Sunday, April 8, 2012

Hard of Hearing Husbands

Wife And Husband Watch Tv Show

Husband: What did he say?

Wife: Pause the TV and I'll tell you.

(After the explanation, he plays it back)

Wife: Do you think I'm a liar? Why would I waste more time inventing new dialogue? If you were going to rewind it anyway, then why did you ask me in the first place? If we keep going through this over and over again a sitcom will turn into a drama, and a drama will turn into a mini-series.....

Husband: What?

Has this happened in your home? Is your husband or aged boy toy in denial about hearing loss? Can you listen to all of your next-door neighbors' TV shows with the windows closed? And what about the issue of selective hearing? Does this affect old and young alike?

In our household, there is definitely a selective hearing epidemic that has taken over all of the male members. My husband yo-yo's back and forth between not hearing anything, dozing off in the middle of a sentence, to hearing whispers, and complete conversations with friends in noisy restaurants. Of course, he has the uncanny ability to hear all bodily sounds, but fortunately his sense of smell is floundering.

My sons' have inherited my husband's ability to tune me out especially when I ask them to pick up their clothes or straighten out their rooms. All three of them can watch a game on TV, text, and IM at the same time. Though my husband mistakes  IM's for instant meals.

I often worry that my husband may one day drag me down to the guttural gallows, as the volume continues to go up. The other day my brother asked me," What are the two things our mom does better than anyone else at the retirement community? "  Considering that my mom is amongst the youngest of the residents, I thought long and hard about my answer. Two seconds later I replied, " Seeing and hearing!" Well my eyesight isn't as sharp as it used to be, but I'll fight to preserve my exceptional inherent hearing skills.  Even if it means hiding the remote.


  1. Wonderful to read , I would hate it if either my seeing or hearing went. I know as we get older it's a liklihood.
    A good H post.


  2. that's so nice to read
    great post :)

  3. When you live with someone who is hard of hearing AND practices selective hearing it is important to keep your sense of humour.

  4. Have you been observing our household? My husband had selective hearing for years, and still does. However, I finally convinced him he needed hearing aids. He got his first pair reluctantly at about age 50. Unfortunately, they were the old style that's been around for years. Consequently, he only wore them when he went to work or we were out. Why should he leave his hearing aids in when we were alone at home!!!! Finally his hearing got so bad that the digital kind was the route to go. They are well worth every expensive cent they cost. And, he wears them much more than he did the first pair he got. Good luck - at some point you'll have to convince your hubby that he really needs hearing aids. Yes, some is no doubt selective hearing, but it could also mean that his hearing is starting to go.

  5. lol Selective hearing is bad enough, add in real hearing loss and patience and humor are probably going to be the only thing keeping you sane. xD

  6. It's funny you should mention selective hearing because that was going to be my comment. Mr A almost always responds to any statement from me with, "What?" If I'm feeling bolshy I don't bother to repeat myself but carry on with the conversation and he always knows what I'm talking about. I think it's a habit... or maybe he hopes I'll stop talking for a bit. No way!

    Hope you're having a lovely Pesach too. We spent the first two nights with family and friends which was lovely but now I have to face the matzo related... what was it you were saying about your husband hearing bodily noises?!?

  7. Oh yes, I know what you mean. I can't complain though because I can't hear as well as I used to either. I find myself constantly checking to find out if he said what I thought I heard. The worst thing though is trying to converse from opposite ends of the house.

  8. I think we all have selective hearing to a certain extent, but most men have a "wife filter". (Maybe because we talk too much?) My hubby sometimes doesn't hear what I say while I'm sitting right next to him, but has the uncanny ability to converse with one person, and still decipher two other conversations going on in another room at the same time.

  9. It's something in the male DNA for sure. My son is now showing signs of it as well. Sigh.

  10. Yvonne - We just have to be thankful and try to take good care of ourselves. Thanks Yvonne!

    You - Thanks for following me and I'll head over soon!

    Delores - I couldn't agree more!

    Donna - Thanks for visiting and good luck with the challenge too!

    Mary - He's been having problems with background noise for years. I'll show him your comment and maybe that will help convince him. Glad your husband's hearing has improved with the aid, and I hope he has completely recovered from his fall. Thanks Mary!

    Valerie - Wise words, but I do wish that I was more patient! Thanks Valerie!

    Rosalind - Ah the effects of matzo! I try not to eat too much of it, but I can't resist the chocolate leftovers! I agree that selective hearing is probably a built-in defense mechanism for men! Happy Pesach to you and your family!

    Yvonne - Opposite ends are the worst, or even just a room away if the washing machine or dishwasher is running! I can't hear well in those situations either and it drives me crazy! Thanks Yvonne!

    Susan - Your "wife filter" line is classic. It's almost like they know they only have a certain amount of hearing for the day, and they don't want to waste it on us! Thanks Susan!

    L.G. - Maybe we should try tuning them out for awhile and see how they like it! It would be an interesting experiment.
    Thanks L.G.!

  11. My step mom says it is genetic, somehow on the Y chromosome. :) My husband forgets entire conversations, but at least he doesn't fight much (like his father) that we never had them. I guess that is something.

  12. it's all an act as i am sure you are well aware of---one of the few things they do better than us ;)

  13. Haha, this is so true for all homes. I love IMs as instant meals LOL. Cute post, Julie!

  14. I don't think you're alone. :)

  15. I speak softly, and if the dog is barking and the tv is blasting, I don't stand of being heard the first time. It is frustrating because I don't know if it is me or him.

  16. Lost - It could be genetic. In our case, it's a combination of hearing loss and selective hearing, so I never know if it's intentional or not.

    Great one Alex!

    Lynn - Sometimes it reminds of The Boy Who Cried Wolf!

    Thanks Julie!

    Tonja - I think you're right!

    Lynda - I also have trouble if I'm in a noisy room, and my voice carries. Either way it's frustrating.

  17. We have some selective hearing going on around here, especially when it comes time to do chores around the house.
    : )

  18. Sorry would you like to repeat that!

  19. Susanne - Sounds familiar!

    Jenni - Sometimes I say the same thing 3 times in a row just in case!