Thank you, Chrys!
It's a guy thing, or maybe just an old husband thing. For years, mine has yelled at me for both mumbling and not paying attention. In other words, according to him, he couldn't hear me because I wasn't speaking loudly enough, and I couldn't hear him because I wasn't listening. (Even though we already knew I had some hearing loss...but not nearly as bad as HIS.) Well, one day I was in the bathroom, um, minding my own business, and he was sitting in the den watching TV. The doorbell rang. And rang again. He'd told me he was expecting a delivery, so I expected him to answer the darned door. No dice. So I, um, interrupted my business and stomped to the front door. Let's just say I was a bit... annoyed. He apologized and said he didn't hear the doorbell. (which is darned near loud enough to wake the dead) I said, "I KNOW! You need hearing aids!" That dear dear man ordered his hearing aids that very day. And he wears them! NOW... he yells at me for talking too loudly... HA!ReplyDelete
Hi Susan, What a great story, though I’m sorry Smarticus interrupted your um...”business!” Glad the hearing aids are working out well. It must have been hard for you to train yourself to speak at a normal decibel again after all these years, but I’m sure you’ve been a good sport about that. I might have to hire you to come to Chicago to gently consult my husband! You could probably start a new business. Thank you Susan!Delete
GEM JULIE ~ReplyDelete
>>... He has no desire to try a hearing aid, and often blames me for mumbling
Ha!-Ha! That seems to be the classic response to hearing loss. It's always someone else who is mumbling. And of course the person never quite questions why it is that 100% of the people are mumbling.
I remember a doctor who, years ago, was administering to me a hearing test. At one point he asked me, "Did you ever work around airplanes?" When I said no, he asked if I'd been in a Rock band when I was younger. That was when I got the impression that the hearing test wasn't going too well for me.
Fortunately for me, it's only high-end hearing loss, and unless there are competing simultaneous sounds, it doesn't cause me a lot of problems.
Huh?... Did you say something?
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Hi Stephen, Sorry you’re also having some hearing trouble, but it seems you’ve got it under control. Though I pride myself on hearing fairly well, I seem to have more trouble with low talkers. I used to have meetings with a young person who barely spoke above a whisper and I kept hoping someone else would ask her to speak up. They already thought I was the old lady in the group. Thanks Stephen!Delete
Haha! Thanks for sharing this laugh with us. I can empathize with you as my husband seems to have selective hearing at times too.ReplyDelete
Your post made me laugh. I'm not sure if its a guy thing or what but sometimes I'l be talking to my husband and babbling about the day. He'll be reading or whatever and a few minutes after I'm done - because I realize he's not listening or paying attention I'll just walk away and he'll say, 'what's that?' A side from that, I know he needs to get his hearing checked but then he says the same about me haha. I guess we need to make a double appointment.ReplyDelete
Connie - Yes, selective hearing seems to be very catchy. Maybe we should use this time to ask for things that they wouldn’t usually agree to. That might be one way to nip this in the bud! Thanks Connie!ReplyDelete
Saimi - If making the double appointment gets him in the door, then it’s definitely worth a try. Think of all the money he’ll save when he realizes your hearing is tip-top! Thanks Saimi!
Oh darn. Don't hate me for laughing. Promise.ReplyDelete
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Blue - I could never hate you and I’m glad it made you laugh. This confirms that I’ve done my job! Thanks Blue!ReplyDelete
Sameer - I really appreciate your kind words. Thank you!
Thanks for stopping by :)Delete
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