IWSG Guide: How Selling Yourself Short Might Shortchange You

                                                                       

Alex J. Cavanaugh has decided to take the IWSG to a new level with The Insecure Writer's Support Group Guide To Publishing and Beyond.  As the group enters its third year, as well as the first anniversary of the IWSG website, Alex is compiling a book to assist other writers in the areas of writing, publishing, and marketing.  For a sneak preview, be sure to visit all of the talented writers here.  Below is my cutting room floor contribution for consideration in the Guide.

                                                 

 How Selling Yourself Short Might Shortchange You

Oh, how I loved to sing. As high school thespians, we would often burst into song like the characters in Glee. I didn't realize how annoying that habit was until I decided to belt out some Ethel Merman show tunes during a long drive home. My "older" boyfriend was too polite to say anything, as I sang for an audience of one in an enclosed vehicle with enough vibrato to fill an auditorium. When he pulled into my driveway his head was throbbing so heavily that he didn't even bother to walk me to the door. Any false sense of bravado I had was lost that day. It must have somehow disappeared along with my phone number.

This is only one of many stories that led me to join the Insecure Writer's Support Group in 2011. As the group was celebrating its third anniversary in early September, I was also celebrating the publication of our anthology, Old Broads Waxing Poetic. Our team of eight witty and wonderful writers, includes two other members of the IWSG. After we got the word out on our blogs, and other social media, the hardest part was marketing to friends and family.

Upon recovering from the initial shock that I was finally published,  a few friends offered to buy the book. I could tell they were just trying to be nice, so I foolishly said, "That's okay. You don't have to." I gave them an out, and they took it. What I should have said was, "That's great! All proceeds are going to Care International. Thank you!"

I didn't want them to feel obligated, and I couldn't be more wrong. I was playing the restaurant game. We've all played it. The bill comes, and one person grabs the check. He or she offers to pay. You initially say that it's not necessary, and offer to split it. The person insists, and you say thank you. I was waiting for the "I insist" round that never came.

Though some older family members wanted to help out, they were concerned about providing personal information to Amazon, as well as shipping charges. They offered to reimburse me, after I ordered copies for them. I was glad they weren't the least bit worried about me sharing personal information. I tried to explain how to access an Amazon card, but they didn't seem interested.

My closest friend surprised me by buying five copies. She gave one to each of her sisters-in-law who enjoyed it so much they're planning on buying some additional copies to send to their friends. Last week she also gave books to two more friends when we were at her house for a holiday dinner. Then  I realized she had given all five copies away. As if reading my mind, she said, "Don't worry, I'll order some more copies." When I started to argue she didn't hesitate to add, "I insist."


This is my entry for consideration in The IWSG Guide To Publishing and Beyond. If accepted, I give permission to include this entry in the anthology.

My Bio: Julie Kemp Pick writes about family humor often featuring her rebellious mom, and blogs at  http://emptynestinsider.blogspot.com/

When IWSG and A to Z Collide

 

                       
It's time for another edition of  Alex J. Cavanaugh's, Insecure Writer's Support Group. Be sure to visit this encouraging group of bloggers. This year, the first Wednesday in April coincides with the letter "B" in the  A to Z Blogging Challenge. Although I won't be participating this year, I'd like to offer some suggestions on how to creatively combine the two.


                                                      


Three year participant Al Penwasser will also not be part of the festivities this year, in order to work on his hilarious new book. However, he mentioned that he might re-post some of his favorite alphabet stories. This reminded me of my three posts for the letter "B," and how they would fit into the IWSG.

In 2011, I wrote about Battling Bulges. As writers, we often need to trim the fat from our stories, before we become overstuffed on adjectives, and run-on sentences.

The following year was all about the Brutality of Bra Shopping. Many readers are in search of an uplifting experience, and it's our job to provide it for them. Though sometimes it's difficult to find the perfect fit, especially when our audience outgrows our material. Somehow that didn't happen in our YA days.

Last spring, my topic for "B" was on Beauty Shop Bullies. This subject provides three options for the IWSG.  Bloggers have their choice of beauty shops, bullies, or both. Though I can't imagine anyone else has encountered an eighty something year old bully at their mother's beauty shop. There are bullies who do try to discourage us from writing, and there are plenty of writers who are insecure about their hair. Although we can all agree that Alex, and Arlee are a cut above the rest.

I look forward to cheering on the wonderful A to Z blogging community. I'll never forget my very first challenge in 2011. It was shortly after I started blogging, and I had no idea what to expect. When I told my mom that I was going to be extremely busy that April, she replied without missing a beat, "I'll try not to die this month." Thankfully, she kept her promise.

IWSG: Pick Your Battles

     

I can't believe that this is the last 2013 post for  Alex J. Cavanaugh's Insecure Writer's Support Group.  Fortunately, you can head on over to the official  IWSG Website which is open 24/7 to get you through those rough patches that don't always fall on the first Wednesday of every month.  

A few months ago, I was at a dinner party when I noticed that the hostess had a little something in her nose. I decided to ignore it hoping that someone else would mention it.  A moment later, the object had mysteriously made its way to the tip of her nose. A male guest took me aside, and suggested that I tell her "woman to woman."   

I gathered all of my courage, and gently approached her in the kitchen. She asked me exactly where it was, and then she just flicked it away with her fingers. Afterward, she continued to serve dessert without even washing her hands.

I on the other hand, would have slithered into the bathroom, and blown my nose so hard that the room would've shaken. Then I would've inspected my nose from every angle with a magnifying glass to insure that there was nothing on the horizon. Afterward, I would've scrubbed my hands, and sanitized the magnifying glass before serving the next course. If some of the guests decided to leave during this long and drawn out process, then so be it.  For those who have decided to stay, there is a point to this madness.

What if I remained silent. Would the object have eventually fallen in to our food anyway, or would it have simply vanished in to the background? As writers, is it better to let the chips fall where they may, or do we have to speak up, and give an honest critique of every chapter?

I've learned a lot from the Insecure Writer's Support Group, and often writers say how they don't choose their stories, because their stories choose them. I'm still waiting to tell my story, but my fear is that no one will want to read it. Oh sure, they'll be very polite about it, but how will I really know if it's worthwhile?

In other words, you can pick your friends, you can pick your Internet provider, but if your story is lacking, you risk getting  picked on, or picked over. After months of hard work, finding out that your story is nothing more than a runny mess can really burst your nose bubble.

                                             

Wanting To Be In Two Places

I will be interrupting the Insecure Writer's Support Group to share a personal story. Be sure to visit  Alex J. Cavanaugh  and the rest of the talented members.

On July 21 we received word that my mother-in-law was rushed to the hospital in Israel. She was unconscious, and was put on a ventilator. The doctors ruled out a stroke, and began treating her for an infection of unknown origin. Our cousins were wonderful about staying by her bedside, and keeping us apprised. When her condition wasn't improving, my husband made arrangements to fly out to see her.

In the meantime, his younger brother was suffering from liver failure. The cancer began in his colon six years ago, and had spread to his lymph nodes, liver and lungs. Though he was in a great deal of pain, he never complained, and agreed that it was important for my husband to leave the country to be with their mother.

We saw his brother the day before my husband left for Israel. He seemed happy to see us, and even joked around a bit. Our sister-in-law told us that they were going to Michigan for the weekend. We reminisced about some of my brother-in-law's major accomplishments, as they were in a family business together for more than thirty five years. When he went to take a nap, I asked his wife if my husband should postpone his trip to Israel. She felt badly that he was put in this position, but encouraged him to see his mother.

I offered to go with my husband or in his place. Because our older son was busy studying for the bar exam, and our younger son was getting ready for summer school finals, my husband thought that I was needed at home. After he arrived, he phoned to let us know that my mother-in-law was improving. He also received a reassuring email from my sister-in-law stating that his brother was feeling a little more like himself.

When I called to check-in later the following day, a close family friend told us that his condition had worsened. My brother-in-law had to have his abdominal cavity drained for the second time in two weeks, and he was sleeping from all of the medication. They seemed to be exhausted, so I said that I'd bring our boys over on Saturday.

Because there is an eight hour time difference between Chicago and Israel it was already Shabbat there. My husband's relatives are very religious, and will not speak on the telephone or use any electronic devices from sundown on Friday to sundown Saturday. I was frantically trying to reach him early Saturday morning, but he never got the message at the hotel. He was with his mother in the hospital where they also observed Shabbat,

In the midst of all of this, my son was moving into a new apartment. His plan was to set everything up, so that he could be closer to where he was taking the bar exam. I finally was able to reach my husband when Shabbat ended, and asked him to come home as soon as possible to see his brother. He also felt terrible and was waiting for his mother to be released from the hospital.

I tried to prepare our sons, but their once exuberant uncle lay jaundiced and weak in a hospital bed in the bedroom he shared with his wife. He tried to sit up to greet us, but he just didn't have the strength. I told him that he was the bravest man I knew, and that he didn't have to be brave anymore. My sister-in-law and nephew were also in the room with us, and we all fought back the tears.

My husband booked an earlier flight home, and was scheduled to arrive on the first day of our older son's bar exam, which was also our younger son's birthday. While I was scrambling the night before to buy him a birthday present, I came home with two right shoes.

Sadly, my husband didn't make it home in time.  At the airport, I gave him the horrific news that his little brother had passed away earlier that morning.

My brother-in-law was a wonderful man who went out of his way to make everyone else feel comfortable during his illness. He always greeted everyone with a joke and a smile. His dear friend did an exceptional job capturing his spirit in his eulogy. We sat with the rabbi telling stories with our sister-in-law, niece and nephew which helped in the healing process. In one day, my husband lost his brother, business partner and best friend.