Monday, April 4, 2011

Dropping Dead

                                                                                                Julie Kemp Pick

One of my biggest fears is dropping dead in a public restroom. I could just imagine hearing over the loud speaker at Target, " Clean up in aisle 5. Dead woman in stall #2." What if  I hadn't shaved my legs or had a recent pedicure? And how many paramedics would have to carry me out?

Another horrible place to die would be in a department store fitting room in the middle of trying on a bathing suit. Who would be the first to discover me half dressed? What if  the salesperson saw my granny panties? I could just imagine them calling my family to pick me up in the middle of a play-off game, and they'd all have the same response, "What's the rush?"

I'm currently having my black suit cleaned, just in case. Although I do look better in brighter colors. Maybe I'll go shopping. Then there's always the worry that no one would  want to attend my final farewell. Erma Bombeck said it best, "If it looks like a lot of people aren't going to show up for my funeral, hold it in a phone booth, so it'll look crowded."

A to Z Blogging Challenge


  1. I used to think dropping dead at work would be undignified.

  2. Too funny and too true.

    How about dropping dead anywhere - but before you get to see your children married, or your first grandchild. I guess I am more into "what am I missing".

    Great post and a great "D" topic.

  3. Too funny, yet at the same time too scary to want to think about.

    My Mom always told me to never go out without putting on clean underwear, but what if something happened that caused you to mess yourself. I guess there aren't too many options for that.

  4. Ah! You've just given me ample fodder for nightmares now! :)

  5. You win the prize for most original blog topic today! LOL Now I have another reason to avoid public restrooms. ;)

  6. LOL! I have really been enjoying all your posts. They are so original and fun to read. I try not to think about dropping dead in public. I would rather just go in my sleep.

  7. Funny post. Nice bumping into you. :)

  8. Very funny... I wouldn't be worried about where I die.. I mean, I'll be dead, so it won't be ME that has to deal with the embarrassment.

    I DO worry about falling off my disability chair in the shower and ending up stuck UNDER it and the dear hubby having to call the paramedics to come untangle me. NIGHTMARE!

  9. Hi Julie .. not sure I'd mind at all - I wouldn't be worrying then would I .. someone else's problem .. but preferably I'd rather hang around another few decades ... in fact as India says above .. cheers Hilary

  10. mybabyjohn - It doesn't matter where you work, just wear a helmet and you'll be safe.

    Elaine - I alway worry about what I'd be missing out on too. Let's stay healthy.

    Talli - You don't have time for nightmares. You will be fine. Just take care of your bunion.

    Jeffrey - That's what bushes are for.

    Amy - I enjoy your blogs too, and with all the healthy things you are doing, you'll be around for a very long time.

    M Pax - Thanks...I'll drop by your blog too.

    India - Please be careful in the shower and always keep a phone and a robe close by. For peace of mind you may want to shower with a friend, preferably someone your husband approves of. Thanks for visiting and congrats again!

  11. Darkly funny topic! I've had random thoughts about how embarrassing it would be to die at a certain time.

    Good luck on the A to Z Challenge!

  12. Hilary - I'm glad you'll be hanging around!

    Shannon - Thanks for following me, I will do the same.

  13. Funny post Julie. I love the "Dead woman in stall #2." I haven't ever really thought it before, but I was always advised by my grandma never to go out in ripped underwear, just in case I ended up in hospital.

  14. If it looks like a lot of people are not going to be at your funeral, it is because you out lived them all. Don't worry about cleaning the suit! lrk

  15. For someone who looks so young and attractive you have a very old soul.