Just when you thought all of your worries were over after your kids have graduated from college, and your parents have settled into retirement homes, studies remind us how naive we've been. As oncologist and vice-provost at the University of Pennsylvania, Ezekiel Emanuel wrote in The New York Times, "Combine retirement communities, longer life, unfamiliarity with condoms and Viagra - and what do you get? You get an STD epidemic among the social security generation that rivals what we imagine is happening in those 'Animal House' fraternities."
According to The Australian, due to the high volume of retirees living in Florida, "Sexually promiscuous older men have been dubbed 'condo cowboys." They obviously have no problem getting back on the saddle again, but it's a lot quicker to just hop on the elevator.
Healthline cited some disturbing statistics,"Unfortunately, sexually transmitted diseases are rising among adults 55 and up as well. AARP accounts that in a recent five-year period, reported cases of both syphilis and chlamydia increased 43 percent. In areas with large retirement communities, reported cases of these STD's increased twice as quickly as the national average."
Thoughts immediately started racing through my head about poor, innocent Mom. It really didn't set my mind at ease knowing that her nickname in assisted living is "Gorgeous." Maybe I had nothing to worry about, as my mom always picked apart the men, and said that none of them were her type. She also does everything in her power to ward off germs, and has a bottle of Purel attached to her walker at all times. Nonetheless, I decided to call her with these startling statistics.
After I filled her in on the spike of STD's in senior housing, she assured me that she was perfectly safe. She promised to continue to ward off any inappropriate advances, if I promised not to bring over a banana for a demonstration.
A banana for demonstration? Too much info for me...and I love the cartoon!ReplyDelete
Loved the cartoon, unusual subject but we all know it exists.. Made interesting reading Julie.ReplyDelete
Keep the bananas at home please. Other than that, speechless. My MIL lives alone in Florida, Dare I mentnion STDs?ReplyDelete
Dixie - Sorry, but I ran out of pickles!ReplyDelete
Yvonne - I also got a kick out of the cartoon! Thanks Yvonne!
Rhonda - This sounds like more of a mother/son conversation to me. Just think
carefully before you discuss it with your hubby. If you think there's any chance that she'd end up moving in with you in NZ, than you may want to keep it to yourself. I think this has been my second story from the Austrailian, so that tells you something right there!
LOL - Julie, no chance. New Zealand immigration is really difficult and she would never qualify.Delete
I heard about that....dirty old senors lol.ReplyDelete
I love that cartoon! I remember when Mama finally started dating after Daddy died, she complained that even men from church, seemed to think a widow woman "wanted it" and that a nice dinner ought to earn them a magic pass. She was shocked. So, seventeen/eighteen year old Barbie was giving mom advice on fending off unwanted advances. Geez. My Blog: Life & Faith in CaneyheadReplyDelete
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Purel won't help in these situations.ReplyDelete
Yuck! My love of the elderly is starting to scare me....it's not literal, you understand. I'm good.ReplyDelete
Get it while you can! But yes, be safe.ReplyDelete
This is worrying. The men in your mother's community should get a clean bill of health from an STD clinic before asking your mom for a date. I think you should offer to pay for the check-up of a man your mom has her eye on.ReplyDelete
Wait, does eating bananas help prevent ST...ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.ReplyDelete
Oh my gosh the condo cowboys cracked me up. I hadn't heard about this epidemic. What next LOL.ReplyDelete
Delores - Suddenly the lip reader Isn't looking so bad, eh?!ReplyDelete
Barbara - Sorry that you also lost your dad so young. It must've been hard having to give your mom dating advice then.
Arleen - So I SHOULD be worried?! Hahaha!
Cherdo - Well. I'm glad we straightened that out!
Debra - If you saw the selection out there, you may consider twice about getting it! Although most of their eyesight, isn't that great to begin with.
Gorilla - Not only will I send him for a physical, but I'll also go over the Rules of the Road with him!
Al - Did you slip on another banana peel again? That's why you have to be safe by keeping the peel on at all times. I hope this helps, Al.
Julie - I also thought it was a great nickname, though I definitely wouldn't want to be roped in by any of them!
There's a spike of STD's in senior housing? I think that's something none of us want to hear. lolReplyDelete
That last line is hilarious!ReplyDelete
That is wild. But hey, hope for us when we get older that we'll still have what it takes for sex. (Just stick to one partner though.)
a conversation you don't want to have with the senior. Scary role reversal.ReplyDelete
But you made me chuckle
Chrys - It's not the most pleasant thought, but I'm glad we can laugh about it!ReplyDelete
Alex - With Mini-Alex by your side, you'll always have someone around to take over if you need a break! Even if you have half of your energy in thirty years, you'll still be going strong! Thanks Alex!
Joanne - I enjoyed having the "talk" with my mom, but I can't say that she felt the same
"Condo cowboys". Ha!ReplyDelete
This is a little disturbing. Old people having... old people having... having... GERITOL! ...Ahh, that's a better fit.
Hey, wait a second! I myself am 55. That means... I'm "old people".
'Loyal American Underground'
Ok I am laughing so hard right now-LOL-I know it is serious but I can't stop. We forget that the people over 55 we actually the Woodstock generation-Free love, drugs and rock and rollReplyDelete
Stephen - You're only one year my senior which doesn't make you a senior, but it still makes me feel like a junior. In other words, 55 is the new 45. My mom's only eighty and she's one of the youngest gals at her place. So when we're 80, we'll be more like 70 if we start taking Geritol now!ReplyDelete
Birgit - Since I missed Woodstock the first time around, maybe there's still hope for me! Nah, I'll still be living vicariously through my mom!
Did you see my last dedication for everyone on the HERE'S TO YOU? If not, maybe I should post it again JUST FOR YOU.ReplyDelete
Robin - Ah yes, the Centrum Silver strip poker commercial! I'll never get tired of that one! It would've been the perfect ending to this story!Delete
OMG. So it's like college all over again? And, actually, my aunt met a guy in her community and got married again at 82 years old. So people are still looking to hook up, even as octogenarians.ReplyDelete
Hi Julie .. honestly you did pick up (not literally) the most wonderful illnesses .. or diseases .. or transmitted wherewithalls ... I can't keep up and wonder what on earth you're on .. just brilliant and that Banana .. but I did worry about Gorilla Bananas' name and what action he'd be taking on board .. well I think I'd better stop .. withdrawal on its way ... I shall be in the soup soon ... cheers HilaryReplyDelete
OMG! Its a fun post though its serious. Yes, people of all age get horny!ReplyDelete
And just when I thought I'd laughed enough for one day!ReplyDelete
Funny really that these oldies don't take precautions when they are indulging. You'd think they would know better. People will soon be making porn movies in retirement homes.ReplyDelete
Luanne - Hooray for your aunt! I hope the happy couple have many wonderful years together! Sadly, I missed out on all that fun in college!ReplyDelete
Hilary - I hope I haven't picked up any of these diseases. Do you know something I don't know? Oh Gorilla will absolutely go bananas that you've been thinking of him! Try to stay away from the soup, Hilary!
RR - Let's just call it seriously funny for now!
Lee - There's always room for another heaping helping of laughter!
Jo - If it helps cover the high costs of assisted living, why not?!
Yikes...this gives new meaning to 'Oldies but Goodies'. When I saw the title, I knew this was going to be a good LOL...sure enough! Entertaining comments, too. Keep on eye on 'Gorgeous'...I bet the Geezers are!ReplyDelete
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I love your mom! I guess desire trumps age no matter what.ReplyDelete
I agree with Carol. Your Mom is GREAT! So are you. I liked how you delivered this bad news. I will take your mom's example and keep my legs crossed for sure.ReplyDelete
Ha! I love your stories about your mom. And now I think I want to see the banana demonstration. ;)ReplyDelete
Sue - Gorgeous will be thrilled to know you're looking out for her! You've been posting lots of "Oldies but Goodies" too! Thanks Sue!ReplyDelete
Carol - Something tells me that little blue pills have a lot to do with it!
Shelly - Glad we won't have to worry about you in thirty years, Shelly!
Daisy - Hahaha! No, you definitely do not! Thanks anyway, Daisy!
I'm just happy to know that age doesn't end everything ;)ReplyDelete
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Not so mind boggling to me. After my mom died and my dad started dating again, I thought it was for companionship. Well, he admitted it was also for *whisper* s-e-x.ReplyDelete
He was 83 years young.