Wednesday, August 27, 2014

The Blame Game


                                                                         
www.dreamstime.com
   
Host: Welcome to The Blame Game where children blame their parents for everything that's gone wrong in their lives and vice versa! Let's get started by introducing the Weasel family. Curt Weasel is a student at Cal State, and he's here with his parents. What are you studying, Curt?

Curt Weasel: Human behavior, social habits, movement and motion...

Host: So you're a psych major?

Mrs. Weasel: Not quite. He's been living on campus for two years trying to find himself. Though he's been accepted by the university, Curt hasn't officially accepted them. He's decided to live on campus for a probationary period until he's made his decision.

Host: So Curt has all of the benefits of college without actually being a student. Does he work to help cover his expenses?

Mr. Weasel: Does Curt work? No, finding himself is a full-time occupation. I, on the other hand work two jobs, and his mother runs a cathouse.

Host: Do you enjoy taking care of cats, Mrs. Weasel?

Mrs. Weasel: Well, the big tippers aren't so bad, but some of them are a literal pain in the butt.

Mr. Weasel: I thought you had that looked at?

Host: Considering the sacrifices your parents have made for you, what do you blame them for?

Curt: Just look at them. Mom's losing her teeth, and Dad wears socks with sandals. I can't be seen with them in public. They're an embarrassment.

Host: And Mr. and Mrs. Weasel, what do you blame Curt for?

Mrs. Weasel: He's such a sweet boy, but we do wish he'd call or write more often.

Host: Let's have the audience decide who is more to blame.

They tabulate the votes from the audience. Buzzers are beeping and lights are flashing. After a brief commercial break, the winner is announced.

Host: Well, the audience has made their decision. It was a very close race, but Curt is the winner! Let's find out what Curt has won.

The audience is simultaneously applauding, while cheering Curt's name.

Off-stage Announcer: Curt has won an all-expense-paid trip to a luxury resort in Maui where he'll have fun in the sun by day, and enjoy fine dining and entertainment by night.

Host: Curt, normally we provide a trip for two, but in this case you're entitled to bring two guests with you on this once in a lifetime adventure!

Mr. and Mrs. Weasel smile as they hold Curt close.

Curt: That's great! I could really use the time off. I think I'll bring these two hot girls I met backstage with me. Come on out ladies!

Two bimbos come out from behind the curtain. Curt places an arm around each girl, and exits the stage. Curt's parents and the host are left standing with their mouths wide open. 

Cue The Blame Game theme music. 



34 comments:

  1. A game I can relate to. Two of my children blame me for something(I don't know what as they haven't spoken in years) Wish they had the courage to tell me. I miss them terribly and the grandchildren.
    Excellent post.
    Yvonne.

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  2. Unfortunately, there are too many Weasels that raise Curts today.

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  3. I think I met Curt Weasel once. He was a real piece of work.

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  4. Yvonne - I'm so sorry that you're still going through this. It's absolutely awful that your children, and grandchildren don't know how much they're missing out on.

    Miranda - We have to hope that things never get to that point, and continue to appreciate each other more.

    Arleen - It's a question of who's raising who?!

    Keith - He is the worst example of the "me generation."

    Carol - I'm sure others like him have roamed the earth for years!

    Julie

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  5. Right now, there are a lot of Curts in the world. When they get dumped out into the real world though they are in for a big surprise.

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  6. Oh my. I'm going to second what Alex said. No offence to Curt, but I really want to drop kick him right about now. =)

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  7. If Curt won an all expense trip, then he has to pay for it. It's not an all expenses paid trip. Suck on that, Curt.

    Love,
    Janie

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  8. Julie: You win!!! You have written a post (as only you could) that has everyone in agreement. I feel terrible for Curt's future children. I hope he finds (and, of course, does not marry) a wonderful woman who will care for them while he is still finding himself at age 40. Come to think of it, I believe I know Curt.

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  9. I blame Bush.
    I hear that's the thing nowadays.

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  10. In Curt's defense, his father wears socks with sandals.

    Ah, Julie, another great game for the whole family. We can all relate. You really should market these gems.

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  11. I don't think Curt noticed the omission of the word paid in all expense trip. Looks like he and his two lady friends won't be having too much fun after all. Do you think Curt will blame his parents for this? ; (


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  12. Julie - I love the mini story and unfortunately this type of situation happens too often. We, as parents, have tried our best to raise our children with good values and morals. But throughout their childhood, they really didn't lack for much. Therefore, they are a "gimmie generation." I'm as guilty as any other parent, although my daughter didn't pull this stunt. ha ha

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  13. Human parents are just too soft-hearted to let their offspring fend for themselves. It's what happens to primates when they stop foraging for their own food. I know a harem of female gorillas who would sort Curt out in a jiffy.

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  14. Alex - You are absolutely right my friend!

    Crystal - Seems like Curt has had that drop kick coming to him for a long time!

    Janie - Aah, the irony! That no good off-stage announcer got it all wrong! He's been let go, and the corrections are in place. Thanks for being a great blog detective, Janie!

    JJ - You have written many profound posts about the "me generation," so I'm glad you approve. We all know someone that shares some of Curt's selfish qualities. I hope we never meet anyone who's this extreme. Thanks JJ!

    Al - I do not disagree.

    Robyn - It is hard to erase that image from your mind! Thanks for always making my day, Robyn!

    Susanne - He would definitely blame them until the announcer came clean. You and Janie noticed the error before I did. Now it's all straightened out, and once again the world is unfair. Thanks Susanne!

    Mary - I'm not surprised that your daughter turned out so well. After all, she has you for a mom!

    Gorilla - Now that my younger son is back at home, I would love to have him go "foraging" for his own food, though he did thank us for taking him grocery shopping today. If he ever tries to be like Curt, it's nice to know I could send him off to your gorilla harem for some "sorting out!"

    Julie

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  15. I'm really glad I don't have a Curt around. I don't need that and book reviewers. Loved the post, Julie. Enjoyed the snark at the end of my day.

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  16. The older I get, the more I appreciate my parents making me go to a community college before they'd foot the bill for me to attend a state university. They said if I made it through two years there and kept my grades up, they'd let me transfer. I didn't get it at the time, but now I do!

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  17. Curt needs some lessons in gratitude, I do believe! Fun piece and I agree with Miranda above. This doesn't sound very far off from much of what is on television these days!

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  18. Lee - It would be funny if Curt became a book reviewer! Thanks Lee!

    Stephanie - Your parents gave you a great incentive to do well in school, and it obviously paid off!

    Connie - Curt definitely needs some lessons in gratitude! Anything is possible on TV now. They even have a show on VH1 called Dating Naked! Thanks Connie!

    Julie

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  19. Like so many above said, there are too many Curts and too many Weasels. Seems so few take responsibility for anything these days.

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  20. Rhonda - We just have to be grateful that our kids turned out okay.

    Julie

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  21. I do feel for parents these days. But sadly, Curts are everywhere. But I do believe in a SMALL way parents are the blame ... NOW WAIT!!!!! Let me explain...because they want to give their kids EVERYTHING to make them happy and have a better childhood than theirs', they make the mistake by overcompensating and SPOILING their kids into Curts.....

    My parents were strict but loving. I paid rent when I started working at 17 and paid for my own college education too. It was hard, but I lived through it. Kids need responsibility when they turn a certain age. When I see parents picking up fourteen plus year olds at school when there is ample public transportation in Chicago I must admit I cringe.

    Sorry parents. I am NOT picking on you, just stating my observations.

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  22. Were the audience members given b-b guns before the show? Was there any way to electrocute Curt? Perhaps a trap door with the hot babes?

    Sadly, this seems to be a trend.

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  23. Michael - It is true how many parents "overcompensate" to make sure that their children's lives are better than their own. I'm also guilty of this to some extent. Curt is an extreme example of what could happen to a child who has never heard the word "no."

    I'm impressed that you worked your way through college. Your parents instilled a strong work ethic in you that is evident in everything you do.

    Susan - All great suggestions, though the trap door is my favorite! On second thought, he deserved all three!

    Julie

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  24. Oh yeah. I was thinking I'd already left a comment here, but I only kinda sorta did. From the Facebook side of things, but them after I wrote the comment, Blogger wanted me to sign in... and write a new comment. Crap. Didn't have time. Then I forgot. (sigh)

    Okay, anyhow, I LOVE this post. No surprise. Your cleverness is showing big time. Oops. Time to go feed Smarticus... (Three times a day, he expects food... EVERY day!)

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  25. Oh, the world is full of 'Curts'. We also have some! Too many parents waiting for their Curt to take notice of them.

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  26. Susan - That is quite a compliment coming from such a witty and clever writer. Oh, and it serves you right for being such a good cook! Thanks Susan!

    Nas - The problem is too many parents want to be friends with their kids. We never got away with anything, because we were afraid of our parents!

    Julie

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  27. This was funny and spot on. I know way too many Curts. Thankfully none of those Curts are friends or acquaintances. Don't want that kind of blame shifting onto yourself...

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  28. Bwahahahahahaha! I would comment, but I'm laughing way too hard! :) We have one that moved back in after college graduation for "just a year, Mom." It's been 17 months and there's no sign of her leaving. She knew what she wanted to major in, she just doesn't know what she wants to do for an actual job. Ha!

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  29. B & B - Sadly, there are too many people who remind us of Curt. You're smart to stay clear of them!

    Empty Nester - Hopefully, she'll figure it out soon. Though it's not easy, I've heard of the other extreme where graduates move out immediately, and have no idea how they're going to come up with their rent money. Of course they're just waiting for their parents to send them a check. Good luck to you, and your daughter!

    Julie

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  30. LOL I think my favorite part of the whole thing is the cathouse bit. So naughty, Julie. :D

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