Saturday, April 18, 2015

Percolating Patsy

Percolating Patsy,
Peeled into town.
Parked her Purple Pontiac,
Proceeded to frown.

Proprietor greeted her,
Plopped in her favorite chair.
Prune danish in one hand,
Pretzels near to her beer.

Percy knew she was coming,
Played it cool to the bone.
Placated her with compliments,
Perhaps, now she'd go home.

Patsy, in no hurry to leave,
Packed a pistol in her purse.
Plus a shiv up her sleeve.

People knew why Percy left her,
Pretty girl caught his eye.
Patsy's punch just missed his kisser,
Pirate patch adorned him, "Captain Bligh."

Pleading for forgiveness,
Patsy made no mind.
Pulled her trigger happy finger,
Police arrived just in time.

Prison life far from pleasant,
Petty criminals fought nail and tooth.
Poor guards didn't know what hit them,
Percolating Patsy done blown off the roof!


  1. Clever, Clever you Julie. Loved it.


  2. Patsy don't take nothin' from nobody lol.

  3. "Shiv"--haven't heard that word in years.

  4. Ha ha ha - this is great!!! I love it. You are the Queen of Spontaneous (cough) Alliteration for all time!

  5. This is the weekend before the last full week of A to Z. You’re amazing for staying with us this long. Thanks for your commitment. You’re almost there. This event only happens once a year, so rest up and get ready for the home stretch!

    Stephen Tremp
    A to Z Cohost
    P is for Paranormal Vs. Supernatural

  6. Carole - Thank you so much, Carole!

    Yvonne - Thanks for the kind words, Yvonne!

    Delores - You can say that again!

    Joanne - It's amazing what you can fashion out of a toothbrush!

    Debra - "Proustian?" Hahaha! At first I couldn't believe that you would put me in the same category as Marcel Proust, so then I checked the definition from Urban Dictionary. "Excessively wordy" sounds more like it! Thank you so much, Debra!

    Cherdo - Sorry you almost choked on your words! I am thrilled to be the "Queen of Spontaneous Alliteration!" Hahahha! Thank you, Cherdo!

    Stephen - Rest up, you say?! Thanks for co-hosting, Stephen, and I'm sure you need a lot more rest than I do!

    Brandy - I really appreciate the kind words. Thank you, Brandy!


  7. Patsy sounds like my kind of woman. I'll wait for her...

    GEM JULIE, how DO you come up with this stuffs?

    ~ D-FensDogG

  8. This would make for a fun country music jingle, Julie. I'm impressed with how many Ps you worked into this punchy rhyme. It's a clever story with a (sort of) happy ending. Bravo!

  9. Stephen - She's long gone by now. There was no need to stick around after she blew the roof off. She's no where near good enough for you, Stephen! Now, I'm starting to sound just like her. I come up with this "stuffs" by thinking up words that begin with the letter of the day. I wish I could find a way to make a career out of it, because it's really a lot of fun. Thanks Stephen!

    Robyn - Yes, that's exactly what I was going for! My object was to create a country music parody. You are sharp as a whip, Robyn, but of course, we already knew that! Thanks Robyn!


  10. Oh boy-don't mess with her! This was a great poem and love all the P's

  11. Patsy has declined ~
    Passed on in her prime.
    Propelled herself to heaven's wind ~
    On moonlit nights you'll see her grin.

  12. That was so fun to read! She was a pistol.

  13. Patsy took no lip from no one, no how.

  14. Prune Danish in one hand.
    Oh, good grief, it's prunes!!
    Where's the can!?

  15. wonderful, as always. Poor Patsy in prison with out prunes :(

  16. Replies
    1. Lux - Oops..,I don't know why I didn't see you before. Thank you, Lux!


  17. I hope someone sets this to music. It reminds me of a Beatles song called 'Rocky Raccoon'.

    1. Gorilla - I just downloaded Rocky Raccoon, and I see why you thought this spoof on country/folksy ballads would be a good fit. Thanks for reminding me about this fabulous song, and for putting me in such good company. I hope you haven't been eating too many green bananas!


  18. Birgit - I reckon you is right! Thank you, Birgit!

    Dixie - What a perfect swan song for Patsy! Thanks Dixie!

    Alex - I really had fun writing it! Thanks Alex!

    Susan - Yep, no one dare mess with Patsy! Thanks Susan!

    Al - When is this haiku madness gonna end! Will we wake up on May 1st wondering if this was all a dream? On second thought, don't ever stop, Al!

    Rhonda - Haha! Going without prunes is the least of her worries! Thanks Rhonda!

    Gorilla - Rocky Raccoon is a great song! Actually, I wrote this with more of a country vibe, but It will be fun to try your suggestion. Thanks so much, Gorilla!


    1. I'm not sure. Maybe I'll make it a regular feature like "Captain Caption"?
      Oh, my, listen to "Mr. Hollywood," all of a sudden.

  19. haha wow, don't ever mess with Patsy. Fun indeed at your feed

  20. You've put an entirely new spin on the A to Z. Not just one word with P, but a ton of 'em.

    This was fun. Patsy is quite the character. (And so are you:)

  21. Cindy - Thanks for the kind words, and for following me!

    Pat - You definitely don't want on get on her bad side. Thanks Pat!

    Robin - I started playing around with these letter poems during my first A to Z. Thanks Robin!

    Kathe - Thank you so much, and I appreciate the follow!


  22. Now there's a woman not to cross, EVER! So fun, Julie. Great to read and enjoy today.

  23. Perfect concoction of P words. Loved it. Late to comment but back for more on Monday. Excellent!!!

  24. Lee - You are absolutely right about Patsy! Thank you, Lee!

    Joanne - Don't ever worry about being late here. I'm always far behind when I only blog once a week, so at this rate I don't think I'll be able to catch up until June. Thanks for everything, Joanne!


  25. Hi Julie .. my mother would have loved this .. we had a Purple People Carrier we 'went' around in .. and laughed ourselves silly doing it .. this is great .. so well done - lovely cheerful poem .. cheers Hilary