Julie Kemp Pick
As I eagerly awaited my boys' arrival for summer break, I did a quick sweep of their bedrooms, and went to check on the condition of their bathroom. It desperately needed a mini makeover. A couple of fresh coats of paint, and a power wash for the tile, and the bathroom would be ready just in time for them to turn it into a frat house.
The next day the painter arrived on time, and everything was going smoothly. The walls required sand blasting, because they needed to smooth down the stenciled cowboy designs I had painted in 1994. Hey, I didn't want their delicate noses to inhale dangerous paint fumes, and I also didn't want them to develop a taste for beer, before they were even double digits. Now was the perfect time for a change; while still keeping their allergies at bay. All was calm, until the smoke alarm sounded off.
After I turned the alarm off, I called the alarm company to tell them that the sand blasting must have tripped it. They told me that the firefighters were already on their way. Before I hung up, two fire trucks were in front of my house. I nervously apologized, and they were very gracious and understanding.
Two days later, our handyman was scheduled to clean, re-grout, and seal their bathroom tile. He came a half hour early, before I had taken my shower. While he was working in one bathroom, I was showering in the other. As I was drying off, I heard faint beeping sounds. I quickly put on a faded pink towel robe that was fastened by an unreliable Velcro panel, and opened up my bedroom door. Now the noise was growing louder, and I ran into the hallway to turn off the alarm. Then I frantically flew down the stairs to get the phone number of the alarm company. I was so relieved to have reached them in time. Now I needed to head back upstairs to get dressed.
After I put one sock on, the siren sounded off again. I quickly fled down the stairs, to look up the access code. Then I remembered that the handyman's assistant was working nearby in the first floor bathroom. He pretended not to see me, but I know he also caught a glimpse of my towel robe, gently brushing up against my single tube sock. Meanwhile, the head handyman was trying to clean all of the dust out of the smoke detector, as I was coming up the stairs. Once it was put back together, my Groundhog Morning started up again.
Before the fire department graced our doorstep again, I held on tightly to my repulsive robe, and pleaded with one of the handymen to go outside and apologize for wasting their valuable time. Then I finally convinced the alarm service to temporarily disarm the system. They told me that this whole incident could have been prevented, if the painter had covered the smoke detector with a plastic bag. I'm sure this ordeal made both handymen welcome their wives with a passionate embrace.
That evening my oldest son came home from school, and actually noticed that his bathroom had been painted. He liked the bold color of the accent wall that will serve as a constant reminder. It's just a shade deeper; a spicier version of fire truck red.
A hilarious story well told. (I especially like the image of your robe gently brushing up against your tube sock.)ReplyDelete
Hysterical!! Once again you have made my day with a great laugh from my toes! You need to write a book now, I am still laughing!!!! AngieReplyDelete
Ha ha ha ha. It's a good thing you can laugh at yourself. I like how you ended it, though, with the color of the room.ReplyDelete
I could well imagine this as I was reading.ReplyDelete
Great colour for the room.
@Susan - Thank you, and perhaps it's best to get that image out of your head!ReplyDelete
@Angie - It really means a lot coming from you, as you're incredibly funny! We should work together with some of your great stories!
@Angela - Thanks, I was very lucky they didn't try to take videos of me...unless they're still out there!
@Yvonne - Thanks, it's not too overpowering as it's only an accent wall. The other walls are in the off-white family.
I'm with Susan here. Hilarious image of robe brushing up against single tube sock. Brilliant but so sorry you had such a stressful time of it.ReplyDelete
Another very funny post. Sounds you find the fun in anything. And why would you put a plastic bag over the smoke alarm rather than simply pulling the battery?ReplyDelete
@Rosalind - I was just happy to gain some new material! Thanks for following me, and I'll check in on you!ReplyDelete
@Rhonda - This smoke detector is wired to the alarm company which sends a signal to the fire dept., so there's no battery. As for the bag, I wanted to put one over my head from embarrassment!
I'm marred for life...tube socks and flashing robes! I think we may be related. At least the alarm company did not tell the fire department you were in the tub with the painter! Too, funny!ReplyDelete
How ironic that you chose a deeper version of "fire truck red". Was it fate?ReplyDelete
@Jody - I think I like your version better! That would've been a great punchline! Thanks for stopping by!ReplyDelete
@lrk - Fate may have played a part in it. On the other hand, it may have helped that I fell in love with the cayenne red wall in your kitchen!
Haha! Love it, Julie. Your little tales like this never fail to make me giggle.ReplyDelete
Thanks for more laughs! You have the funniest stories. I agree with others, the image of the robe and the single tube sock is classic. :DReplyDelete
Me again. I forgot that in the states you can hook your smoke alarm to the fire department. Just stopping back to bestow upon you the Versatile Blogger award. LOL, I know you already have one, but it's not up here yet and I wanted your link on my list, so now you get it again. Stop by my post (linked to my name) for your award (and to see the rules, which you can ignore if you want).ReplyDelete
@Talli - Thank you and welcome back from your blogcation! Congrats on Willow!ReplyDelete
@Julie - You're involved in so many noble causes and I'm just plugging away here one sock at a time. It just doesn't seem right. Thank YOU!
@Rhonda - Congrats on winning 2 outstanding awards! Thanks for sharing 1 of them with me, and for all of your blogging expertise. I look forward to returning the favor!
Oh, how funny! *wiping tears* You got a great room out of that, though! ;)ReplyDelete
I hope you had a great mother's day!
YA Paranormal Romance Darkspell coming fall of 2011!
Can Alex save Winter from the darkness that hunts her?
Thanks so much Elizabeth! Congratulations on your new book! It sounds like a great read! JulieReplyDelete
Ha ha ha ... a good story to give me a chuckle as i wind up a hectic day. Thanks.ReplyDelete
Sorry you had such a time but it certainly did make for some hilarity for the readers! LOLReplyDelete
Too funny! Enjoyed reading this so much! Your boys are blessed to have you as a mother.ReplyDelete
Hi Julie .. aren't we just so much more relaxed about these things now-a-days .. 20 or 30 years ago we'd have been fully dressed, duster in hand etc ..ReplyDelete
Good story to dine out on! The fact about covering up the alarm never seems to get done by the workmen .. working at Mum's Nursing Home - they didn't do it either .. and the whole thing was a nightmare .. just noisy and unnecessary!
Glad you're alright and your son acknowledged your handywork! Did you get to put sock number two on? Cheers Hilary
Hi Hilary, I ended up having to replace the alarm, and now I have a perfect fitting cap to put over it, if anymore dusty work needs to be done. It's still quite chilly here, so I'm wearing 2 socks at the moment! Thanks for dropping by. JulieReplyDelete
You discuss your appearance frequently and have mentioned that you wear robes often. Is this because you are suffering from the dreaded muffin top, infamous rear end cleavage or embarrassing underarm spillage? I strongly suggest purchasing the Genie bra and Kyamaro curve controlled jeans. They've worked for me.ReplyDelete
Hi Anon - Yes, no, maybe sometimes. I didn't think you cared anymore! I will look into your suggestions, and discuss it with my friends at the FD. You should be a proud cross-dresser, and sign your name!ReplyDelete
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