Julie Kemp Pick
One of my biggest fears is dropping dead in a public restroom. I could just imagine hearing over the loud speaker at Target, " Clean up in aisle 5. Dead woman in stall #2." What if I hadn't shaved my legs or had a recent pedicure? And how many paramedics would have to carry me out?
Another horrible place to die would be in a department store fitting room in the middle of trying on a bathing suit. Who would be the first to discover me half dressed? What if the salesperson saw my granny panties? I could just imagine them calling my family to pick me up in the middle of a play-off game, and they'd all have the same response, "What's the rush?"
I'm currently having my black suit cleaned, just in case. Although I do look better in brighter colors. Maybe I'll go shopping. Then there's always the worry that no one would want to attend my final farewell. Erma Bombeck said it best, "If it looks like a lot of people aren't going to show up for my funeral, hold it in a phone booth, so it'll look crowded."
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