Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Chronic Constipation

A man sitting on the toilet reading a newspaper

It starts with bloating,
While the food is floating,
Round and round, as the cycle begins.

Your system is disrupted,
As your movements are obstructed,
What should go out, is settling back in.

Your mind is turning into mush,
Amidst your stomach wrestling with your tush,
In this bout where nobody wins.

Fiberific fortitude never have your fill,
Metamucil cocktails served on the treadmill,
Omissions are released, though results are nil.

Bound by endless consternation,
From the effects of chronic constipation.
When the toll is taking its course,
Never fear as relief appears in your shorts.


  1. Unusual C word but an excellent verse about this condition. well done.


  2. I'm .... uh ... speechless.

    So, I am wondering if you're going to go the "other extreme" with "D". :-)

    Thanks for this morning laugh.

  3. LOL! I can honestly say I have never seen this word in poetry before. Well done. :)

  4. LOL! Well done on getting the most imaginative C word for today (I think). Ewwww...tomorrow's "D" - is it the effect of too much fiber?

  5. I just caught up with you. Your posts are priceless. The most important function of our body and people never talk about it. A big hi-5, Julie. :)

  6. Hilarious! And between you and me *whispers* I've been there!!!

  7. Thanks Yvonne!

    Corrine - I just found a way to follow you with the iPad. Yesterday I went on two other computers and nothing happened. My comment froze after a few words, but I just sent it through. The problem is, my husband often takes the iPad to work with him (I just borrow it), so I may not be able to comment as often as I'd like to. Thanks Corrine!

    Thanks Melissa!

    Susan - No worries, I've gone in a completely different direction for "D!" Thanks Susan!

    Manzie - Thanks so much and I'll head over to you soon!

    Thanks Delores, I think!

    Rosalind - Sad, but true for many of us. So I've heard! Thanks Rosalind!

  8. I shouldn't Laugh cause this is probably a problem for someone but I did!

  9. Ummm ... okay. Thanks for the post. I think. hahaha too funny.

  10. Roza - I think that it makes problems easier when we laugh at them! Thanks for following me Roza!

    Stephen - I'm sorry, but I had to do it! Thanks for being brave enough to keep coming back! Julie

  11. This is hilarious - loved it!
    The solution: high-fibre bran...

  12. LOL! I'm a little afraid of what you might have in store for us for D. :D

  13. That's why you eat your fruit, veggies, and fiber and drink lots of water!

  14. Ha! Love it. Cigar and a beer will cure that every time.

  15. Ha ha! Julie, it's been so long since I've visited your blog that I forgot how funny and clever you are. :) You rock!

  16. Thanks Donna!

    Michelle - I'm with you and the high-fibre bran! Thanks Michelle!

    Julie - Don't be afraid...well maybe just a little! But I will tell you it's nothing gross. Thanks Julie!

    Alex - A winning combination!

    Bushman - Thanks, I'm off to the cigar store!

  17. My favorite episode of "King of the Hill" was the episode where Hank got constipated and when he finally goes it's to the "Ode to Joy" which is exactly how I felt when I finally went after being constipated.

  18. Hi Julie! Ahh, poetry about chronic constipation. I'll have to show this to my husband. Can't wait to see what your next post will be about.
    : )


  19. Angela - Great to see you at A to Z again! Thanks and you are one funny and clever woman yourself!

    PT - That is the perfect song for the moment! Thanks for following me, and I'll be over soon!

    Susanne - Maybe you can pass along Bushman's "beer and cigar" remedy for your husband! On second thought, fiber is better! Hope he's feeling ok. Thanks Susanne!

  20. OMC - this is such a funny post. Wish I had half of your humor and talent.

  21. Well, if I had to read a poem about constipation, I'm glad yours was the one that appeared on my screen:) Great blog you have here!

  22. Mary - YOU have a wonderful sense of humor and are very talented! Thanks for your generous compliments, and I hope to deserve them one day.

    M.J. - I feel like I put you through initiation! Well the good news is, you passed! Thanks for following me M.J., and I appreciate your kind words...I think!

  23. HA! Did you write this??? Great job. I was laughing ... and straining ... with ya.

    1. Don't strain too hard, and not only did I write it, I lived it! Thanks Susan!

  24. HAHA!Great job author!Lol! Can you write poem on topic molasses-constipation ?