It's time for another edition of the Insecure Writer's Support Group. Be sure to visit Alex J. Cavanaugh and the rest of the talented bloggers who are always willing to lend a helping hand.
As Mother's Day is fast approaching, I hope many families will be able to gather together for safe celebrations this year. In the meantime, I thought I'd re-post this game show parody.
Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters
Host: It's time to play Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters, the only game show where mothers and daughters try to get along to win prizes that the mothers will never be able to operate in the first place. Let's meet the contestants...(He notices that one mother is still trying to climb up into her chair) Do you need some help Dorothy?
Dorothy: No, I'm fine thank you.
Dorothy's daughter: Just grab my hand, and let me give you a boost.
Dorothy: I said I don't need any help. STOP RUSHING ME!
Host: Okay, let's move on to Gladys and her daughter Gretchen. How many times do you call your mother a day?
Host: And you Felicia?
Felicia: I call my mother once a week.
(A loud siren sounds)
Host: Where's Dorothy?
Dorothy's daughter: She fell down and her Life Alert alarm went off.
(The paramedics lift Dorothy into her seat)
Dorothy's daughter: I call my mother six times a day. She hangs up on me, and says, "It's never enough."
(The bell sounds ding ding ding)
Host: You are correct. The answer is, "Never enough." You just won a case of prune juice. You must be very proud of your daughter Dorothy!
Dorothy: Did you see how nice those paramedics were? Why couldn't you have married someone like that?
Host: All right then. Now we'll ask the mothers a question. Gladys when is the last time you said something nice to your daughter?
Gladys: Don't we get a lunch break?
Host: It's only been five minutes. We'll have snacks after the show.
Gladys: But this is when I eat lunch.
Gretchen: Here Mom, I brought you a sandwich. (takes one out of her purse)
Gladys: It's on rye bread. I like a nice roll. I can't eat this. What's wrong with you?
Fanny: I'll take it. I'm starving. (Looks at her own daughter Felicia) Why don't you ever make me lunch?
Host: Fanny, when is the last time you said something nice to your daughter?
Fanny: That's easy. As we were driving over, I told my daughter that her dress was very pretty...
Host: Well, that is nice.
Fanny: And I'm sure that if she lost ten pounds it would actually fit her.
Host: Maybe we should just throw out that question. Dorothy, when was the last time your daughter took you to the doctor?
Dorothy: You know falling down really makes a person thirsty. How come no one offered me a drink or a sandwich?
Host: If you answer the question, I'll get you both.
Dorothy: Okay, yes please.
Host: Yes please what?
Dorothy: I would like both a drink and a sandwich. Soup would be nice too, but I don't want to be a bother.
(Gladys is dashing across the stage with her walker. Her daughter is jogging behind her)
Host: Where are you going?
Gladys: I just remembered I think I forgot to turn off the stove.
Host: Can you have someone else check on it?
Gretchen: It's my stove, and I just got a text that the fire department is heading over to my house.
Gladys: Are we stopping for lunch first, 'cause I still haven't eaten?
Host: Good luck ladies. Be sure to tell us your new address, so we can send you a lifetime supply of incontinence products.
Dorothy: Continents? I can name the continents! There's Asia, Africa.....
Host: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Thanks for playing Meddling Mothers and Disappointing Daughters. (The daughters storm off stage) Aren't you forgetting something? Don't leave me alone with your mothers. Come back!!!
That was hilarious! Dress would look nice if she lost ten pounds - ouch!ReplyDelete
Oh my! Too, too funny...and I work at a senior center!ReplyDelete
That was too funny. Yes, it's never enough for moms. I hope you are including humor in your writing because you are very funny, which is hard for many writers.ReplyDelete
Hahahahahaha, Happy Mother's Day! Prune juice for EVERYONE!ReplyDelete
That was too funny... our moms are really out of this world, aren't they?ReplyDelete
Thanks for the chuckle. Happy IWSG day :)ReplyDelete
Thank you Erika and I hope you have a happy IWSG day too!Delete
Alex - Some mothers just can't help themselves! Thank you so much, Alex!ReplyDelete
Liza - I can only imagine what you've had to deal with at the senior center. You are such a good person, Liza. I remember laughing with my mom when I first wrote this parody years ago. Thanks Liza, and happy Mother's Day!
Natalie - I haven't written anything funny lately other than an occasional witty text or two. Hopefully, something will come to me. Thank you so much for your kind words! Happy Mother's Day, Natalie!
Debra - And she really had to work for it too! Thank you so much, Debra!
Rachna - I completely agree! My mom had a fabulous sense of humor, gave the best advice, always looked beautiful, and I miss her terribly. Thanks Rachna!
Fun! And perfect for Mother's Day.ReplyDelete
Thanks for the fun post.ReplyDelete
Jacqui - Thanks for the kind words! Happy Mother's Day!ReplyDelete
Kelly - I'm glad this made you smile, as we can all use more levity in our lives. Thanks Kelly!
Hi Julie - that was great fun ... and so true ... Mum and I had some amusing times in her last years, she was bedbound, but perfectly able to rebuff acerbically before I'd even finished what I was saying ... then I'd wait a little and burst into laughter, engage her and then she'd start laughing ... sometimes we brought the nursing staff to the room wondering what was going on! One of them (in the early days) was when she shared a room with a Greek lady in the other bed ... thank goodness she couldn't understand ... Mum called her Xerxes ... she never lost her wits! Great fun ... thank you - lovely to see a post from you ... cheers HilaryReplyDelete
Terrific stuffs, GEM JULIE (as usual)!ReplyDelete
I was chuckling all the way through it, but if I HAD to pick a single favorite line, I think it would be this one:
>>... "Soup would be nice too, but I don't want to be a bother."
Guffaw-Out-Loud! How many times have we all heard a variation on that line?!
Even though I thought all of this was funny, I myself can't PERSONALLY relate to most of it, since I was never a son and never had a mother. (As I'm sure you know, I'm the result of a lab experiment that went wrong in 1959 in Ingolstadt, Germany.)
Happy Upcoming Mother's Day, Julie!
And please keep us laughing.
'STEPHEN T. McCARTHY REVIEWS...'
Hi Hilary - I know your mum was a wonderful lady who couldn't have possibly asked for a better daughter. Even on her worst days, I love how she matched wits with you at every turn, and constantly had the staff in stitches! Thanks for being so supportive, Hilary! Could you believe we've known each other for over 10 years? Take care, my friend!ReplyDelete
Stephen - Well, these new birth details certainly explain a lot, but your dear "Ma" still tried her best! So good to see you, and I hope this means you're blogging again. I had to recycle this post, as I'm having trouble getting motivated again. Hope you're doing well Stephen, and thanks for brightening my day!
Sadly, some mothers really don't appreciate their daughters! At least, this 'game' made me laugh (and remember when my MIL said, "You aren't going dressed like that, are you?"). Maybe knowing your story made some of us laugh will help you appreciate your own talents, not so easy these days when so much is going on with so many of us. We need your humor and compassion!ReplyDelete
This is so funny. I always love your humour, and this one, well maybe too close to home for a lot us, but just hilarious.ReplyDelete
Beth - I can't tell you how much I appreciate your kind words! My mom was a bit of all those characters wrapped in a beautiful package, but we always laughed at my silly stories together. I would give anything to be able to share a sandwich on a nice roll with her today. Thank you so much and I hope you have a wonderful Mother's Day, Beth!ReplyDelete
Rhonda - It's always great to see you, Rhonda! I love how you and your family all blog together and haven't let the pandemic slow you down one bit. You're constantly finding new ways to entertain us. Happy Mother's Day and thanks for everything!
This is great! I could see it all coming to pass.ReplyDelete
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