Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Imbecilic Idiots


Recently, a man was arrested in Florida for calling 911 during an argument with his wife about not giving him enough privacy on Facebook. According to the police deputy, "the husband called 911, because he was upset about his wife sitting next to him and not going to sleep after he gave her eight beers."

The wife told the deputy she "didn't feel like sitting anywhere else" in her mobile home. The deputy added, "He wanted me to make his wife not sit next to him and go to bed like she was supposed to." The Tampa Bay Times also reported that the husband was arrested for "misuse of 911" and sentenced to sixty days in jail.

While searching for other incidents of idiocy, I came across an excerpt from Dr. Orrange's 8 Crazy Stories From The ER:

A morbidly obese man came into the ER with a large abdominal pannus (hanging flap of tissue), exhibiting irritated skin  around the abdomen. During the exam, I lifted the pannus and a turkey sandwich fell from between his folds. The man said it was about a month old, which the smell confirmed.

This next case was found under the "retained objects" category:

A patient came in with a very simple case: a toilet scrubber had become lodged in his rectum. Curiously, he wasn't sure how it got there.

These incidents could have been avoided if the wife pulled up a possum to sit on, and the obese man defrosted his walking refrigerator. The toilet scrubber accident could have happened to anyone.

As Albert Einstein once said, "Only two things in life are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

15 comments:

  1. Oh wow. Those make for some great stories.

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  2. Thanks Matthew!

    Lynn - I had the same reaction! Thanks Lynn!

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  3. All I can do is laugh! Thanks for the mid-afternoon jolly!

    *~ MAJK ~*
    Twitter @safireblade
    A to Z Blog Challenge

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  4. Thanks for the laughs, Julie! Of all the above, I wonder who is the most idiotic? It would be a fight for top position... LOL!

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  5. Oh, one of our families all time favorites! We have to watch this at least once a year and quote it so often. Every time the 'bathroom' scene comes on my husband starts laughing until he cries! :) Great post for the challenge!!!

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  6. Oh, wow. Those are hilarious. It makes you wonder about some people sometimes.

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  7. But....was the turkey dark meat or white meat?
    'Cause a white meat sandwich with Miracle Whip is breathtaking.
    The stomach fold thing is a tad off-putting, though.

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  8. Julie,
    I always enjoy reading about stupidity. Why is that?

    Loved this post.

    The Write Soil
    1st Writes

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  9. Wow! All three stories wow! A month old sandwich you say? WOW!!!

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  10. I'm just.. wow I... goodness gracious..

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  11. These could be interesting characters, but I wouldn't care to know them. Weird.

    Good choice of subject, but very hard to discuss without annoying someone. Thanks for dropping by my blog!

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  12. Thanks MAJK!

    Michelle - It's tough, but I'd have to say the man who got sixty days in jail wins the prize! Thanks Michelle!

    Melody - I haven't seen Dumb and Dumber in years, but I remember how much fun we had watching it with our boys! Thanks for following me and I'll be over soon!

    Miranda - It certainly does! Thanks for following me, and I hope to see more of you!

    Al - Glad we have the same taste in turkey sandwiches, but I don't understand how you could possibly find any of this "off-putting!"

    Carol - You are "simply amazing" for reading this!

    Dawn - I think it's because it might just make us feel a little better about ourselves. Nah, it's just stupid funny! Thanks Dawn and it's good to see you!

    Libby - You may not want to give anyone ideas for a "W" post! Thanks Libby!

    Mr. Opinion - They should just have symbols to respond to silly blogs like this. For example, a picture of a cockoo bird would be appropriate for this one! Thanks Mr. Opinion!

    D.G. - I guess after raising boys gross things just don't seem to annoy me, unless I have to clean them up. Thanks D.G.!

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