Wednesday, April 25, 2012

The Wrong Number

Once upon a time before there was Caller ID, a young man named Stuart would call our house and ask to speak to Bonnie. I would tell him that there was no one here by that name, say goodbye and hang up. A week later he called again and we had the same conversation. My mom overheard us talking and said, "Would it kill you to be Bonnie?"

I was 23-years-old, still living at home, and on the verge of becoming an old maid. "No, I'm not gonna pretend to be someone else. We don't even know anything about this guy except that his name is Stuart, and he doesn't know how to dial a phone. To which my mom replied, "Well, he seems nice."

This was at a period in my life when I was working at a job that I loved, but I was in between boyfriends; while my mother and grandmother both had steady beaus of their own. Hence, my grandma hatched her own plan.

My grandma decided that she was going to fix me up with her friend's grandson that she met in passing on the bus. She never met the grandson, and barely knew the grandmother, but what did I have to lose? I thanked her and told her that I wasn't interested. Although that didn't stop her from handing out my phone number.

He called a few days later, and we laughed about how funny the situation was. The fact that our grandmothers were desperately trying to fix us up, was hard not to find amusing, Since our conversation went so well, we agreed to go out on a date.

I remember that we went to see the movie This Is Spinal Tap, and out for a nice dinner afterward. It was a fun evening, but we parted friends. We fulfilled our promises to our grandmothers, who may have sat on opposite ends of the bus from that point on, and nothing more.

My mom waited up for me to find out how our date went. I told her that we had a good time, but that I wasn't interested in going out with him again. Then she said that she had a feeling we weren't going to hit it off, but not to worry. Before I could question why Mom announced, "Stuart called again, and I told him my Bonnie would call him back tomorrow."


  1. Oh those are great stories. Someday, I'll look back on the matchmaking attempts of my family and laugh. For now I'm just concentrating on being the coolest old maid ever. Hehehe! Thanks for posting.

  2. A great story, excellent to read.


  3. And how did Stuart turn out?

  4. OK, so now you've piqued our interest, what happened to Stuart?
    You do, of course, realize you're going to have to write a blog post about what happened for all us new followers.
    By the way, I like the name of your blog, Empty nest insider, I'm also one.
    Blessings from Cape town, Geoff.

  5. That is hilarious! You always have the best ending lines.

  6. I think there's a longer story in there that needs exploring. The bit about Stuart and Bonnie is hilarious.

  7. This is Spinal Tap as a date is awesome. I do love your mother's insistence!

  8. What an awesome story! I just love the fact your mother and grandmother are trying to set you up.

  9. Funny how family can invade our lives hahaha. Great story.

  10. haha sometimes wrong numbers can make a good connection--cute story--sounds like a movie theme!

  11. That is hilarious!! 'Can't you just be Bonnie?" Ha, ha!

  12. Did you ever call Stuart, Bonnie? Poor guy!

  13. Yeah, Bonnie! What happened with Stuart?

  14. Love the story today and the days before Caller ID. We found a name in the local phone book Ruble We would call and ask for Barney or Betty the days before caller ID.

  15. That was lovely to read and funny too :)

  16. This was funny. As much as grown ups try in this country for young people to date, it used to be the opposite in India where we come from. There just one word, "marriage".

  17. I agree, this was funny and very well told. "Would it kill you to be Bonnie" <-hilarious. I'm relieved to have never a strong Yenta figure in my life, nor did Stuart ever call me.


  18. ha ha - what a great story. Now this Stuart guy wouldn't happen to be your Mr. now would he?

  19. Hahahaha once again your mom totally cracks me up. So did Bonnie ever actually meet Stuart? :)

  20. I love that story. What a clever mom you have. So what happened? Did Bonnie call Stuart?

  21. Ah what a Bonnie story this was. And just like "Spinal Tap", I think this deserves a volume of "eleven" :)

  22. Too funny! How was your conversation with Stuart? ;)

    1. Super Earthling - I don't think I ever spoke to Stuart again. The odds are if we had hit it off, he would have just called Bonnie to tell her about it. Thanks Super Earthling!

  23. Lee - It would have made for a great story, but I never called him. Thanks Lee!

    Julie - Though he did sound like quite a catch, I never got to meet him! Thanks Julie!

    Mary - No, but that would be a perfect ending to the story! Though I'm very lucky to have met my husband, and he even knows how to dial a phone! Thanks Mary!

    Robyn - Things may have turned out differently if I knew he liked pizza! Thanks Robyn!

    Munir - There is something to be said about the longevity of arranged marriages. Thanks Munir!

    Alex - For all we know Stuart could've been a serial killer, but of course I thanked her. Thank you Alex!

    Thanks Youmna!

    Gossip Girl - That was funny! Did Bam Bam ever answer? Thanks Gossip Girl!

    Sara - I hope they're living happily ever after now! Do you really think that I would've stood in the way of true love?

    Donna - I know it's disappointing, but I never made the call.

    Jill - Thanks so much Jill and I appreciate the follow!

    Lynn - The perfect movie ending would be to finally meet atop the Sears Tower (renamed Willis Tower)! Thanks Lynn!

    Stephen - Their intentions were good! Thanks Stephen!

    Clarissa - They didn't want me to be the odd girl out! Thanks for following me Clarissa!

    Libby - It was a fun movie, and she didn't want me to miss my chance! Thanks Libby!

    L.G. - I'm sure we could throw in some more stuff about my mom, and I could have a supporting role! Thanks L.G.!

    Thanks so much Tonja!

    Geoff - We have very dear friends from Cape town, so I know how lovely it is! Sorry there isn't anymore to the story, but I look forward to learning more about your life as an empty nester! Thanks so much Geoff!

    Delores - Sadly, we'll never know!

    Thanks Elaine!

    Thanks Yvonne!

    Jessica - You are way too young to be an old maid, and now many successful people choose to live without a partner. The phrase "Old Maid" is probably obsolete right now, or else it should be! Thanks for following me Jessica! Julie

  24. So did you ever call Stuart? I met my husband on an almost blind date.

  25. After several wrong numbers, I tried that trick on the phone. It was on Thanksgiving in 1994.
    Someone kept calling my house, asking for 'Carol' (I can't remember the name).
    I kept telling the caller he had the wrong number.
    On the FIFTH time, I finally got tired and said, "Oooh, you just missed Carol. She went to the grocery store."
    To which the caller said, "Well, could you tell her that her grandfather called to wish her a 'Happy Thanksgiving?'"
    Then, he hung up. :-(
    I felt like a schmuck.
    On a lighter side, whenever a telemarketer (or some such) calls to ask for "Mr. Penwasser," I tell them that I'm his brother-in-law and could I take a message...?
    Works alla time.
    I feel bad about that grandfather thing, though.

  26. Joyce - Nope, but I would love to hear the story about how you met your husband!

    Al - That is a great story! I'll have to try that line for the telemarketers. My voice is deep enough to get away with it. Thanks Al and I'm sure her grandfather never even knew what happened. Julie

  27. I thought you were going to say that you married Stuart in the end but alas no!

  28. Great stories. Mothers and grandmothers are something else, aren't they?